Teks Stand Up Comedy Lucu Bikin Ngakak

'You're mine alone...,' Leo whispered, his breath fanning my earlobes and giving me goosebumps, but I couldn't ignore the wetness between my legs as he called my name in the most sensual and commanding way, 'Lexi!!' *** Lexi Gabe is forced into going in a contract marriage with Leonardo Morano, the ruthless Don of the Morano crime family in a bid to avoid marrying Luca Morano, Leonardo's cousin and rival. As Lexi surrenders to Leo's protection, their arrangement evolves from duty to desire. But there's something else: a one night stand she's had before the marriage leads to her getting pregnant to a mysterious masked stranger. Who is this stranger? And what about Leo? How would he take this news? Will the stranger show up? Then comes... A secret.. A secret neither Leo nor Lexi could handle.. A Life-threatening Secret.

Anggoro yang berwajah sangat tampan adalah seorang pemimpin geng gagak yaitu geng mafia yang cukup banyak anggotanya, Anggoro juga sangat terkenal kejam dan sadis terhadap musuh-musuhnya hingga ditakuti oleh geng lainya. Anggoro juga tak segan-segan menghabisi satu keluarga dari ketua geng rivalnya itu, tiba-tiba terdengar suara bayi menangis dari dalam kamar, Anggoro juga tidak segan-segan ingin menghabisi bayi tersebut. Karena melihat wajah bayi itu yang sangat lucu dan polos hati Anggoro pun tersentuh, saat Anggoro menarik pelatuk senjata apinya Anggoro tak sanggup melakukannya dan meninggalkannya. Saat dia beranjak pergi Anggoro selalu memikirkan bayi tersebut pada akhirnya Anggoro kembali lagi untuk mengambil dan merawat bayi itu disitulah kehidupan Anggoro berubah.

"Be my bride… or I’ll be your groom?" Sabi ng matatanda, kapag sinukat mo ang isang wedding gown nang hindi para sa ’yo, hindi ka makakapag-asawa. Akala ni Azura pamahiin lang iyon hanggang sa araw na pinaglaitan siya ng tadhana. Nakita niya lamang ang sarili nakidnap at dinala sa simbahan habang suot-suot ang wedding gown na sinukat lang naman niya at dinadala sa harap ng altar. At ang groom? Nakangising demonyo habang tutok ang baril sa kanyang sentido, pilit siyang pinapa-"I do." Doon niya napagtantong hindi ito ordinaryong lalaki. She accidentally married a mafia boss— a cunning, cold, breathtakingly handsome alpha, and dangerously untouchable. Pero paano paninindigan ni Azura ang pagiging asawa ng isang lalaking ubod ng sungit, laging ipinapaalala sa kanyang papel lang ang kasal nila, at tila ba ayaw siyang bigyan ng puwang kahit sa puso? At paano siya lalayo kung simula’t sapul… lihim na pala niya itong minahal? Sa gitna ng panganib, pagtataksil, at isang nakalipas na kinalimutan ng lalaki—may paraan pa ba para kumawala si Azura sa kamay ng mafia boss? O matagal na pala siyang bihag hindi sa baril… kundi sa pagmamahal? Language: Taglish

[𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 1] Xianelle Hearter Daza was in love to a man she never expect to easily fall in love with her. They're opposite to each other. She came from the wealthy family with the strict and dominant that’s why there relationship was secret. She love him the most that’s why she even give herself on him without hesitation. The next day, after they shared the memorable night. He didn’t show himself to her. She even lost communication for a month. Until one day she discover that her boyfriend got her pregnant! Money. Fame and businesses is valuable to her parents. Her father believe that she's carrying the child of shameless guy and disgrace to the family. She still had a choice to save her child. And that is to be with the father of her baby. But she never expect that her boyfriend will say; “Abort it, Xianelle. If you value that kid more than the good life you had, well, I’m not that stupid as you are. I’m not going to choose you and your kid over my family reputation.” —Klint Axis Salvador. Ngunit paano kung sa muli nilang pagkikita alokin siya nito ng malaking halaga kapalit ng isang supling na babae. Is she can forever hide Alizardior Klinton Axis “AKAS” Salvador Pendilton’s unwanted son?

