Teks Stand Up Comedy Lucu Bikin Ngakak

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓!!!  “Are you sure about this, Love? Wala na ‘tong atrasan once na pumayag ka na angkinin kita.” - Zach Feitan Huxley “Y-yes, Love. Please make love to me like it's going to be our last night.” - Levana Heididea Lambrix Susulitin ko na lang ang mga sandaling ito na kasama siya dahil baka ito na rin ang huli. Kung magkita man kami ng hindi inaasahan, maaaring hindi niya ako makilala o kung makilala man niya ako, sigurado ako na matinding galit niya ang sasalubong sa akin. Handa naman akong tanggapin ‘yun.  Wala siyang kaalam-alam na ako tao na matagal na niyang pinaghahanap, ang taong nagtangka na tapusin ang buhay ng uncle niya noon at ako pa rin ang taong kikitil sa buhay ng nag-iisang pamilya niya ngayon. Kapag nalaman niya ito, panigurado na kamumuhian niya ako.  ┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅ Si Levana o Ashen Veil ay nagkaroon ng mission na tapusin ang isang politician, ngunit nagkaroon ng aberya dahil hindi ito napuruhan. Nakatakas ito at itinago ng pamangkin nito. Nang malaman ni Levana kung sino ang pamangkin ni Danilo, agad siya nagsagawa ng plano. Nag-apply siya bilang secretary nito at natanggap naman. Sa hindi inaasahan, nahulog ang loob nila sa isa't-isa pero kahit minahal ni Levana ang binata, priority niya pa rin na tapusin ang buhay ng nag-iisang pamilya ng lalaking pinakamamahal dahil ito ang mission niya at maglalaho na lang na parang bula.  Magagawa nga ba niya takasan ang lalaking minamahal at obsess sa kanya? Paano kung magbunga ang kanilang pagmamahalan?  Ano nga ba ang mas mangingibabaw, mission o pag-ibig?

Synopsis: Sherry Francelia ay isang babaeng tumatakbo mula sa isang impyernong hindi niya pinili—isang mundo ng dugo, kasinungalingan, at kapangyarihan. Sa desperasyon, gumawa siya ng isang mapanganib na desisyon: ang lokohin ang isang lalaking mas mapanganib kaysa sa sinumang humahabol sa kanya. Si Levim Devereux ay isang kilalang mafia boss—malamig, walang puso, at walang sinasanto. Ngunit sa kabila ng kanyang bangis, may isang bagay siyang hindi inasahan: isang babae na walang takot na pumapasok sa kanyang mundo at ginugulo ang kanyang plano. Ang kanilang ugnayan ay nagsimula sa isang kasinungalingan—isang delikadong laro ng panlilinlang at kapangyarihan. Ngunit habang lalong lumalalim ang kanilang koneksyon, nagiging malinaw na may mas malaking pwersang gumagalaw sa kanilang paligid. Nang bumalik ang multo ng nakaraan, napagtanto ni Sherry na walang makatakas sa mundong pilit niyang tinatakasan—lalo na kung ang lalaking dati niyang niloko ay siya na ring kinatatakutan niyang mawala. Sa pagitan ng pagnanasa at panganib, pagtataksil at katotohanan—sino ang unang bibigay? At sa isang mundo kung saan ang tiwala ay isang bagay na maaaring pumatay, paano mo malalaman kung sino ang tunay mong kakampi?

Ang buong akala ni Serene ay pang-habang buhay na ang relasyon nila ni Zach. Everything was well-planned for them. They just had to wait until they're married but now she knows that's impossible because to her surprise—he cheated, and the worst part? Zach got the woman pregnant. Sinong mag-aakala na lolokohin siya nito? Napaka-sweet, caring, at talaga namang loyal nito sakaniya, kahit ata may maghubad sa harap nito ay lalampasan lang niya. Akala niya kilalang kilala na niya ito, nagkamali pala siya. Sabi nga nila, Cheating is a choice not a mistake! Dahil hindi ba niya kaya ibigay ang pagkababae niya rito kaya nagawa nitong sumakmal ng iba? Then everything started falling apart when she ended up having a one-night stand with Zach's uncle who she had never met before... the wild and oh-so yummy, Alastair Sage.

Blurb All she wanted was a drink to escape the reality of life, but she ended up in bed with her supposed mafia husband, and now she’s the only woman in his thoughts. On her engagement day, she found out that the man, whom she once had a drunken one-night stand with, is her supposed husband, and now, she’s very unwilling to go ahead with the wedding, but there’s nothing she can do to escape her marriage with the ruthless man, especially when her family is solely involved in their marriage. Lorenzo De’ Russo's, a very powerful mafia boss, finds himself entangled with a woman after a one-night of   pleasurable moments. Now he’s willing to do anything to get that woman, even if it means becoming a member of her family.

