Theatrical Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

“If I choose the job, I obviously can’t go back to my mom, though?” It took her few seconds before she sighed. “Yeah, it makes sense. Sorry, I got it from p*******t and thought it was a cool quote.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. But failed miserably as she made an eye contact with me. I cracked up to the point she throws the sofa cushion right onto my face. “Shut up.” “It’s a cool quote, though.” “Fuck off.”

“This is not funny. This is idiotic.” Al Pacino retorts with, “He’s a tight ass! And you got your head ALL the way UP it!” JP laughs again. Even Dominique smiles. “Would you stop that?” Grant barks. “Sit down! Shut up! You understand?” Grant puts his face in his hands. “Can I do my thing now?” I ask nicely. Grant waves me along with one hand without looking at me. Sure. Go ahead. I navigate to the correct page, the one where Mailin and I used to do our dueling celebrity quote battles, and hack into a private channel enabled with sound.

"Do you know why they are all laughing?" Arthur inquired because he finds nothing amusing. He sees no obvious reason why everyone is laughing while he is left in the dark. "YOU WILL BE HELL OF A THIEF FOR STEALING MY HEART FROM ACROSS THE ROAD." The man who had just approached the lady uttered from the movie theater screen. The entire audience burst out laughing once more, but Arthur did not. To him, the joke fell flat.

"For. For a presentation. It's. Very dramatic. Material." Long pause. "Okay. If you're sure." "Positive. Thank you. Sorry for the noise." Footsteps retreated. Faded. We looked at each other. Still frozen. Still connected. Then. Started laughing. Couldn't help it. "Rehearsing?" I giggled. "Best I could do on short notice." "Very dramatic material?" "It's not wrong." I laughed harder. He joined. Both of us. Ridiculous. Happy. "You think this is funny?" he asked.

She shushed loudly, snatching the bowl of popcorn from me again. “Okay, I’m bored!” Lucas groaned. “Shh!” Thea and I shushed him together. Ugh! People! “What is so great about this movie anyway?” Lucas frowned at the screen. “Hello? Do you have eyes or what?” I raised an eyebrow at him. His such a dumb nut! “If hotness were a crime, this fucking movie would be the most wanted criminal!” Thea sighed as she looked at the screen. “How can so many hot guys agree to work in the same movie just to tease the female population of the world?” She asked no one in particular.

he stammered. I shook my head and replied sarcastically, "No, I'm still sleeping. What's with all this nonsense performance? You came to visit a sick, almost dying man and yet you're acting out a scene. Are you nuts?" Marvin dragged a chair closer and said, "You know, I really like that phrase, 'sick, almost dying man.'" He laughed, and Tiny joined in, adding, "I never knew Brother Axel was such a great actor." Their lighthearted banter momentarily lightened the mood before Tony suggested, "How about you join the entertainment industry? It would bring you a whole lot of money, you know, with that pretty face of yours," he chuckled.

“Of course. I once farted on stage during a Shakespeare play. Live audience. Full cast. Mics on.” I gasp. “You did not.” “Hamlet never recovered.” I break. Full-on wheeze-laugh. Heads turn and one old woman places her hand on her heart as if a person laughing is the most outrageous thing she has ever heard. I try to calm down, but the deadpan look on Dante’s face only makes everything a hundred times funnier. “I’m sorry...” I’m trying so hard not to smile. “I’m just...give me a minute.”

"Tut, tut…" Theo grinned and pointed at Helen as he laughed, shaking his head. "Just look at this, everyone! What an amazing couple act, getting into character so tacitly! You really disappoint me, Helen Lane—I thought you were smart and successful, only for you to play along with this prick's crude acting. How embarrassing." While Theo's mocking drew another chorus of laughter from the crowd, Gene snapped furiously over Frank's phone again. "Who are you?!" "Who am I?"

We found our seats, nestled together in the plush velvet chairs, and the lights dimmed, signaling the start of the show. The actors took the stage, and the story unfolded before our eyes. The humor and wit of the dialogue lifted our spirits, and we laughed together, our laughter blending with the rest of the audience. It felt liberating to let go, even for a few hours, and simply enjoy the moment.

Still, as long as I or a body part don’t end up in a trophy case, this might seem as funny to me as it has to Lucy and Shannon. Eventually. “This is not funny, and I am not joking!” Thankfully or unfortunately, whichever works, ‘Jonathan’ chooses that moment to launch himself on a squirrel thinking it’s a bat. “DIE DEMON,” his sharp accented declaration is likely heard by the people in the lobby, it’s so loud. Not to mention every other person doing their best to avoid the lunatic as they walk through the thirty by thirty swing doors.