Naskah Stand Up Comedy Terlucu

⚠WARNING⚠ [THIS STORY CONTAIN MATURE SCENE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK] [The Names, Characters, Businesses, Places and Events are the Author's Imagination. Any Resemblance to Actual Events, Places or Person is Coincidental.] Umiikot na ang paningin ni Aerah, dahil sa sobrang kalasingan. Gusto na niyang umuwi. Pasuray-suray siyang naglalakad sa gitna nang mga taong nagsasayawan hanggan sa may nabangga siyang lalaki. Her eyes settled on the gorgeous man in front of her. She can feel her world tilting. But she keep on staring at his handsome face. Tumingin siya sa labi nito like it's inviting her to kiss him at nakaramdam siya na parang nag iinit ang kanyang katawa. Nawala ang inhibisyon niya sa katawa dahil sa epekto nang Alak na nainom at walang sere-seremonyang sinakop nang mainit na halik ang labi nito. Dahil sa isang halik ay nauwi sa mainit na pagtatalik.... Naging maayos ang lahat sa mga nagdaang araw, until she meet her Boss....

Extract Alpha Dominic’s gaze cut through me like ice. “I don’t know you,” he spat, his voice filled with disgust. “How dare you show up out of nowhere, claiming to be my mate, claiming to carry my child, when I have never laid eyes on you before?” “Um, I—” I opened my mouth to explain, to tell him everything, but he cut me off. “Are you here for money? Is that it?” Without waiting for an answer, he reached into his car and pulled out a bundle of cash, flinging it at my feet. “I don’t want to see your filthy face again. I won’t waste my energy rejecting you. We will never be together. The moon goddess must have been mistaken to think a lowlife like you could be my mate.” The money lay scattered on the ground as hot tears blurred my vision. “I’m not lying,” I sobbed. “I am carrying your child.” Wolfless and satisfied, all Odette ever wanted was to be promoted and to become a full-time teacher. But her world came crumbling down when her boss made sexual advances at her, saying it was the only way for her to keep her job. Brokenhearted, she ran from the school, and instead of going home to her family, she went to a hotel, got drunk, ended up in the bed of a stranger, and got pregnant afterwards. She was sent out of the house by her mother until she aborted the baby. Will she abort the baby? Or find the father of her child?

In a world where love and betrayal collide, Aria's heartache led her on a rollercoaster ride of passion, deception, and redemption. As she grappled with the bitter sting of infidelity, little did she know that her life would soon be engulfed in a web of secrets and lies. When she caught her boyfriend Caleb entwined with her arch-nemesis Amy, Aria's world crumbled. As she severed ties with Caleb, a twist of fate brought Jacob into her life – a charismatic stranger who ignited an electric connection. But their burgeoning love story took a startling turn when Aria realized that Jacob was the father of a boy she was to babysit. Fueled by jealousy and greed, Caleb conspired with the manipulative Chastity to destroy Aria's newfound happiness. They plotted to make Aria look like a gold digger and Jacob a victim, using fabricated evidence to tear them apart. Through a relentless pursuit of the truth and unwavering support from her friend Bianca, Aria exposed the web of deceit woven by Caleb and Chastity. Her determination only deepened her bond with Jacob, who stood by her side, vowing to protect their love. As their love blossomed, Caleb and Chastity grew increasingly desperate, unveiling Aria's initial intentions to use Jacob as a pawn. Jacob, devastated, cast Aria out of his life, leaving her heartbroken and begging for a second chance. But a sinister revelation changed everything – Chastity claimed she was pregnant with Jacob's child, and the test results seemed to confirm her story. In her darkest hour, Aria found herself working at the clinic where the truth would ultimately unravel.

Even after being married for three years, my husband treats me like a stranger. When I throw up blood from pregnancy complications, he's in the prayer room chanting for his foster sister, Yvie Springton. He accuses me of being dramatic. If Yvie so much as gets a headache, he drops everything and flies overseas to be by her side. When his parents are in critical condition after a car crash, I beg him to go see them one last time. But what does he do? He claims I'm cursing Yvie. When I go into early labor and cling to life after giving birth to our son, he posts a photo of his international boarding pass on social media. At his parents' funeral, he returns to the country with Yvie and demands I leave the marriage with nothing. The day our divorce finalizes, he holds a wedding ceremony with her. I bury his parents alone. Then, at an exclusive auction, dead set on winning the famous painting for Yvie, he offered a staggering price. Even his accounts are frozen. That's when he finally realizes he's been disowned by the Springton family. His eyes are bloodshot, and he's furious as he demands answers. I simply gesture for my lawyer to step forward. He says, "Mr. Springton, take a look at this will."

