Naskah Stand Up Comedy Terlucu

When I woke up that morning and happened to glance at the mirror, a scream tore from my throat before I could stop it. Because on the face I had always taken such pride in, there was now a jagged, horrifying scar. As terror gripped me, a cool, detached female voice cut through the air beside me. "What are you shrieking about so early in the morning? Scared by your own ugly face?" I looked up in shock and realized the voice belonged to my girlfriend, Alicia. Only—she wasn't the same girl from yesterday. Gone was the youthful innocence I remembered. In its place, every movement, every glance radiated the allure of a mature woman. The words slipped out before I could hold them back. "Babe… you're gorgeous…" But Alicia's brows knit together, her gaze colder than ice. "Kurt, drop the act!" Act? I was at a loss. Why would she accuse me of pretending? "Don't call me the way you used to five years ago. It's disgusting." Five years ago? But… I'm still twenty-three… am I not?

Eager to get rid of her crush on her psychopathic professor, nineteen-year-old Azira Sidorov tries to reel him in by getting into trouble to get his attention. But what she never expected was Professor Blaine's dark, depraved ways to consume her whole. — Professor Blaine is psychotic. It's there in the ruthless ways he punishes students. It's there in his eyes. In his movements. And years spent observing him has made Azira Sidorov develop a soft spot for the hot, intimidating professor. Tired of holding back, she tries to reel him in by causing trouble so she could be close to him. But Professor Blaine is anything but human. He's a cold-hearted beast. When Azira wakes up the beast, he won't leave her alone. And maybe, just maybe, she likes the thrill of his whips. The harshness of his palm on her skin. The burn of his chains on her wrists. She should quit him before she ends up broken beyond repair. But Professor Blaine is an addiction. And he will consume her whole. Warning: This is a purely sadistic book. If you can't handle deep depravity, please don't read.

Two paths crossed on a rainy night at the bar. Lorie was seeking space from an abusive boyfriend when she met Asher, who despite his emotionless eyes and cold aura, dripped with everything sinful. In the heat of the moment, they shared an intimate night, one that was etched into their memories. They parted ways not expecting to see each other again until Lorie was shocked to see Asher arrive at the company she worked as the new CEO who she was to be his secretary. Ten hours working together everyday, the memories of that night haunted them till an unexpected love story was born. But before they could welcome it, they were faced with obstacles in the form of themselves, people they knew and didn't know. Personal trauma, Abuse and manipulation embedded in their past and present tried to pull at their budding love. Amidst the pressure from family, Asher proposed a contract marriage with Lorie which she accepted to save her from a financial crisis. Their marriage brought them closer and at the same time increased their enemies. Will their love be strong enough to face the opposition?

My husband's first love, the woman he had once idolized, had left him for a powerful and influential school bully. Years later, she found herself in the midst of a bitter divorce and in need of a lawyer. And who else but my husband, now an accomplished attorney, ended up back in her orbit? As he moved toward her once more, I decided it was time to step aside. After all, there was no stopping someone determined to chase after a lost cause.

Si Aliza May Paulo, ang tagapagmana ng isang makapangyarihang tao mula sa Cebu, ay mayroong lahat - kagandahan, talino, at kayamanan. Ngunit hinangad niya ang higit pa, isang buhay na malaya mula sa mga paghihigpit ng kanyang ama. Sa desperadong pagtatangka na makatakas, sumakay siya ng isang bangka patungo sa Maynila. Gayunman, nabigo ang kanyang plano nang siya ay ma-kidnap at pabalikin sa kanyang pinanggalingan.Samantala, si Jonathan "Anton" Ramos ay ang pinagkakatiwalaang kanang kamay ng ama ni Aliza. Siya ang may tungkulin na lahat, mula sa pagpapatakbo ng pamilyang negosyo hanggang sa pagdidisiplina sa tagapagmana mismo. At habang sila ay magkasama, nagsimulang makita ni Aliza si Anton sa ibang pagkakataon, at hindi niya maiwasang magtanong kung mayroon pa bang ibang aspeto sa kanilang relasyon bukod sa tagapagmana at pobre. As they faced unexpected challenges, Aliza was forced to confront her own prejudices and privilege. Would she continue to live life as a spoiled brat, or would she find the courage to change and become a better person?And as Anton and Aliza's feelings for each other grew stronger, they were faced with an impossible decision: should they follow their hearts, even if it meant going against everything they had ever known? Or should they stick to the status quo, even if it meant sacrificing their own happiness?

In order to strengthen business ties and pay an unfathomable debt, Sharon Gray is forced into an arranged marriage with the ruthless and cruel heir of the Pavilochenki dynasty, Luca. He is vicious as he is powerful, and Sharon has no choice but to agree to the marriage despite loving someone else. However, they meet in the strangest of ways, and what should have been a marriage of convenience slowly begins to change. The Pavilochenki's also have a secret motive to cripple the Grays at all cost. What happens when Luca and Sharon actually fall in love while being forced to make difficult decisions for their families? Would they continue to play the age long game of generational hatred, or is their love stronger, will it prevail? Find out!