Ziva, seorang dokter muda yang selalu tampil glamor dan penuh gaya, maniak kebersihan dan disiplin, bahkan debu 1 inci saja langsung jadi sasaran tangan seribu Ziva. Namun segalanya berubah kacau saat dia dijodohkan dengan Reza, pria tampan tapi super santai, pecinta tidur siang, dan punya kucing galak bernama Binggo. Hidup glamor yang ia bayangkan berubah jadi petualangan absurd penuh cucian menumpuk, piring kotor, remote TV yang selalu rebutan, dan tisu berserakan. Alih-alih cinta yang menggelora, pernikahan mereka penuh drama kocak, pertengkaran receh, dan kejutan-kejutan lucu yang bikin mereka mempertanyakan: "Ini beneran kehidupan pernikahan?!" Di antara gaya hidup bertabrakan, dua karakter yang bertolak belakang itu justru perlahan mulai memahami makna cinta yang nyata—bukan yang didandani bunga dan lilin, tapi yang dibungkus kompromi dan kejujuran.

The college student I had a passionate night with at the hotel turned out to be the intern I was supposed to mentor. On his first day at the company, he pulled me into the break room and wrapped his arms around my waist. "You have such a slender waist. That night, I never expected you to be that fervent..."

Sonnet Turner agreed to get married in her foster sister’s place to rescue her foster father. Everyone thought that Sonnet’s future was ruined as she married a fool when she already had two children.Unlike everyone’s expectations, Sonnet soon appeared in the social circle of wealthy young women in Harbor City. Among Harbor City’s Big Four, whom all the wealthy young women of Harbor City fancied, one of them was in charge of driving Sonnet around, one of them was in charge of helping Sonnet lift her skirt when she went down the stairs, and the other two of them worked as her bodyguards. The wealthy young women of Harbor City were all beyond jealous. Sonnet’s foster sister showed up and said, “Sonnet Turner, so what if you’re that capable? You still married a fool!” “Who said I’m a fool?” A man wrapped his arms around Sonnet’s waist. The group of wealthy people behind him treated him extremely courteously. Sonnet was shocked. Since when had her silly husband become a rich, cool, and handsome boss?!

"If you don't want to be my wife, then be ready to be my mistress. I will bury myself so deep inside you that your screams will echo in this whole mansion till everyone, including you, knows who you belong to." ~~~~~ An accident shattered Alessia Rossi’s life, in ways she never imagined. Just as she starts from scratch, her destroyer returns. Nikolai De Moretti. The Mafia King. Her nightmare. Alessia is his addiction, his obsession, his forbidden fruit. He craves her like a moth to a flame, envious of even the air that touches her. He burns her world to ashes until she has nowhere to run… except into his arms. But Alessia is no longer the naïve girl he destroyed. She returns to him with vengeance burning in her veins. Will she still see Nikolai as an enemy when she discovers the truth, which will break her in ways he never could? When passion ignites, and tempers clash, buried secrets begin to unfold, and the war between Obsession and Revenge begins… ~~~~ Warning: Dark Romance with steamy scenes, 18+ content, slight bdsm, comedy, and lots of love. Move ahead at your own risk.

"You, my dear, will be going to help us to decide that. You will pick a king." "Say what now?" "I'm not going to repeat it since I know that you have heard me." "Fine! You want me to decide?! Nate!" I pointed to prince Nathaniel, if I remember correctly. He was slightly taken aback and a confused expression was replaced. "Do you want to be a king?" "I...uh...Yes?" He said. Unsure of his answer. It made me wonder if the expression on my face had forced him to say yes. "Good. Then you'll be the king. "What!? But that's not how you decide it!" PRINCE Ace said. "Fine! You're all kings. In fact, we ALL can be kings!!" **** She's Rosalie Amber Stan. A simple teenage girl, who made a wish to have a more adventurous life, was a victim of an abduction by the Fae queen to a different realm. She was brought to a castle with 5 supernatural princes, who are fighting for the throne. The queen gave her a task to be the one to choose the future heir to their kingdom. Little did she know that the queen only wanted one thing from her and the princes: Romance. Between a sparkly wizard, a rude obnoxious elf, a flirty vampire, and a couple of twin trouble making wolf princes; Is there really a right choice? And why is there a wolf spirit, who suddenly awakened upon sensing her arrival, kept stalking her? A romantic-comedy in 'another world' with a quirky-temperamental female heroine learning the culture of this new fantasy world.

“You were about to cum in me.” I said and sat up. That’s when I felt a stinging pain across my ear as my hand caressed my face, then the realization hit me— he had slapped me, Lee had just slapped me. #Sex. Lies. Money. Power. ••• Jessie, after finding out her fiance had married another woman, decides to have a one-night stand with his uncle, only to find herself married to him. But despite being married to his uncle, she was still attracted to him, so she started secretly seeing him. Well, the uncle wasn't willing to give her up now, not after he vowed to always be by her side; now she had two men fighting for her. And the woman her ex-fiance married wasn't just going to give up on him. Will Jessie realize old flames can never be and live a peaceful life with her new billionaire husband, or will her ex Jade succeed in winning her back?