Maxine Ysabell De Lara.Nag-iisang babae sa angkan ng mga De Lara. Itinururing siya ng mga itong 'A gift of God'. Lumaki siyang sinusunod ang kaniyang magulang at kailanman hindi siya sumuway sakanila. Subalit, dumating ang gabing nagpagabo sa buhay niya. Roswell Dylan Montefalco. The Most Successful Young Businessman. Business Tycoon. And Workaholic. May iisang babaeng minahal. Si Fhreaya Flores. Ang babaeng inalok niya ng kasal, ngunit iniwan siya sa ere. Dahil sa labis na pagmamahal sa dalaga. Napagkamalan niya nasi Maxine De Lara ang babaeng bumigo at nang-iwan sakanya. Pinilit niyang makatalik at buntisin ito 'nang sa ganon ay hindi na siya nito iwan. And he got her virginity. Tatlong taon siyang hindi pinatahimik ng konsensiya. Ginawa niya ang lahat para matagpuan ang babae. Ngunit, isang iraw ito mismo ang nag-apply ng trabaho sa kanyang Kompanya. Magagawa kayang pagtagpuin ang kanilang mga puso ng nag-iisa nilang koneksiyon? Magawa kaya ni Maxine na masungkit ang puso ng lalaking may matagal ng minamahal? O kahit anong gawin niya, tingin lang nito ay ina ng anak nila?

Four days after my death, my four-year-old daughter finally sensed that something was terribly wrong. The fridge door slammed into her forehead when she tried to get a snack. Normally, I would've been there in a heartbeat—arms open, kisses ready, whispering, "You're okay, sweetheart, Mommy's here." But this time, I just lay on the bed, cold and still.​ She didn't understand. She thought the sweet treat would make me respond. So she held the final piece of chocolate up to my mouth. "Here, Mommy. Have some chocolate..." But I didn't even blink. She climbed into my arms, clutching my clothes tightly. "Mommy... Mommy, wake up..." She waited for me to stroke her hair, to tell her that everything was going to be fine. There was only silence.​ Completely lost and scared, she found my phone. "Daddy, why is Mommy still sleeping?" she asked, her voice filled with desperation.​ In response, Oliver sent a photo of himself having Christmas Eve dinner with his childhood sweetheart. His voice was icy cold when he replied, "She's just sleeping, not dead. It's Christmas Eve, and I'm busy. Tell her to stop playing games and come apologize when she's done sulking." Then he hung up.​ But when the truth finally hit Oliver—when the coroner's report came, when the police knocked on his door right in the middle of his laughter, when he realized I'd been lying dead for four days while he toasted—he broke.

“I prefer to be in the arms of other men who would treat me right than be with you anymore” she breathed out. “How dare you” he yelled at her face while she stood her ground to him. “What are you...” Before she could finish her sentence, he pinned her to the wall and kissed her fiercely. He wrapped her legs around his waist leaving her back pinned to the wall as he deepened the kiss. He pulled away from the kiss slowly kissing her neck in turn as his hand slid into her panties. His fingers fondled with her wet folds giving her shimmers of pleasure she had never felt. *** Elaine, a beautiful young lady who had everything just found out that she had cancer and had about a year to live. Shattered by the news, she hid it from her family that maltreated her only for them to realize the truth and cuss her out breaking her heart.In a bid to enjoy her life to the fullest, she had a one night stand with a man but to her greatest surprise, it turned out to be her husband.

After a night with her boyfriend's enemy, Margot has to her face her fear and admit her mistake, or HE will do it. Her future starts to crumble...

One year ago, an innocent one-night-stand leaves her with the best gift of her life – a little surprise. Brittany gets her life together and moves on, creating a life for her baby. There is no room for men in her life or her bed. However, she bumps into the very man who wanted nothing to do with her, the man who had taken her all and left her broken, a man who she still desires more than she’d ever admit.

Two paths crossed on a rainy night at the bar. Lorie was seeking space from an abusive boyfriend when she met Asher, who despite his emotionless eyes and cold aura, dripped with everything sinful. In the heat of the moment, they shared an intimate night, one that was etched into their memories. They parted ways not expecting to see each other again until Lorie was shocked to see Asher arrive at the company she worked as the new CEO who she was to be his secretary. Ten hours working together everyday, the memories of that night haunted them till an unexpected love story was born. But before they could welcome it, they were faced with obstacles in the form of themselves, people they knew and didn't know. Personal trauma, Abuse and manipulation embedded in their past and present tried to pull at their budding love. Amidst the pressure from family, Asher proposed a contract marriage with Lorie which she accepted to save her from a financial crisis. Their marriage brought them closer and at the same time increased their enemies. Will their love be strong enough to face the opposition?