Titanic Jokes Novels & Stories

he said. She opened the carton of pizza. Sausage and cheese slices with pepperoni tasted spicy on their tongues. She brought out her iPad and watched Titanic on N*****x. The pale, snow-white face of Rose and the browner complexion of Jack in his worn clothes appeared on the screen with subtitles. When the movie ended, and the closing credits played accompanied by the sorrowful song, Zara began crying; the droplets of tears cascaded down her cheeks. “It’s okay, crybaby,” Nat said, hugging her. A mocking, bewildered smile touched his lips as he wondered why a common film could make a person cry.

But the card is not done yet. I continue reading. Remember when you honored THE GUY by becoming his girlfriend? Go to the place you were waiting for me ... the place where I had to think about an ugly dude naked to sink my boat because you looked so damn sexy. And suddenly, the Titanic comment he once made pops into my brain. The one about mentally picturing someone ugly and naked to … deflate the situation. The memory hits me so hard I burst out laughing. Not cute giggling. Full-on, bend-over-and-grab-the-limo-for-support laughing.

natatawang sabi ni Nathan. Napabuntong-hininga si Thalia at sa wakas, tumawa na rin. "Ang corny mo, Nathan." "Ayos lang, basta tumawa ka," sagot nito, ngayon ay mas kampante na ang tono. "Teka, gusto mo pa ng isa pang joke? Para lang sure na nawala na ang inis mo." "Sige nga, subukan mo," hamon ni Thalia. Sumeryoso saglit si Nathan, kunwari’y iniisip nang mabuti ang joke niya. "Ano ang sinabi ng isda sa pader?"

Kallan asked this time. "I’m not a fucking baby. Let Titan have some adventure before we retire. I’m not going to die in this battle, and if I do, at least I’ll die a hero and not on a damn bed." He chuckled, but there was a fucking silence after that. "Don’t you fucking use that joke on Katarina when you call her later. Because I swear, I will be the one to kill you if she ends up more upset." "I know, man. Just relax. I got this."

We looked back and Jenny wasn't around. "We're going to die, you know that right?" Benny asked me. "I'm sure I'll be a vampire tomorrow." I replied. "A zombie..." He said "A zombie prostitute!" We both spoke together and started laughing. It was an inside joke in our group, some years ago I listened to a song called Zombie prostitute by Voltaire with a very funny clip, so always when we said we were going to die, the joke was: come back as a zombie prostitute. I wiped the tears that were running from the corner of my eyes and walked to my bed.

“I don’t mind, you can always hold onto me like a life raft, call me Jack,” A smile formed on my lips, he was making reference to a corny movie that had the humans all crying over. The boy has been dumb to die for a woman that never would have been hid to own. “Are you planning to kill us?” I asked. “What?” he yelled. “How did you jump to that conclusion?” “You talked about Jack, from the Titanic… you do know that he died, don’t you?” The bike screeched to a stop and my head smacked hard against his shoulder. I winced, my hand reaching out to touch the tender spot.

VIKTOR'S POV “What?!” Alan blurted out, looking from Titan’s murderous glare to my icy stare. He quickly cleared his throat, his tanned face turning a distinct shade of grey. “I am joking,” he said, his voice a bit lower than it was before. “It was merely a jest…to um, lighten the... the very heavy mood.” “Do not let your tongue outrun your senses like that again, Alan,” Titan warned, his voice a low vibration that made the horses skittish.

He looked at me. “No shit?” I laughed at him. “They sink ships and all that stuff. Do you think a ship could sail in this place? I mean really, do you have to look around to answer that question?” Suddenly Kai busted out laughing. He smacked his leg. “I was just pulling your leg man. Someone has got to lighten the mood around here.” I shook my head at him.

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.

“Nobody here really stood up for her that day and I’m sure she still remembers that. But I’ll do my best for her to also remember that we were a family once, and family fucks up from time to time too.” I gave him a nod before placing my hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, man. I know I can always count on you.” He scoffs. “Don’t get sappy on me now, it’s gross.” “Hold kjeft (shut up)!” And we both laughed. “Uh, I’m glad to see you both get on the same boat, but you forgot one iceberg here, Titanic.” Elura spoke up, cutting mine and Zane’s moment. “What?” We both turned to her curious.