Really Dark Humor Jokes Novels & Stories

I could literally die if I fuck up more than I’ve been doing…but, I can’t tell him that. “I’m here, okay? No matter what, you have me.” He looks me right in the eye, assuring me tenderly with a smile this time. “But damn, you really do look like shit right now, and when was the last time you used deodorant?” His unconventional joke in my time of sadness makes me break into laughter. It wasn’t funny but it was whatever it was and it makes me laugh. I just needed to laugh. It rolls out of me effortlessly, like everything was with Adam. While I choke on my saliva, he watches me, amused for the duration of my chuckling.

He smiled smugly. "I really don't know what you hope to achieve out of all this, Axel, but I promise you that it's all going to fail. You won't see your evil plan unfold." I told him coldly. My words only made the madman throw back his head and laugh loudly, his voice reverberating throughout the cave. "You're a funny man, too, Logan. Even in the face of death, you still dare to tell jokes. I love a good sense of humor, well done, Logan." He said.

The dark humor was so perfectly Jaxx that I couldn't help but laugh. I burst out laughing, the sound bright against the lingering tension in the room. The absurdity of his grim humor never failed to catch me off guard, to remind me that beneath the violence and the control, there was a man who made me laugh in the darkest moments. Jaxx just shrugged, completely unbothered by his own dark wit, though a small smile played at his lips, softening the hard lines of his face.

After over sixteen-hundred years of living in the dark, I’d sunbathe naked too. “Did you freak Eliza out?” “I did.” He grins. “It was fun.” “Everything is okay at the bar?” I ask, fearing a bit for the answer. The health code violations were fake, but if word got out there were rats at The Taproom, people might not want to go. “Yes,” Lucas says, and I let out a breath of relief. “Luckily, Mondays aren’t busy days for us anyway.” “That’s good to hear.” Lucas smooths my hair back. “We’re still on track for a boring afternoon.”

The man clamped his mouth shut as his eyes flashed defiantely. "Have it your way." Summer said with a shrug pressing the button again, but this time holding it down longer. On either side of her Reggie and Taylor laughed as they watched the man convulse and eventually wet himself. "Look at that Reg!" Taylor laughed pointing. "He pissed himself." "Hilarious." Reggie laughed wiping a tear from his eye. "I suggest you talk buddy, our boss can be ruthless." "Will you talk?" Summer asked. "Wouldn't it better to just go ahead and tell us rather than going through this?"

“It's been one week, man. One week of living in hell.“ Richard whined. “You know what's worse?“ “Tell me.“ “I've not had a release for the past week. The ladies won't let me into their coochie 'cause they think I'm not a real man. Terrible, bro.“ Richard winced. “I've not had a release for ages. It's not as bad as you make it seem.“ Austin said casually, sipping at his coffee. “It is bad, and it's gonna stop tonight. You and I, we'll be hitting a nightclub.“ “Nah. I think I'll pass.“

6 All I could hear was my deep breaths, I had darkness all around me and I couldn’t fathom how I could help myself get through it, the black and white shades were surrounding me and I was finding a way out. Suddenly a manly voice echoed, “hey hot piece,” it travelled across my mind like a bullet, “whassup huh? how’s you doing,” his voice was making me obnoxious, wanting me to get it out through some way but I was unable to throw it out, instead, It grew further.

A childhood visual of the old witch from the library Hansel and Gretel book pops into my head and only increases the giggles I exude. “I hope not, I’m barely grown, and she might add me to tonight’s menu. I’m too big for an oven!” I point out between snorts of stupid laughter and Meadow caves and starts giggling too, lightening our whole mood. I guess the tension and the heavy weight of this journey has us strung out enough, that even a lame joke like this has enough power to break the strings and have us erupt. It’s needed, between us, this bonding over awful jokes.

I hit my head with my palm "stupid, so fucking stupid!" Tears were rushing down my eyes in their torrents. "Are you ok babes?" Kevin rushed up to me with a worried look on her face. I was heaving like a mad woman. She engulfed me in a hug. "I know that he is your man but are you not feeling a little too strongly for his dad?" That was Kevin, always looking for ways to lighten up the mood. Dark humor she always said makes the world go round. But I couldn't even laugh at the joke at this moment since I realized that I was the joke myself. For believing in Darius again and putting my heart on the line.

I needed to know I’m not gonna die today. “You already suggested dying,” he jumped over a tree trunk and continued his journey, not staring to the sides for even a second. “Are you kidding me? That was a…was…that was some kind of joke.” “Mine too,” he scoffed. “Dark humor girly huh,” he stopped and stared down at me. “As much as you like dark humor, trust me, you don’t want to be here when it gets dark.” He turned around and walked away, “Better keep up.”