Joel Gleason, my childhood sweetheart and fiancé, promised he'd marry no one but me. But then, to help Jenny Swisher, my adoptive sister, get through her depression, he secretly married her. I didn't hesitate for a second before agreeing to marry Conrad Lennon, Jasselton's most untouchable heir, who'd been in love with me for years. After seven years of marriage, he still spoiled me rotten. He clung to me every night like he couldn't get enough. And there was nothing he wouldn't do for me. I really thought I'd found happiness at last. But one day, after we'd slept together, I heard him talking to his best friend. "Jenny's an international best actress now. When are you dumping Jean?" "It doesn't matter. I wouldn't end up with the person I love either way. Besides, I have to keep an eye on Jean. I can't let her ruin all the happiness Jenny worked so hard for." I booted up the computer in Conrad's study and stumbled upon a hidden folder. Inside were over 100,000 photos of Jenny, plus 100 unsent love letters. I'd been fooling myself long enough. It was time to wake up. I got myself a fake body and got ready to start a fire. That was it. Conrad and I were done for good.

Berawal dari one night stand dengan Nick Carter yang mengaku sebagai adik angkatnya, Cleopatra Simpson semakin terpesona dan terjebak dalam pesona laki-laki tampan dan mempesona itu. Dia terjebak dalam cintanya sendiri dengan Nick, hingga tidak bisa menolak apa pun yang Nick mau. Dia, Cleopatra Simpson gadis yang di tinggal bunuh diri oleh ayahnya karena kebangkrutan perusahaannya. Hingga Nick Carter datang dan mengatakan kalau dia adalah anak angkat dari Tuan Simpson. Cleo di ajak tinggal bersama Nick di rumahnya, juga di beri pekerjaan yang sesuai dengan jabatannya dulu. Hingga benih cinta tumbuh dalam hati Cleo, tapi dia tidak bisa mengungkapkan secara langsung karena Nick sendiri sudah memiliki seorang kekasih. Dia terjebak jerat pesona Nick, hingga akhirnya kekasih Nick mengetahui kalau Cleo dan Nick memiliki hubungan lebih dari seorang saudara angkat. Suatu malam kekasih Nick memergoki keduanya tidur bersama. Cleo pun di ancam untuk meninggalkan Nick dan berhenti dari pekerjaannya. "Kamu harus mengasingkan diri dan pergi jauh jika ingin Nick masih memegang kekuasaan sebagai CEO perusahaan papaku. Kuberikan uang sebagai persetujuanmu untuk meninggalkan kekasihku, Cleo."

Even after being married for three years, my husband treats me like a stranger. When I throw up blood from pregnancy complications, he's in the prayer room chanting for his foster sister, Yvie Springton. He accuses me of being dramatic. If Yvie so much as gets a headache, he drops everything and flies overseas to be by her side. When his parents are in critical condition after a car crash, I beg him to go see them one last time. But what does he do? He claims I'm cursing Yvie. When I go into early labor and cling to life after giving birth to our son, he posts a photo of his international boarding pass on social media. At his parents' funeral, he returns to the country with Yvie and demands I leave the marriage with nothing. The day our divorce finalizes, he holds a wedding ceremony with her. I bury his parents alone. Then, at an exclusive auction, dead set on winning the famous painting for Yvie, he offered a staggering price. Even his accounts are frozen. That's when he finally realizes he's been disowned by the Springton family. His eyes are bloodshot, and he's furious as he demands answers. I simply gesture for my lawyer to step forward. He says, "Mr. Springton, take a look at this will."

Four days after my death, my four-year-old daughter finally sensed that something was terribly wrong. The fridge door slammed into her forehead when she tried to get a snack. Normally, I would've been there in a heartbeat—arms open, kisses ready, whispering, "You're okay, sweetheart, Mommy's here." But this time, I just lay on the bed, cold and still.​ She didn't understand. She thought the sweet treat would make me respond. So she held the final piece of chocolate up to my mouth. "Here, Mommy. Have some chocolate..." But I didn't even blink. She climbed into my arms, clutching my clothes tightly. "Mommy... Mommy, wake up..." She waited for me to stroke her hair, to tell her that everything was going to be fine. There was only silence.​ Completely lost and scared, she found my phone. "Daddy, why is Mommy still sleeping?" she asked, her voice filled with desperation.​ In response, Oliver sent a photo of himself having Christmas Eve dinner with his childhood sweetheart. His voice was icy cold when he replied, "She's just sleeping, not dead. It's Christmas Eve, and I'm busy. Tell her to stop playing games and come apologize when she's done sulking." Then he hung up.​ But when the truth finally hit Oliver—when the coroner's report came, when the police knocked on his door right in the middle of his laughter, when he realized I'd been lying dead for four days while he toasted—he broke.