Really Dark Humor Jokes Novels & Stories

On the day of our wedding, my fiance's best friend, Penny Lynd, showed me a video, smiling as she said, "Hey, Lydia. I've already educated Aron for you. He's now a real stud, so enjoy!" I felt my breath leaving my lungs as they made love in the video, while Aron Quaker laughed, clapping her shoulder. "Where did you get that AI video? I only took your clothes off that one time." While he was laughing without a care, I felt like I'd just fallen into an abyss. Seeing me lose my cool, Penny laughed out loud too. "There! I knew it would upset Lydia! She's so dumb that she can't even tell that it's an AI video—and a bet's a bet! Starting today, we will be married for three days." It was only t

"It happened in that warehouse apartment. He’d drugged me at the bar when I tried to seduce him. I smirked. "Sounds about right for a guy called Viper." "You don’t get it, Maria," she snapped, but there was no heat behind it — just frustration that I couldn’t see it the way she felt it. "He’s funny. But not ‘tell a joke’ funny. Dark funny. The kind of fun that makes you laugh when you’re scared. He says the filthiest crap. Stuff that should make you want to slap him, but then you want to fuck him instead."

I asked, "So, Miss. How is it going with the Dark humour guy? Any update so far?" "HA! Dark humour! He's the funniest guy, I've ever met. Didn't you hear that line of him? I mean he called himself motherfucker; oh my, that's the kind of humour I love. Every time he cracks a joke, it makes me head over heels for him. And not forget his awkwardness around girls" the sarcasm was dripping from her mouth. But that changed my mood. And we both started chuckling, "He's not that bad!" I exclaimed. Right? He's not that bad.

I'm not too sure who it is as everything seems so blurry, but I know I'm telling them what's going on and how sick I feel. After only a few moments of typing "drunkingly" on my phone, I let it drop to the floor and I roll over on my side, beginning to cry so loudly, I think the entire house can hear me. And the longer I cry, more pain consumes me and I'm eventually just a shaking, crying mess on the floor of the bathroom. That is until the pain just suddenly stops and everything goes as dark as the night sky.

Just a big joke named Aiden who got used. I muttered under my breath, “This is so fucked.” But nobody heard me over the music. The egg went up another level and I gripped the edge of the table, breathing through my nose. A small moan almost slipped out. I turned it into a cough. Jovian laughed. “Lightweight tonight, huh?” “Well not all of us drink like we’re trying to die, Jovian.” They roasted me for that though. Inside I felt like I was breaking. The pleasure kept building no matter how much I hated it. My dick was fully hard now, leaking into my boxers. Every time I shifted it rubbed against the fabric and made everything worse.

“I do not fall.” There was a pause. “No,” he said calmly. “You just look very funny while slipping.” The line went dead. I stood there for a long time. Then I began laughing again. Because if I did not laugh, I might start screaming. The televisions behind me kept talking. The city kept moving and for the first time in my life, I understood what it felt like to be the joke. But jokes can turn dark very quickly and I am very good at dark.

The seating arrangements were quite tricky but we still ended up at a good seat. And soon, the show started. "Hello everyone, my name is Justin and I'm your comedian for today." He said and the crowd roared with applause. "So something happened to me a week ago that I want to share with you lot." He began. "My girlfriend dog died and I got her another one but she was upset." "I asked her why.." "And she screamed - what would I do with two dead dogs?" Justin said and the crowd roared with laughter. I laughed too. I've always found dark humor funny anyways. I looked to my side where Eve sat but she didn't seem amused at all.

“HAHAHAHAHHA!” “I can’t believe our alpha is so…. HAHAHAHA!” “WEAK! HAHAHAHAHAH!” It was Augustus who continued Amadeo’s words, bursting out in laughter all together. Even Theodore was chuckling embarrassedly, hiding his laughter but his face says it all. He’s laughing at Dark too! “ENOUGH!” Dark slammed his hand on the table again. But fortunately, it didn’t break in two anymore. He stood up, his face as dark at the Northern stormy skies.

Heavy with shit we weren’t saying. I cleared my throat. “Alright. That’s enough depressing hospital talk. You know what would really make my day better?” He glanced at me, brows raised. “A really dumb joke.” Andrew blinked. Then tilted his head a little, lips twitching like he was fighting a smile. “A dumb joke?” I nodded, lips curving around the cigarette still hanging from my mouth. “Come on. Hit me.” He gave me a look—half skeptical, half amused. “Fine. What do you call a sad strawberry?”

His brother fell in love and finally became a comedian? Then Harold sent some jokes. Rhino saw the jokes and said to Calista, "Wanna hear a funny joke?" Calista was looking down and uttered,"Say." Rhino started to crack jokes. " A bear walks into a bar and says, 'Give me a whiskey and … cola.' The bartender looked at the bear and asked, 'Why is there a big pause between whiskey and cola?' The bear shrugged. 'I’m not sure; I was born with them.' " Calista smiled faintly. But her upsetness hadn't decreased even a little. Rhino was disappointed again. He told a few more jokes like this. But still Calista was not smiling. Rhino's rhythm was sweaty. It seemed to him that he was giving a big exam