Kalau Ku Seorang Diri Novels & Stories

No one is coming after me. I slow once I realize that. No one is coming after me. No enemy is coming after me. No one who cares about me is coming after me either. The ones I love don’t want to see if I’m okay. Whatever I did must have been so horrifying that no one dares come near me. No one wants me near them. I am completely alone in a way that I've never been before. And I don't know what to do now. But I do know that I’m on my own.

I whispered wiping a tear off my cheek. There were times when I didn't want to live and I still feel that way. Even after promising Sagar that I will not harm myself I still prayed to God to take me away...from this world filled with dirt. I have no ambition in life, I have no dreams... I have no aspiration to live, in short words...I do not fear death. Death to me will be like a gift, a reward to take me from this misery and darkness. Even though I have Sagar, Aditi, and Chandni in my life, I don't know why I still feel alone. The only reason keeping me alive is the promise to Sagar and to help souls who are going through similar phases like me or much worse.

So why don't we go? Oh, this could be the end of everything So why don't we go somewhere only we know? Somewhere only we know Somewhere only we know Loneliness isn’t bad for me though. I am very used to it and I know pretty well how to make good use of it. All these time I am occupied with rebuilding my life with Mallory. I stand up facing a full body mirror beside the closet. ‘You’re doing fine Irina,’ I said to my appearance in the mirror as if talking to another person. ‘Dress nicely and grab yourself a nice drink.’ I added.

The word echoes in my head, cruel and unrelenting. I am alone. Truly, utterly alone. The vast stretch of forest before me feels endless, swallowing what little strength I have left. Fear claws at my chest, whispering doubts in my mind. I have no plan. No destination. Nowhere to go. I am lost But I have to keep moving. I have no other choice.

Maxiana I’m on the beach again, that beach of gems and calm, dark water. Black mist hangs all around me as I walk in no single direction, unsure if I’m going to step off the beach and into a vat of inky, black nothingness again. He’s not here this time. I’m not sure how I know, but I can just… feel that I’m alone. Horribly, inexplicitly alone. I’ve never been alone. Never. Not a single day in my life.

His footsteps begin to fade away, and I let out a loud cry once I am left alone, feeling the air slowly seize from my lungs as I struggle to break free from the confined space. "Someone, please help me! Please!" I yell, hoping someone from the other end will come to my aid, but no one does. I don’t know how long I stay in there, but one thing I do know is that I have never felt more alone.

And as I stare out at the city, I realize that being alone doesn't mean I'm lost. I am exactly where I need to be.

I seethed. I don't even know her closely anymore. These past few weeks, I've literally been alone by myself. I have no one to rely on other than myself. "How can you say that, Lunette? We are literally one. We can't do without the other," her voice softened, but I don't care. "That's where you're wrong." I cut in. My grip on the plate tightened. "One thing that I've learned so far is that I don't need anyone. I can survive alone."

Obviously, you have no where to go to. No parents, no home, no friends, no family...you seemingly have no one. So technically you are alone. One thing you should get in your little head... You have an owner

Not even Mother. And then he was gone. They all left. And I was alone. Just me. Standing there. Wet, cold, and abandoned, like I was the most insignificant person in the world.