Tagalog Dad Jokes

When the college admission notice arrived, I suddenly developed a high fever and was bedridden. My sister encountered a kidnapping on her way to help me collect the notice, and her life was uncertain. My parents hated me deeply. After tearing up my admission notice, they forced me to give up my studies and work in a factory. Later, I experienced a kidnapping as well. After narrowly escaping, I hid in an abandoned factory and sent them a message for help. My dad called me and shouted at me without restraint, “Lena, are you even human? How could you play such a joke on us on Jessica's memorial day!” “Do you have any idea how much your mom and I wished it had been you who died back then?” In my last moments before death, their insults echoed in my ears. I was tortured and killed, turned into a monster, and my body was thrown into a stinking ditch for three full days. Even my father, the most experienced forensic expert, couldn’t recognize me. When my sister returned home with the guy she eloped with years ago, my dad had just restored my appearance through technology. They knelt before my decaying corpse and cried until they fainted.

After being left alone, Agent Hana Alijo became ruthless, aloof and unfriendly, she doesn't want to be attached... not until a charismatic and handsome multi-billionaire Clay Smith came and turned her life upside down. *** Hana Alijo A.K.A Lilium is a secret agent from Equilibrium Organization. She is known in her organization as hot and deadly. She's strong and persistent not until she became a personal bodyguard of Clay Smith. The man dared and made her knees weak, made her body numb with no exception. Lilium became coward and helpless when he's around. He tortured her mind and as well as her heart. What she thought was a simple duty turned out to be a complex and dangerous one. How can she fight it when her heart is at stake? The Hana who doesn't want to be with anyone seems to have become vague. She's doomed! Disclaimer: This story is written in combination of Tagalog and English Cover designed by Sheryl S.|SBS

We all have that certain dream that we wanted to achieve. And through planning, we can be a step closer to that dream. But we cannot deny that unexpected things happen which ruining our plans and think that we failed. Just like Cassie. ArtRosesSweetsOne DirectionParisAnd a babyThese are the things Cassidy Mendez are in love with since she experienced a traumatic heart break from her previous relationship. So she planned everything for herself. Find a nice job after graduation, have her baby and finally, go to Paris with the baby. She doesn't care if she's alone. She doesn't need a guy in her life. She's fine with the men in her family and Terrence-her bestfriend whom she had a deal to be in an engagement if they are already thirty, and he still doesn't find a girl he love. But little did Cassidy know, that destiny weaved a different plan for her when she met Zyle.

People hope not to date an abusive partner but wouldn't it be worse when you are already married? She was used, abused and stepped on. All hope was lost and she vowed to only live for the sake of her children, no more hiding in the shadows of others ...Work hard and repay. Meet Eleana Osas, a single mom of two who vowed to get her revenge on her ex husband and shun all men. What will happen when she cross path with the soon to be biggest boss, Shawn Dele, who is handsomely mysterious. Will he be able to untie the knot in her heart or would he make her hate men more? Curious? Then follow up and don't forget to add it to your library. Anticipate!!!!!......... Excerpt: "So you vow to never love, never be with another man? Is this the kind of control he has over you?", Shawn asked feeling waves of emotions; anger, disappointment..... "It's the kind of control I have over my self, I will never, ever submit myself to any man again, never", Eleana replied, gritting her teeth in anger, not directed at Shawn but herself - she only spoke those words because she need him to let her go, else she fall more than she already has..... Seeing as Shawn didn't reply, Eleana walked past him but Shawn was having none of that, he turned around and grab her arms, pulling her closer to him making sure she could feel his breathe on her neck as he whispered mischievously. "Are you so certain you will be the one submitting and not me? Hmmm?". His words rang warning bells in Eleana's head as her legs went wobbly under his teasing and nearness.... Oh god! She swore, when she felt his lips on her earlobe.

