Momma Jokes Novels & Stories

Irritated, Barbara slapped him and said, "Why are you crying? No one died in this house." The five or six-year-old Jerry Miller cried and said sadly, "Mom is mean, Mom is a witch. I don't like Mom anymore!" Barbara, already in a bad mood, was even more angered by her son's public mockery, making her want to slap him again. The mother and son created a chaotic scene in the living room. Madam Martínez had a displeased expression and said calmly, "Haley, after signing the contract, come to my study with me."

I threw a glance at my mother, "...when I have an uninterrupted sound sleep." Aunty Vicky snorted, and smartly disguised it as a cough when Mama rolled her eyes at my statement. "Well, it's obvious that I'm not needed here. Since you two want to gossip, and throw accusations in my face, I'm going to go upstairs to the only one who understands me. My husband." With that, she hopped down the stool, gulped down her coffee and then sashayed out of the kitchen. Aunt Vicky and I waited for a little bit to make sure she was out of earshot, and then we burst into loud peals of laughter. "God, your mum is such a drama queen." She groaned out, seemingly exhausted from laughing so much.

How ridiculous it was! "Mom?"

Val gave an apologetic smile and sipped from her glass of coke. “We wouldn’t need to say it out loud because the amount of fat in these would literally kill us one day.” Zia scoffed, grabbing a bite of lasagna, and then pushed her palms out, seeing Mamma take a step in her direction. “Mamma, I’m just joking.” “Why do you eat it when you have to complain?” “It’s not like I can puke everything out now.” “Then stop puking stupid words.” Val and I could barely contain our laughter, the sounds, which according to my Mamma, were too unladylike, but little did we care. The ringing cell in Mamma’s apron pocket interrupted us. Mamma pulled it out and her brows creased.

mom is still yelling at me. "Mama, yes, even if you still want it, we'll go there immediately," I said while still raising an eyebrow. "Oh? All right! Come home to us and get dressed. Then go to the university," said mom. "Mom! You're so bad?! You're just joking. It's not funny anymore," I said with a sneer. "Hey! What a joke?! This isn't the time for your j-joke time! We're talking about studying and then you're joking?! Maybe you just want to stop studying?!"

Mom says, closing the door behind Maggie, and turning towards me with a big smile on her lips. "Well, young man." She says, walking towards me. "So, you and Maggie, huh?" "Yes ma'am." I answer, smiling back at her. "I couldn't help myself." I answer. "So now you've fucked the mother and the daughter." She says, wrinkling her brow as another thought hits her. "Just like at home!" She exclaims. "You are one busy mother fucker." She says, laughing at her own joke, as she pulls me into a tight embrace.

His thumb circled my clit like he had all night. I was going to die at this table. The rest of dinner was torture in surround sound. Mom chattered happily about the Asia trip that was “definitely happening soon, maybe next week, maybe a whole month, who knows, isn’t that exciting?!” Richard made one of his corny dad jokes about frequent-flier miles. Mom howled like it was comedy gold. Jax laughed along like he wasn't fingers fucking me harder every time I tried to become a little comfortable. By the time plates were empty, I was a shaking soaked mess, biting my lip bloody to stay quiet.

James gulped as he tried to deny it. “You little fucking liar. Want me to call Amy right now? Ask if you’ve ever laughed or called her names for her weight?” I slammed my hands on the table. James was withering knowing I had him. “It was just joking around. No one was getting hurt.” James was starting to shake under the gaze of our moms. “Just jokes?” Mamá sniffled. “No one was getting hurt?” Mom’s green eyes had hardened to emeralds and were glaring daggers. If she could make lasers with them, James would be ash.

“Thank you for the cookies. By the way, don’t take this the wrong way, but you and your perfect pregnancy can suck it.” Morgan laughed her head off. “ISABELLA!” Mama chastised me. “Don’t be so rude!” “It’s ok, Nina,” Morgan giggled. “It’s an inside joke.” “Thank God!” Mama sighed. “I thought I was going to have to smack my pregnant child up the side of the head.”

I said, picking up the call. “Finally I get to hear your voice. For a second there I thought you were dead,” she joked. That was my mother. A woman who loved dark humor to its core. “How is the weather over in the states treating you? Are you okay? Do they serve some of those hamburgers that give cancer?” “Mum, that’s fake news. You don’t need to say that again. Maybe some time you can visit here.” “Sure, maybe when I’m dead,” she laughed as I rolled my eyes.