Tagalog Fish Jokes

It's my fiancé's grandmother's birthday banquet. My father's adoptive daughter suddenly snatches the gift I've prepared and says loudly, "My adoptive sister is so rude. "She tried to take the gift I prepared for Mrs. Scott Senior and play it off as her own. I'll have my father teach her a lesson when we get home later." The guests start to whisper among themselves and criticize me. In the past, I would've fled. I would never have dared to retaliate. Unfortunately for her, I've been reborn. I swipe the gift from her and throw it onto the floor. "When has my family turned into something for you to brag about? You mentioned having your father teach me a lesson, right? He's just been released from jail after being there for a decade due to theft. Are you going to bring him here?"

My mother was the most renowned forensic artist, yet she refused to acknowledge me as her daughter. On my eighteenth birthday, I was kidnapped and called her for help. However, my mother replied impatiently, "Today is Angelina's birthday. Just die if you want attention that badly." Later, all the bones in my body were shattered and scattered everywhere. When my mother reconstructed my face from the bones, she lost her mind.

My husband, Xylo Green, fell in love with the locust tree in our yard. At night, he would wrap his arms around it and kiss it. One day, my dad decided to plant vegetables in the yard, so he cut the tree down. The tree died in the morning, and by midnight, our whole family was gone. Suddenly, I was reincarnated to the day when Xylo was passionately chasing after me. He looked at me lovingly and said, “Olivia, can I be yours?” I smiled flatly. I did not want him anymore, but I would definitely take his life!

As I washed my wife's underthings, I discovered semen stains. It had been over two months since I last did it with Winona Sundown. She always looked down on me for not lasting long and being as boring as a dead fish. I silently accepted her criticism and mockery. That was until I saw a stranger messaging Winona with a hotel room number. The hotel just so happened to be my workplace, Pinnacle Hotel. The room number was 8102. I camped by the room, waiting to catch my prey. However, the woman at the door was a young and sensual woman. Unbeknownst to me, I had fallen into Winona's trap long ago...

I sustain brain damage from a car crash and end up with a memory akin to a goldfish. However, I remember my feelings for Caleb Warner for seven whole years. Things change when he abandons me on a mountain top after losing a bet with someone. He sneers and says, "Write this in your journal, Sadie. Consider it a lesson learned." It's wintertime, and it's freezing on top of the mountain. I almost die there. I later destroy everything that has to do with Caleb and allow my memories of him to disappear from my mind. … One night, someone by the name of Caleb Warner calls me. My boyfriend jealously pulls me close and asks, "Who's this?" I shake my head dazedly. "I don't know." The person on the other end of the line loses it when he hears my answer.

My brother and childhood sweetheart both fall in love with my adopted sister who is about to marry someplace afar in my stead. One of them has forgotten about me, and the other has broken his vow to always be by my side. To win back Mona Pierce—who has learned the truth—they join forces to push me down the stairs on my birthday. I lose all hope in them and agree to the arranged marriage. Five days later, I leave the Greer family for good. Yet, after my departure, they regret everything.

On our fifth anniversary, my fiance, Caleb Alton, mixed up gifts meant for me and someone else. When he pulled out a set of lingerie, he looked flustered and explained that the store had sent the wrong item. The next day, I saw a video posted on social media by his junior colleague, Mia Lawson. The caption read, “He said that old lady of his is out of shape, but I look the sexiest in this.” In the video, she was wearing the same lingerie and lounging seductively in Caleb’s arms. I glanced at the engagement ring identical to the one Caleb wore and decided to call my boss. “Hello, Mr. Farrington. I’ve made up my mind. I can start at the branch office next week.”

Charles Jansen's true love returns to the country in my seventh year with him. The first post on her social media after she lands is an intimate photo of them together. She captions it, "I'm glad we've come full circle." Only then do I find out the ring hidden in the living room isn't for me. Charles' proposal isn't for me, either. Suddenly, I feel exhausted.

She's perfect. Kind, beautiful, and hardworking. Scholar din siya sa isang prehistisyosong unibersidad na kilala bilang paaralan ng mga mayayaman. Marami ang nagkakahumaling sa kaniya, pero dahil sa mahirap siya, ay nalalait siya. Because a girl like her shouldn't be studying in a school na hindi ka level ng kaniyang estado sa buhay. Ilang beses at halos araw-araw na siyang binubully, pero dahil sa pangarap na gusto niyang maabot, nagtiis siya. But never did she knows na hindi lang iyon ang pagdadaanan niya. Isang araw, dumating ang SSC council president at nakita ang SSC secretary na pasimuno sa pambubully kay Hailey. Pinaglaban nito si Hailey at sinibak sa pwesto ang mapangahas na bully. Hindi lang 'yun, pinag drop out din sa school due to violence. Lubos ang galit ng mga bully kay Hailey. Dahil kay Hailey napasibak sila at napahiya. Kaya naman, sinet up nila si Hailey at ibenenta sa isang grupo sa bar. She was raped. Hindi niya alam kung sino. Hanggang sa isang hindi inaasahan na pangyayari, nasangkot siya sa isang situwasyon kung saan muntikan na niyang ikamatay. And someone happened to save her. She owed her life to him. But this man wants her as the collateral. Gusto siya nitong maging role play girlfriend nito para lang mapatigil ang ina nito sa kaka appoint ng mga babae. Pero papaano kung malaman niya na ang lalaking ito ay ang rapist niya pala no'ng gabing binenta siya at ng mismong ama ng kaniyang dinadala? Magagawa pa ba niyang mapatawad ito?

HIRE A WIFE BUT DON'T FALL IN LOVE! Ang isang tambay na kagaya ni Kassidy ay walang matino na pinag-aralan. Nakatira sila sa isang skwater kasama ang nanay niya na sugarol. Kadalasan ay nasa kalsada siya at nakikilaro sa mga ka-tambay niya na naging kaibigan niya na rin. Unlike the other girls, she dressed like a man. Malaki ang shirt, malaki ang short at may sombrero palagi. Mahilig siya kumain ng lollipop at masayahin siyang Babae kahit sa kabila ng pamumuhay nila. Parati siyang ipinapahamak ng ina niya sa iba't-ibang trabaho na ikinakainis niya, subalit gano'n man ang ina niya ay mahal niya ito at parating pinagbibigyan. Takot na baka magkautang na naman sila. Ngunit, papaano kaya kung ipasok siya ng nanay niya sa isang corporation na hindi niya alam? At isang araw ay may isang lalake na gusto siyang e-hire bilang asawa nito at wala siyang kaalam-alam sa klase ng trabaho na tatahakin niya? Mapapahiyaw nalang siguro siya sa inis lalo na kung malalaman niyang guwapo at appealing ang makakasama niya at magiging asawa pa niya talaga for 3 months! Kaya kaya nitong tunawin ang boyish niyang puso, at mapa-ibig sa ka-guwapohang charms nito?