Really Dark Humor Jokes Novels & Stories

I needed to know I’m not gonna die today. “You already suggested dying,” he jumped over a tree trunk and continued his journey, not staring to the sides for even a second. “Are you kidding me? That was a…was…that was some kind of joke.” “Mine too,” he scoffed. “Dark humor girly huh,” he stopped and stared down at me. “As much as you like dark humor, trust me, you don’t want to be here when it gets dark.” He turned around and walked away, “Better keep up.”

She chuckled and then broke into delighted laughter. He grinned. “You get that I’m joking?” “Well, of course you’re joking. Vomity ones.” She laughed again. “Too funny.” “Most people don’t get my jokes. Say they’re inappropriate.” He finger-quoted inappropriate. “Are they idiots?” “Arguably.” She laughed again. “A woman who gets my jokes…” His pleased little grin turned into a broad smile. “Can I buy you a coffee sometime? Or a jet?” “A jet?” She laughed until her stomach ached and she had to bend over with her hands on both knees to catch her breath. “You’re killing me.”

He scoffed instead of giving me the right answer. He was placing his one hand inside his pocket, gesturing about his classy attitude! He was laughing for sure, but I couldn't feel any purity behind those giggles—his laugh was dark! It looks like he doesn't laugh at all. Oh my goodness, Merry C'mon, grip yourself over this man! I'll cut the nonsense and come to the point. "We'll die if we stay here!" "What?" His dark giggles stopped, and he looked straight into my eyes!

Noah flinched, “Well, let’s look at the bright side… at least he didn’t vaporize himself.” Blackie snorted, “…he can’t vaporize himself any more than you can soothe yourself.” “Oh. Well… at least he didn’t vaporize the water he’d already drunk?” “Yeah, good thing that one finely steamed stomach wasn’t on the menu…” “…Blackie …I realize that black humor fits in well with your name… and personality… but there is such a thing as being too black!” QAQ (≖_≖) “Is that a veiled insult where you tell me that I shouldn’t be myself, Black?”

He put forth, tone defiant. Her head jerked back in disbelief. She was definitely wrong in thinking he could not handle a joke, rather, he was very witty to know how to make it bounce back with a more sophisticated dark humor. "This is a joke, right?" She quickly clarified because no one knew what could be going on in his head and considering his hatred towards her, she shouldn't be too relaxed with that joke of his.

“Jesse, my man, which is why I’m encouraging you to talk some more! It doesn’t have to be about anything life changing. If you were me I’d say crack a joke but I don’t know if you even know any jokes.” “I know jokes.” His face lit up. “Oh yes? Tell me one then.” “Can you guess what the therapist said when I told my therapist I’m scared of dying alone? “Uh, no what?” “He said, “Most people don’t die with the company,” I said, chuckling. “Get it?” Rain looked at Matt. “Matt, am I supposed to laugh at that?” “Ideally someone is supposed to laugh when they tell a joke,” Matt said with a sigh. “Jesse, what have I told you about your morbid jokes?”

My fits of giggles turned into full-blown laughter thanks to my intoxication. Dark humor was just my type. “You are funny,” I said. “But seriously, what happened?” “I take upon boxing as fitness. I recently found out a friend of mine passed away. My emotions got ahead of me.” I frowned and my body slumped. “I am so sorry to hear that.” “Don’t worry,” he said. Feeling bad, I decided to change the topic. I waved down to the waiter and ordered another drink. It was delivered not long after. No wonder he deflected so much and was a bit annoyed when I continued to pry. He lost someone important to him.

She said that and I started dying on the floor, that was probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. "That is the fucking stoner spectrum!! Either you're a fucking Einstein or a fucking retard that tried to play baseball with a robot," I said, laughing through my words, causing Alex to break too, laughing and pointing out how fucked up my sense of humor is, "It's not my fault! Imagine having a fucked up humor before going through the dungeons of hell to become an arch-demon." "Tha-That's fair but still, that's fucked!" "Fuck me, that was funny," I said and the look I got from Alex scared the fuck outta me, she looked hungry but also cautious, "You good?"

I burst out laughing so hard I nearly choked on my soda. Jenna looks deeply unimpressed. “Yeah, real fucking funny,” she mutters, side-eyeing both of us. “Keep laughing, you bunch of soggy mofos. I’ll remember this when you two need someone to body a man for you in public and I’m too busy teaching spin hooks to felons named Big Maria.” Dawn snorts into her drink. “You’d thrive in there, don’t lie.” “Shut up,” Jenna says, but she’s already smiling.

Jeff jokes around and laughs his ass out. “Shut up,” “Shut up!” Both Seid and I yell at his not-so-funny joke.