Momma Jokes Novels & Stories

I hesitated, smiling comically before resting my head back on the pillow. "Ehen, even at that... Who are you shy of in this house?" my mom chuckled as she teased -- she was always fond of taunting me so she could have a good laugh. "Mmom!... Like seriously?" I exclaimed startlingly with a surprised look on my face as I laughed - throwing a pillow at her feet. "So mummy can not tell jokes again?" she concluded rhetorically while laughing and was about turning to leave when my room door resounded with brief knockes.

I said hugging her tightly. They started making plans how to torture my husband and I think I am going to enjoy this. "Oh common guys I am hungry," I said smiling. "You won't eat this time right," Mumma asked suspiciously making me blush. "Don't tell me I am going to be Grandma," My mother-in-law joked looking at me and I nodded my head making them squeal in surprise. Both mothers started jumping like school girls making me irritate. Why I have to be in this alien family?

I laughed out, "Floozy, mom? Really? I don't think there have been any floozies since the dark ages when you went to high school." Mom gasped at my retort, then jabbed her ass back into my crotch, as she said "I am not old, mister." I hugged her tighter, as I placed a kiss to the back of her head. I then answered, "I know you aren't, mom. I'm just messing with you."

Even though I've tried to be quiet, they always have a way of bothering me. I also slapped Sonya for no reason. That time, Sonya made fun of Mom, who had been in a coma for years. She used to call me a motherless child. She also said that I was born from a mummy. I was so angry when she made fun of Mom and me.

"Kaiden and Roman would have such a field day if they ever heard me telling something like that." "Well, good thing I'm not a dad. Hey, do you want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it." I choke on my own saliva in an effort to groan louder than Dad, but I have to admit mom's lame jokes are taking my mind off the stinging pain and desire in my body. "Then there's the one about the clown who visited his cousin in Austra—" Dad opens his mouth to cut her off, but he's interrupted by a loud banging on the front door.

So, I ate my breakfast…fast… “Ma, why did you wake me up so early? The princess was finally going to kiss me but you woke me up. You’re such a killjoy, Mom,” I joked, laughing. But Mama’s brows just met as she frowned when she looked at me, and by that, I knew that she took my joke seriously. “Ouch! Ouch! Let go of my ears mom!” I shouted when she pinched my ear and pulled it lightly.

She was smiling and laughing more… with Dad! In the last video, Mom sat up her own, unaided on the bed. And with a big grin on her face, she smiled radiantly at Dad as she thanked him for bringing her her best dessert…jello. Then looking into the camera, she smilingly said, “Look at me, conquering spoons, my darlings! Your Momma is surely the queen of comebacks!” she winked. The time stamp of the video read 1:07 pm.

Mom: if you claim you love this girl, then do what would make her happy Me: what if I can't. Mom: what if you can? I sighed Me: should I make you proud? She smiled Mom: at least, for once. Make momma proud by doing the right thing I chuckled quietly

“Howard. Every night I dream of Bella. She would be standing by the bed, covered in blood. She asked me why I had hit her brother.” Dad remained silent. Mom pounded on the glass suddenly. “Tell me. What did I do wrong? I work from dawn till dusk every day. Wasn’t I just hoping my children would succeed in life? Other mothers beat their children too. So why don’t other people’s children die?” Dad looked at her. “Because other mothers treat their children like human beings.” Dad stood up, and stated, “This is the last time I’ll visit you. I won’t be coming again.”

“Unlike some fat-ass idiots in this school, I don’t have to pay attention in class to pass mine.” “No. You just need Mommy and Daddy’s money to help you do that. ” He leaned his forearm against the table. “How’s your mom doing, Rae? I heard she had quite a time this past weekend.” I rolled my eyes. “Clever, Clinton. A mom joke. We’re all impressed. Such original material.” He narrowed his eyes. “It’s Clint.” I started slow-clapping, which caused Marina to laugh even harder. And while her laugh was the most annoying thing on the face of this planet, it only served to piss Clint off more. Which was a marvelous sight.