tell me a filipino joke

ivamus consequat iFusce fermentum, lacus non dignissim rhoncus, magna velit laoreet diam, et varius nulla ipsum non lectus. Etiam in rutrum urna. Mauris id magna in arcu sollicitudin ornare. Etiam iaculis ligula nec ligula lacinia dapibus. Nulla pulvinar, nisl in scelerisque tincidunt, eros lectus maximus mauris, id finibus odio risus quis eros. Fusce dictum consequat lacus ac tincidunt. Vestibulum viverra vulputate velit, nec ultrices metus placerat eleifend. Praesent facilisis massa ac commodo mollis. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Nam aliquet odio dolor, quis hendrerit felis consectetur eu. Maecenas quis sapien nec justo pulvinar lobortis sit amet in quam. Praesent dictum gravida semper. Ut sapien metus, congue eget fringilla quis, egestas hendrerit urna.

“Waking up in your man's arms fulfills a need far more than sex every could. It's the best thing ever.” — Madel David

Hope Carter is a quiet, good-natured journalist who lives with her sister, Julie. They have lived together and alone for many years, Hope always does her best to help her sister. Her life is turned upside down when she has the opportunity to interview one of the country's biggest criminals, Castiel Reed. But, something goes wrong, and she finds herself in a big mess, she will have to be the person she never thought she would be to protect her lovely sister tooth and nail.

Paano niya ipaaalam sa itinuring niyang ama- amahan na si Don Demetrio na ang nakabuntis sa kanya ay ang nagiisang anak nito na si Duncan Sylvanno? He got her pregnant! her stepbrother got her pregnant!.

Entah apa yang Ica rasakan ketika kakak dari sahabatnya melamar dirinya. Haruskah ia senang, sedih atau bagaimana? Bahkan untuk berkatapun ia tak mampu. Dan hal yang tidak pernah Ica duga sekarang datang. Seseorang kembali dengan membawa janji dan harapan untuknya. Di saat ia di hadapkan dengan dua pilihan. Bisakan Ica memilih satu di antaranya atau mungkin ia tak sanggup untuk menjatuhkan pilihan pada keduanya? Ikuti cerita untuk kelanjutannya. Terimakasih.

Landon Mikaelson knew he made a terrible mistake when he let his wife out the door and out of his life permanently. It was supposed to be an arranged marriage between the both of them. A deal to act like a married couple for a year and a half but circumstances began to pave way for mutual feelings he didn't want. So he divorced her and let her go which turned his life around for the worse but something takes him to her door and making him plead for a second chance,a secret kept by her that changed their lives forever. What is it??. Well find out yourself.

Pertemanan yang Malik jalin bersama Isha semenjak mereka masih anak-anak berujung permusuhan karena sebuah kesalahpahaman. Satu sama lain saling menjauh. Apalagi ketika suatu ketika Malik mengatakan bahwa dia memang mencintai Isha, sehingga Isha marah dan menuduh Malik mengkhianati persahabatan mereka dengan membiarkan perasaan cintanya berkembang untuk Isha. Malik yang pasrah hanya bisa mencintai dalam diam dan putus asa ketika mendengar Isha akan dipersunting oleh laki-laki lain. Namun, sepertinya takdir sedang mempermainkan mereka ketika Malik justru mengajukan diri untuk menggantikan posisi Murad, laki-laki yang hendak menikahi Isha tetapi justru tidak hadir pada hari yang dijanjikan. Bagaimana Isha mengambil sikap? Apakah dia menerima uluran tangan Malik untuk menyelamatkan nama baiknya dan menerima pernikahan itu? Atau memilih menolak dengan banyaknya konsekuensi yang harus ditanggungnya? Jika memang Isha membenci Malik, mengapa dia membenci semua perempuan yang dekat dan mendekati Malik?

Serenity Knight is a human working in the royal infirmary. After getting abused by her Uncle for years, Serenity had been waiting for a knight in shining armor to come and rescue her. What happens when the knight in shining armor is none other than the Alpha King Theodore Black, the one who rules the entire world? What happens when he gets mated to a human girl, the species he hates? Serenity Knight never expected to get mated to the King of the all the Alphas of her country. And on top of that, Serenity never expected Theodore to reject her after mating with her. But what happens when Serenity gets pregnant with the Alpha King's child? What happens when Serenity is the only cure for the curse with no cure? _________ “Whatever……whatever happened last night, human, it wasn't done by me. I was not in my control. It was my wolf. My wolf got distracted by you last night but it doesn't mean you will become my Queen. I won't disgrace myself by letting a human sit beside me on the throne." His words were piercing my heart, breaking me into pieces. “You and I mated……” “It was a mistake! You were a mistake! And I don't repeat my mistakes, human. Get dressed and leave.” He ordered lowly, and tears filled my eyes as I stared at him in disbelief. “Theo, what……” “Your Highness. I am your King. You will refer me with my title if you don't wish to face the death penalty." Alpha King said, his eyes burning with rage. “We are mates, Alpha……” “And I reject you." He said, his eyes holding no emotions. “Wha….what?” “I, Alpha King, Theodore Black, reject you, Serenity Knight. You are no longer my mate.”

Pretty girls wear dresses. I wear hoodies and secrets. Like the fact that I sleep with my best friend’s brother—for money. No one can know. Not Macey, my best friend. Not Audrey, his girlfriend. I’m Samantha, and I’m not the kind of girl you bring home. But I’m the one he keeps coming back to.

After being viciously rejected by her mate, Eve's world is flipped upside down, and she is forced to leave behind her pack, family, and the only home she has ever known. Fearful of the world and irreparably shattered, she will regain her power with the assistance of a mystery warrior who lives alone in the woods. Will she be able to endure her agony? Will she be able to let go of the past? Follow Eve's journey through love, sorrow, and everything in between.