Novel & Cerita Will Never Be Enough

It’s strange, having everything I ever wanted—and realizing it’s not enough. Not in a greedy way. I’m not trying to climb higher or grab more. But there’s this low burn inside me, this nagging voice that won’t shut up, even now. Especially now. A part of me that can’t just sit still and say, “I made it,” because I know there are too many people out there like me—kids scraping to survive, waiting for a hand that may never come.

She was leaning against the doorframe, frail, but her eyes held nothing but disappointment. The weight of it crushed me. “I just wanted to be yours,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “I just wanted to be enough.” But I was never enough.

It almost looked like someone had painted it. "Have you ever felt… lacking?" Hank asked. I glanced at his side and nodded. "I did everything," he continued. "I became someone I never wanted to be. I stretched my capabilities, pushed my limits… and yet, why do I still feel lacking?" I shook my head. "You're not lacking; it's just that…" I hesitated, inhaling slowly, knowing I was about to say the words I’d been avoiding for months. "…we will never be enough for them."

Cannon mind link and I thought about that too "No, it's not possible! If I try to do it I will be vulnerable for the man to hurt me, I can't focus on anything else than trying to fight him and keep away from his dark magic and save us! He is too powerful and I can't master my gift!" I tell them through the mind link, no one says a word for a long time and we all stand there and look at the barrier when it gets overrun by the black for every passing minute.

I was never enough. For my father, for my siblings, for my clan, I was never enough. And no matter how hard I work, how many plans I make for the future, the constant reminder of how unwanted I am never stops looming over my head. My heart feels like it will burst out of my chest, it's beating so painfully hard.

My chest hurt, not from the exertion, but from the weight of the words tearing out of me. “Am I just a tool to you? Something to use and toss aside when you’re done?!” Even after hearing she planned to leave… I still love her. I still would have done anything for her. But it felt like none of it mattered. Nothing I gave her was ever what she wanted. I lunged again, slamming a metal target to the ground. Sweat dripped down my face, my breaths harsh and uneven. Why do I always feel like I’ll never be enough? Why does it feel like no matter how much I give, it will never be what she needs?

Most especially with secrets growing heavier every day. “She’s always been like this.” I admitted quietly yet Matteo didn’t interrupt. So I continued. “Nothing is ever enough.” The words escaped before I could stop them. “Good grades.” “Not enough.” “Scholarships.” “Not enough.” My throat tightened. “Being responsible.” I swallowed hard. “Still not enough.” For a moment neither of us spoke, then Matteo said something that nearly broke me. “Maybe the problem isn’t you.” I looked at him and immediately because nobody had ever said that before.

The words tumbled out of me before I could stop them. “In the past, I never doubted myself this much,” I admitted quietly. “I always knew what I wanted, and I went for it. But now…” I swallowed, staring down into my glass. “Now, I can’t stop thinking about whether I’ll ever actually win this fight. Whether I’ll ever get my life back. And it’s not just about me. I keep thinking about my family, about what they might be going through because of me. If I had never gotten involved with Conrad, maybe they’d be happier. Maybe they’d be living normal, fulfilling lives right now.” My fingers tightened around my glass. “Sometimes, I wonder if I’m just… not enough.”

I just know it,’ Jinx whimpers. The ache in my heart matches the ache in my soul, both longing for validation and acceptance. I've spent my life trying to prove myself, to be enough for others, but it appears that regardless of what I do, it's never sufficient. The constant battle to measure up to society's standards has left me exhausted and broken, questioning whether I will ever find the strength to rise above this overwhelming feeling of inadequacy.

I have always done my best, but for what? Her eyes narrowed, her voice dripping with malice. "Your best? It's never enough, Alondra. Perhaps the reality you should be questioning is that your step sisters are more than you? Why are they better than you.Why they don't have to put in the effort to be more perfect than you. Perhaps the reality or avoiding Alondra is that you are forever going to be never Enough. Perhaps you should reflect on that."