Intelligent Humour Quotes Novels & Stories

he sounded so level headed, so calm and collected- it turned me on for some reason. I thought I’d be offended. But all I could do was laugh, this drink is working. He looked at me with amusement, he probably thinks I’m crazy. “Well I guess we’re both fools for falling in love. Cheers to that” with that, I down the remainder of my drink. He chuckles, damn he sounds so good. “You’re funny, but I’d like to believe it’s only because your drunk right now” I gasped “I’m very offended! I’m the funniest woman you’d ever meet. My sense of humor is unmatched, sober or drunk; but recently, I just laugh at myself. It’s pitiful, almost comical you know?”

I commented as I stepped further into the room. He didn’t turn around to look at me. I’d almost concluded he hadn’t heard me when he eventually spoke. “Did you know fishes have short memory span .. or was it attention..? I can’t even remember that,” he sighed in disappointment. “But anyway, I guess that makes me twins with the fish. I’m a fish now,” he laughed at his joke. I could hear the sadness in his voice. He’d yet to look up at me. I walked over to the dresser and leaned against it. “Fishes are very intelligent and goldfishes happen to be one of the smartest. They remember a lot of things.”

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

"This doesn't just happen, you know." Both Julian and I exchanged looks with no words. Then I took one of the sliders; it actually tasted really good. That was Clara's loss, anyway. Julian went inside to drop the tray, and then Clara launched into a conversation about him. "You're so lucky to have him," she said. "I mean, for a human, he’s—how do I put it—intelligent?" I allowed the word to swim across my mind for a moment, then I couldn't interpret it in any way that wasn't an insult. "What do you mean, 'intelligent'?"

Juke grumbled under his breath, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. "I think we all know about your sense of humor Juke, it's only there when it's at the expense of others." Paul's voice carried a wry note from the back seat. "Tell us, have you ever laughed at yourself when the joke is on you, and not what you've done to someone else." "Why would I laugh at myself, that's just stupid? If something someone says upsets me, how can I find humor in that?" The genuine confusion in Juke's voice made Dale's heart twinge.

Matt muttered from the hallway. “Hey, I say great nuggets of wisdom!” Colby stifled a laugh. “Rain you say some of the most hilarious things but I don’t know if I would say that it’s wise.” “I am offended right now.” Matt snorted. “See you're saying something funny right now!” *** Lia

“I… I want to sell the rest of my shares.” For a second, there was nothing. Then, he started laughing. It was a cold, mocking sound that filled the room, sharp and humorless. It was the sound of pure, undiluted contempt. It died as suddenly as it began. He looked at me, and his smile was a cruel, thin line. “If being intelligent was a crime, you’d be a free man.”

“Pѕѕhhhtt, lіkе I’m аnуоnе’ѕ monkey. You’ve barely gоt a brain сеll to rub tоgеthеr іf wе’rе talking аbоut actual іntеllіgеnсе then I think you’re wау оut of your lеаguе, mауbе juѕt ѕіt thеrе аnd lооk рrеttу.” “Fuсk you, Elіjаh, уоu thіnk because уоu’rе ԛuісk wіttеd wіth thаt ѕmаrt mоuth that you’re аbоvе everyone else.”

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

"That's an easy death. I prefer torturing someone to death... Say slowly slicing your neck while you watch... Or stabbing your knees and elbows countless times." Okay... She's starting to give me the creeps. "God! I'm just kidding. Stop looking at me like I'm some serial killer," she laughs. "I keep forgetting it takes an intelligent person to get my dark sense of humour." She just called me stupid but it's fine... As long as I'm not getting my neck sliced or my elbows stabbed... It's fine. "You can go for a break and eat those muffins with that mouthy black friend of yours," she blurts.