Paano mo ipaglalaban ang pagmamahal na minsan mo nang sinukuan? Lucky swore she’d never look back. Matapos ang isang mapait na hiwalayan, pinili niyang bumuo ng tahimik na buhay kasama ang anak niya—malayo kay Axel, ang lalaking minsan niyang minahal, pero siya ring dahilan ng pinakamalaking sakit niya. Pero sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, muling nagkrus ang landas nila, at ngayon, hindi na lang puso niya ang nakataya—pati na rin ang buhay nilang mag-ina. Sa kabila ng galit at sakit, napilitan siyang tanggapin ang proteksyon ni Axel. Pero paano kung sa bawat araw na kasama niya ito, unti-unting mabura ang poot at bumalik ang damdaming pilit niyang nilabanan? Lalo na nang matuklasan niyang hindi pala siya kailanman iniwan nito—sa lihim na paraan, Axel had been protecting her all along. Ngunit bago pa niya mas maunawaan ang lahat, isang trahedya ang muling yumanig sa buhay niya—isang pagkakamali, isang maling akala, at isang pagdukot na naglagay sa kanya sa bingit ng kamatayan. At sa gitna ng panganib, nakita niya ang isang Axel na handang isakripisyo ang lahat, kahit ang sariling buhay, para mailigtas siya. Ngayon, hawak niya ang pinakamahalagang tanong—bibitawan ba niya ulit ang lalaking hindi kailanman bumitaw sa kanya? Sa isang mundo ng lihim, galit, at pagsubok, kaya pa ba nilang ipaglaban ang pag-ibig na minsan nang nawala? O masyado nang huli ang lahat?

" No one wants to kiss chubby cheeks or sleep with a girl covered in rugs," Vince smiled as the corners of his mouth went up in a smirk. " Now get off your high horse and stop fantasizing about my perfect chest," he growled. My name is Perez, but the bullies call me Fatrez because I'm fat, not that I like being fat, their is nothing I can change about it, unless the angels decided to work out a miracle. But everything that has a beginning has an end, I could do the bullying, not that I can't. But the head of bullies is sinfully handsome, he leads as they follow. Always throwing the first comment before the rest come along. Even if he is sinfully handsome, I could never dream of me with him, the fact that am fat, call it obesity and dumb in class with extra front teeth. No one wants such a girl. Even if I was a boy I wouldn't date me. Why would he look at me twice without laughing so hard and crumbling down. The best I can do is disappear and never come back or kill myself to stop the bullies from finding other victims, they would probably die of guilt, that's my plan. But Vince is such an arrogant jerk, he could never crack, let alone feel guilty. I've got to stay alive to pay back, make his life miserable, perhaps I'll sleep at night satisfied that he is suffering because of me. But maybe the bully isn't strong like I thought, is his heart made of stone or it's all a mask to fool the world and make him feel better. His heart bleeds after all and I can injure it.

I wake up one day to find that I've become the power bank of the whole dorm. When the percentage shown above my dorm mates' heads is low, they'll be tired, angry, and ill-tempered. My job is to help them recharge via all sorts of physical contact. If I don't do my part, my grumpy dorm mates will force me to charge them up anyway…

Raphael Angelo is a businessman and a part of an underground organization. He hates being trampled, so when he meets the carefree and hardworking Thamara, he is enraged by what she did to him. He wants revenge, but what if his revengeful self is lost? Will he be able to stop his admiration for the maiden? Or just continue his revenge?

Ava Sinclair died pregnant, betrayed by the two people she trusted most, her husband and her best friend. When she opens her eyes again, she’s twenty six again and back in the moment before her life fell apart. This time, she refuses to walk into the same trap. She rejects marrying her boyfriend Luca and opted for an arranged marriage with Damien Moretti Ava knows Damien isn’t marrying her for love. He’s marrying her because it’s his duty , He warns her not to expect affection from him but she told him she'll make him fall in love with her. He laughed it off. But the more he pushes her away, the more Damien starts to crumble, revealing a possessive, caring man. “You don’t have to love me,” Ava said to him softly, but I'll love you. And when the truth behind her past life’s betrayal resurfaces, Ava realizes fate isn’t done with her yet… and neither is her marriage to Damien Moretti.

Imagine the worst female softball team you ever saw, triple it, and you've got Darci Bloom's baseball team. Darci's got a lot to handle this season. She's ended up in a team full of nonathletic misfits. She's got a huge crush on the girl making a documentary about the team. She's got a difficult dad. Now a crazy Russian couple shows their interest in coaching her team. Will this bunch of weirdos going to blast into her life and change it forever? Will they fall apart or can they win the unexpected?