Momma Jokes Novels & Stories

Unknown: mommy is mad I took her phone Unknown: please hurry Mara

"Yes, you're our favorite and we love to tickle you, come here-" "No, mama! No!" I shouted while laughing and ran out of the room, my mom was trying to climb on the bed to tickle me. "Come back here, Aubree Lynn!" My mom shouted at me. "No way, mama, I might pee myself from laughing so much." "Is that so? Okay, I'll show your dad that you made your ex your phone wallpaper!" "What? Oh no… "Mama! No.." I quickly went back to my room to get my phone.

Mom says, laughing. “After the second one, I don’t even care if Lorenzo confuses anything anymore, after all, what’s soap in your hair compared to a good cum shot…” My mother-in-law says and laughs. “Look at the madness! What a thing! Do you want to traumatize me? I'm going to start talking about bitching too! You bastards!” I say ordering the whole damn thing and continuing.” Let’s go in, we have a lot of things to do, and no talking about naughty things in front of me, crazy people!” I speak and they both come in laughing, it's each other in this life.

My fingers were still numb as I opened the post again. The poster had updated it a minute ago. [Thanks to @LindaKnowsBest for the idea. I already did it. Now I'm waiting to see how my older daughter reacts.] The comments were tearing her apart. She ignored every one of them. I stared at the update, then laughed. Fine. If you wanted to play games, I could play too. *** My phone buzzed again. Another long voice message from Mom. "Kyla, did you see it? I've been through this before. Once a man cheats, he's trash. You need to think ahead!"

For a moment I thought they could be stuck on fangs, a lot of people did that right? Mom shook her head, reaching for the end table drawer and pulling out a brown paper bag. “Oh no, her laughing isn’t a good thing, hun.” I began laughing, laughing so hard, tears welled in my eyes. This was not happening; my Mom was not dating a vampire and I was not going to call him dad either. She was talking about having babies with his man! Was my mom still young enough to do that? She’s pushing fifty while this guy looked to be my age! Mom pulled my hands away, putting the paper bag over my mouth, the laughing turned into hyperventilating.

I glared at her. She laughed. “Just kidding, baby.” My mom raised her hand with a “peace” sign. In order not to be fully consumed by my worry, I diverted our topic into something funny. We talked about my childhood days. My mom told me what embarrassing things I did when I was a child. “Yeah. Badly!” My mom burst out into laughter. “You even pack your things!” “Seriously, ma?” I don’t have any idea what my mom is talking about. Maybe, I was a kid.

Mamma is so happy darling . Ohh God please just save me now I was thinking while my mom was continuously talking about her new family...I am not interested in it even for a single decimal let alone percent and even she knows how she dragged me here by emotional dramas and nagging of being clumsy!!! I mean seriously how could you even brought that topic of me being fallen in pit of mud top of that she even not accepted the reason I falled was the high heels she made me to wear in that stupid party .

She tilts her head and leans closer. "Either you're pregnant or acquired a second heart," her words are whispered quietly enough so no one but I can hear. I laugh loudly, and everyone turns. Crap. "Mum was telling me a joke," I lie. "What joke? She can't do jokes," my dad laughs, and Darius nods in agreement. "It wasn't a joke, that's why. She just laughed at something I said," my mum mutters and turns to me. Everyone goes back to their conversations now. "Storm, it wasn't a joke," she mutters.

, mom asked, zipping up the bag she was packing stuffs in, before. "Yeah, of course....on the day pigs will fly", she bluntly replied as she turned sluggishly towards the bathroom. "...and probably become the George of the Jungle", she muttered as she walked down the hallway. "Don't mind her, baby", Mom pulled my cheeks playfully. "You're gonna have the fun of your life", she said smiling. You could tell a mile away she doesn't even believe what she just said. Three harmonious taps... "Mmasi, go, check who's at the door", Mom's voice reverberated down the hallway

Shooting my husband a furious glance I mouth, don’t tell her that! He arches a heavy brow, as if to ask if he should lie to her. Before I can react, Lila has another question on her tongue. “Mommies can be bad?” She inquires with amazement, her two-toned eyes wide. “Of course,” my mate explains ominously, “anyone can be bad, and today your Mommy decided to try and go for a swim.” “But Mommy, you can’t swim!” Lila reminds me.