Ponyboy Thoughts About Inner Self Novels & Stories

“This is pathetic,” I thought to myself as I wrapped my fist around my crown and rubbed it. I groaned, my stomach tensing. Really pathetic. The last time I touched myself, I was a boy—a pathetic, overweight boy with a head filled with fantasies, fantasies that would have never come true. And now I was grown and I was stroking my cock to the thought of a woman. And so the pathetic act begins again.

So... storming out and leaving everyone in disarray was quite nice and Theo like, you know, smooth and on flick, like the boss I am hehe But then... When I got back to my room and had a nice bath everything just came crashing in on my little head. I mean, my inner conscience which is the smart and reasonable Theo, not the big Theo down there trust me he's been talking these past few days I've just not been paying attention.*sighs*

I looked down at my hands, at the faint red marks I left there hours ago, and felt a wave of pure, unfiltered self-loathing. My body wasn't a temple, it was a piece of meat that had been failing me for twenty years. "I could do it," I said, "If the bag is big enough, why not? It’s not like I’ve had any action in years anyway. Trust me, I’m starving for it. My body is just... It doesn't even feel like it's mine most of the time." I wondered what Daddy would think of me now. Would he be proud of how much pain I could take without crying? Would he finally say I was a fast learner?

“You're only safe because Lena wouldn't like me incapacitating her friends. If I wanted to beat you up, I would have.” Was anyone listening to this crap? I subconsciously glanced around. People had returned to their businesses, seeing it was just a spat. “Audrey, please,” Selena begged. “Let me speak to him.” I stared at her. She had no idea what was being chanted in my head. He's disrespecting you. Kill him. Damon wasn’t wrong. I’d seen myself in the mirror. On the surface, I was nothing more than a helpless human. But inside, an animal roared, asking to be unleashed. My mind was screaming at me, urging me to fight him, to show him some hidden power I didn't know about.

That punk ruined Xyana's perception of her self-worth. Now, she doesn't believe she's beautiful enough and it's all because of a mere boy who doesn't know how to treat a woman. "I'll make him fucking pay." I let out as I battle my inner beast of a wolf from breaking out and making us run all the way to Black-haw pack.

“Like a shaken-up soda. In a good way. Just clarifying.” “Duly noted.” I want to tell her that I feel honored. Undeserving. That she’s pure and so damn pretty, and I’m just a street kid. A kid who never could get the best of his father. A kid tainted by that lifestyle. I’m still that kid deep down, and I’ll always carry him with me. The kid who couldn’t save his mother, who could never stand up to his devil of a father. The one who ran because that was his only option, even though my pride still smarts that I wasn’t brave enough to die with my family that day. I vowed, when Granny took me out of that life, that I’d spend every day not paying her back but doing what I could, the good, to make

Thanks to him , my calm inner self has been ripped into two different selves . One wanted to give in . One wanted to fight till death . This was what he has reduced me to. He has made me an enemy of my own being . I stare at Jacob who was accompanying his three friends . The four horsemen were together once again and the way they were going , they might end up making a hall of frame for themselves this year. Was it too late to think about being a salutatorian ? Let's give it a shot at the community college , what was so bad about it any way ?

"It's true. I don't deserve it, not when I still think about the girl I was—the girl I probably still am but who I've convinced myself I'm not. I-I still think about leaving from time to time, and it kills me because I don't want to hurt you. But I don't want to leave to be free either. It's not about freedom anymore. I don't even know what true freedom is." "Why do you think about leaving, then?" His voice remains calm, and I try to match his state. "I'm not a good person. I'm selfish and judgmental and—and my favorite part of this whole meeting is convincing everyone that I'm someone I'm not. I-I'm evil." David wipes the single, rebellious tear from my temple before it slips into my hair.

I said to myself as I head back to my apartment. I don’t know why I don’t feel any sympathy for the boy, I am just afraid that my dad will find out and be more angrier with me. Why should I even pity him? It’s not my fault anyway; he was actually showing off gestures that kept on turning me on. I admire his submission, it makes me feel more like a man, and I don’t care whether he is a boy or a girl, as long as I would be satisfied, I will surely go for it… SHADRACH’S POV…

Mayor Xavier Charming’s POV: I did realize I messed up a few times with Phoenix. I don’t understand what happened to my mind whenever I came too close to her. ‘You did nothing wrong,’ the inner child spoke up. ‘I pushed her out of the car when I wanted to --,’ I said, closing my eyes and grunting, feeling regret as I stared at the dirty coat on the floor.