"Sino ka para pigilan akong pumasok sa gusaling ito?" sabi nung babae. “Wala kang karapatang pumasok dito, patay ka sa isip ng asawa mo. Ako na ang mahal niya ngayon.” Sagot ng babae. “Babawiin ko ang akin. Hindi ako papayag na kunin mo lahat ng meron ang asawa ko.” Galit na sabi ng babae. Masaya ang mag-asawang Taylor. Isang araw ay nagbakasyon sila sa isang isla kasama ang kanilang magandang anak. Sumakay sila sa yate kasama ang kanilang Yaya. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon bago sila makarating sa isla ay may masamang panahon, bumuhos ang malakas na ulan at humampas ang malalakas na alon. Sinubukan ng mister na iligtas ang kanyang asawa at ang kanyang anak ngunit dahil sa alon ay nabitiwan niya sila. Habang ang kanyang asawa at anak ay agad na tinulungan ng kanilang Yaya. Ngunit dahil sa malalakas na alon ay bumagsak silang dalawa ng kanyang anak. Nahulog ang mag-ina, ngunit kumapit ang babae. Tinulungan siya ng Yaya na bumangon ngunit sinamantala ng kanyang Yaya ang sitwasyon dahil sa kanyang masamang intensyon. Sa halip na ipagpatuloy ang pagtulong sa kanyang amo na asawa, inalis niya ang kamay ng kanyang amo na asawa sa pamamagitan ng paghawak nito sa tubo hanggang sa mawala ito at tuluyang nahulog sa dagat ang mag-ina. Makalipas ang ilang araw, natagpuan ng isang estranghero na mangingisda ang bata na umiiyak. Inakala ng lalaki na nag-iisang anak ang nandoon, kinuha niya ang bata ngunit paglingon niya ay nakita niyang walang malay ang ina ng bata ay nilapitan niya ito at tinulungan. Nang magising ang babae ay wala siyang naalala, hanggang sa naisipan ng dayuhang mangingisda na bigyan siya ng pangalan at sinabing asawa niya ito at anak nila ang bata. Paano niya maipaghihiganti ang kanyang karapatan bilang isang legal na asawa?

As an avid fan of the well - known Filipino singer-songwriter, actor, and model Michael Hugh Perez, Hera Ashley couldn't resists his charm the first time she met him in person. To what extent will she express her love and adoration? What if she's just confused admiration with love? When the table turned, it was only then she realized her true love for her friend Zanjoe.. her blanket, her umbrella and savior. Before she knew it, he was already gone. Is it too late then?

Audrey has a crush on her best friend single father, Mr. Knight from a young age. She didn’t dare to tell him because Knight had always taken her as his daughter because of the huge age gap. At her 18th birthday, she finally had the courage to confess to him but shit hits the fan as she finds him kissing her sister. Feeling betrayed she heads off to college and tries moving on until he comes finding her…and this time he isn't willing to back down.

“It was just one night… Until I saw him again—standing in front of me as my new CEO.” After a painful breakup, all Katalina wanted was to forget. She did what any broken woman would do—she put on a sexy dress, dragged her two best friends to a bar, got drunk, and let herself feel alive again. Just for one night. Just to forget. Pero may ibang plano ang tadhana. She ended up spending one unforgettable night with a mysterious, dangerously handsome stranger. She thought it ended there. Hanggang sa pagpasok niyang muli sa trabaho... Dumating ang bagong CEO ng kompanya—at hindi siya makapaniwala. It was him. The same man from that night. Araw-araw, lalong tumitindi ang tensyon sa pagitan nila. At sa paglipas ng mga buwan, isang shocking na balita ang bumungad kay Katalina—she’s pregnant. Sasabihin ba niya sa lalaking iyon ang totoo? O mananahimik na lang siya at itatago ang sikreto? Isang gabing pagkakamali ba ang lahat ng ito? O ito nga ba ang simula ng isang pag-ibig na hindi nila inaasahan?

My father's adopted daughter was only locked in the cramped storage closet for around fifteen minutes, yet he punished me by tying me up and throwing me inside. He even sealed off the ventilation with towels. "As Wendy's older sister, if you can't take care of her, then you should also experience how scared she was," he declared coldly. He knew I was claustrophobic, but my desperate pleas for mercy, my terror, were met with nothing but heartless reprimands. "Let this be a lesson on how to be a good sister." As the last sliver of light disappeared, swallowed by the oppressive darkness, I struggled helplessly. A week passed before my father finally remembered my existence and decided it was time to end my punishment. "Let's hope this week served as a good lesson for you, Jennifer. If this happens again, you will no longer be allowed in this house." He would never know that I had already taken my last breath in that suffocating room. My body had begun to rot in the darkness.

“K-Kasal ako! H-Hindi ako pwedeng ibenta ng tatay ko! H-Hindi mo gugustohing malaman ang pangalan ng asawa ko dahil malalagot ka!” Pagbabanta pa ni Solene kahit na nauutal na ito. ~ Si Solene Jimenez ay isang twenty-year old College student. Pumapasok ng iba't-ibang part time jobs para tustusan ang pangangailangan ng kanyang pamilya habang nag-aaral sa isang sikat na unibersidad. Ipinakasal siya sa isang bilyonaryo upang tuparin ang hiling ng Mama niya at ng matanda niyang kaibigang mayaman na pakasalan ang apo nito. Ngunit kahit isang beses ay hindi niya pa man din nakikita. Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa buhay niya kapag nagkita sila sa unang pagkakataon? Will the billionaire keep their marriage o hihiwalayan siya nito nang tuluyan?