Theatrical Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

"So speaking about couches the other day I read an interesting article—" "Come on, move to something funny, not this crap to try and win over a dumped fat bitch," shouted, a woman from the audience." The vibrant atmosphere became dead-silent with a few murmurs of disapproving voices travelling through the air of the theatre. Dread hit my stomach, followed by a wave of embarrassment. Although her words stung, I was not going to let a stranger ruin my evening, but once the woman was revealed on the screen, I became numb—it was Amber.

"Et tu, Brute?" The tall, handsome actor portraying Julius Caesar uttered this famous Shakespeare line and then collapsed onto the floor of the stage. Fake blood began to pool around the "dead" body. The curtain closed and it was intermission. My friend Cheryl turned to me and asked, "So Mark, was it worth the trip?" I smiled. "Yeah, it was worth the trip. It's a good show."

But dammit the shit was funny … Asher didn’t get it but Aspen was falling off the chair laughing. So Em said: “F. O. T. C. L.” “Oh god don’t spell.” Mickey complained who was also well past the point of buzzed and headed to drunk. She rubbed her temples with her fingers as if she was trying to stave off a headache. “PLASTERED.” Em ticked and shook her head. “CRYING!!” Aspen said, still laughing. Em got to laughing too and so did Sylvia. Asher was still confused and Rainn was just smiling.

Athena POV “I used to think my life was a tragedy, but now I realize, it’s a comedy”. That famous quote from the Joker runs through my head over and over, as my clothes are absolutely drenched in slimy red and yellow gunk. Only, in my case, it’s still a tragedy. I fail to see the comedy part in all of this.

Just… lightness. Inside, the theater smelled of buttered popcorn and caramel sweets. We found seats near the middle, and as the lights dimmed, I felt the baby give a tiny kick, almost as if joining in on the fun. Ellen nudged me gently when the male lead did something clumsy and charming, and we both laughed quietly. I was glad I agreed to come with her. When the credits rolled, Ellen turned to me, her eyes twinkling. “See? Didn’t I tell you? Laughter heals.”

Suddenly, Theobald burst into laughter as if he had heard the funniest joke in history. "Why are you laughing?" Lucas looked at Theobald indifferently. Theobald stopped laughing and looked at Lucas with disdain. "Why are you laughing?" "You're just an ant who is arrogant. How dare you ask me why I'm laughing now?" Everyone under the arena couldn't help laughing, thinking that what Lucas had said was indeed a little funny. "Do you really believe your eyes?" Lucas looked at Theobald. Theobald was stunned. He naturally didn't understand what Lucas meant.

“It’s fine.” I let out a groan and lean back slightly. “Goddamn it, why is it always the quiet ones?” Behind me, Nathan lets out a snort and Mason chuckles under his breath, both of them far too amused for my liking. “What’s so funny?” she asks, glancing between them with a furrowed brow. “Oh, nothing,” Mason says with a grin, “just that Theo here has a bit of a reputation. Finds pain… motivational.” Nathan hums his agreement. “Some guys get squeamish. Theo gets excited.”

“Oh, I’m really curious to hear that explanation.” Opening and closing my mouth repeatedly, my throat failing me as I don’t even manage to push out a raspy sound. “That is too much to process all at once, Theo. You should really slow down and order your thoughts before you speak.” I push out another sob in desperation before I freeze, looking up to see him grin down at me. “Did you just make a joke? In such a situation?” I bark at him, and he laughs. “Not so funny if it’s someone else being an idiot, is it?”

He mocked Philip, “My dear nephew, what now? Ten minutes have passed. Where are your cash delivery trucks? Where’s the 1.6 billion dollars in cash? Hahaha!” Immediately after, the surrounding directors also spoke sarcastically, “I'm laughing my ass off. It's really fun to watch this drama at night.” “Yes, even though I’m an old man now, I can still watch such funny things happening. I’ll remember this for the rest of my life. Maybe I can even live longer from laughing at this.” “Philip, where’s your convoy? We’ve waited for ten minutes.” The crowd laughed at Philip’s ignorance.

“The way he described how… eh… great she was?” I see realization dawn on Brock. His wide-eyed gaze slides between Theo and I, and then he does something he rarely does- he throws back his head and laughs. “No fucking way,” Brock chokes, cracking up alongside Reid and Gray. “Oh yeah, it’s just hilarious,” Theo says with a deep eye roll, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He takes a long pull of his beer, swallowing as he points the bottle toward our three friends who can’t contain their laughter. “You guys wouldn’t find this so funny if you had sisters.”