Yo Mama Jokes

Celebrating your birthday means you acknowledge your existence as a human here on earth. But what if your special day in life turns into nightmare that haunts you forever? What would you do? Kimberly Jade Quesada loves to celebrate her birthday every year eversince she was a child. Lahat halos ng gusto niyang regalo ay nakukuha niya magmula sa mga damit, gadgets at kahit na ang presensya ng kanyang mga magulang na abala sa trabaho ay nagagawa siyang paglaanan ng oras sa kanyang kaarawan. Ito ang petsa na palagi niyang inaabangan kada taon kung saan nakukuha niya ang lahat at nararamdaman niya ang pagmamahal ng mga taong nakapalibot sa kanya. Pero paano kung ang mismong petsa na minamahal-mahal niya ay unti-unting maglaho at mapalitan ng pagkamuhi at pagkasuklam? Anong gagawin niya? "No matter how many times we argue, I still think that you are the best and will always be the greatest mom here on earth," saad ko kasabay ng pagdausdos ng luha sa gilid ng mga mata ko. "Open your eyes for me, Hyacinth. Mama, hayaan mo naman akong makabawi sayo," pakiusap ko pa habang nakayapos sa malamig at nababahiran ng dugo niyang katawan. She loves to celebrate birthdays not until binawi ng langit ang dalawang regalong ibinigay sa kanya.

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.

“He is my weakness; I am his.” “Hatred lives in the heart of the wounded and broken soul. Acceptance mends it.” In the world of beast, where justice is voiceless, and life is meaningless, Leona fight for her life and her freedom. Let the truth be heard. Accused of a crime she did not commit, Leona was forced to leave her pack and seek sanctuary in another world where she only heard from her Mama Thelma’s story, the world where her kind exists, the humans. But living a peaceful life seems very elusive for her. She found herself entangled with a man she only met with the agreement her Mommy Rose concerted. Running away from her past, Leona must face again the beast she despises now kindles her heart. To build the future, the past must be settled.

Dyara menepi dari jalan yang dia lalui, sambil menyusuri gang kecil menuju rumahnya. Air mata Dyara turun tanpa bisa dicegah ketika mengingat ayahnya meninggalkan dunia ini setelah menikahkan dirinya dengan seseorang yang tidak dia cintai sama sekali. Sambil menyusut air yang mengalir semakin deras dimatanya. Kini Dyara tidak memiliki penguat hatinya lagi. Mamanya sudah tidak peduli lagi dengannya, kesibukan Mama dengan teman-teman arisannya banyak menyita waktu. Dyara sendiri harus bisa memenuhi kebutuhan hidupnya tanpa bergantung pada suaminya. Sekarangpun suaminya entah dimana. Mungkin ini yang ingin disampaikan almarhum ayahnya agar Dyara tidak menerima lamaran Arsya. Namun ibu Dyara kukuh ingin anaknya menikah dengan Arsya. Dyara menghentikan langkahnya ketika sudah sampai dirumah kontrakannya. Sambil menunduk sedih, Dyara mengambil air dingin dikulkas. Tenggorokannya sudah terlalu kering, apalagi tadi sepanjang jalan sambil menangis membuatnya semakin merasa haus. Dyara ingin sekali ke makam ayahnya mengadu tentang kesedihannya. Mertua yang diharapkan bisa menjadi pengganti orangtuanyapun tidak bisa dijadikan tempat bersandar. Dyara menghela nafasnya pelan, ingatannya kembali pada masa sebelum ayahnya tiada. Beliau sosok yang patut diteladani, sayang pada anak-anaknya dan bertanggungjawab penuh pada keluarganya. Sosok yang selalu dinantikan kepulangannya, tempat mengadu dan berkeluh kesah.

Seakan takdir tak mau membuatnya bahagia, perintah sang Mama itu pun membuatnya kembali ketakutan. Nampak sekali bahwa sepasang mata bulat itu ingin menangis.

"Sekarang mau disini wanita jalang !! , aku harap, akan membusuk disini dan jadi mainan para lelaki hidung belang",ucap Andrew. "Tega, aku ini istri mu andrew!?!?",lirih Kalista. "Hahahaha .... tega !!, lucu sekali aku mendengar kalimat itu, Kalista ",ujar Andrew sambil mencengkram leher jenjang kalista yang putih. "Tolong, lepaskan aku Andrew !!",mohon Kalista dengan terus memegang lehernya yang masih di cengkram oleh Andrew. "Memohon-lah terus kalau bisa, jilat tapak sepatu ku ini kalista.Tapi tidak aku tak akan membiarkan mu hidup sama seperti kedua orang tua mu yang dungu itu !, Ooops ",ungkap Andrew secara tidak sengaja. "Apa maksud mu Andrew??!", Kamu apa-kan orang tua ku??", Tanya Kalista. Kalista adalah gadis kaya raya yang menjadi rebutan banyak pria dan termasuk Andrew. Andrew adalah sesorang yang mengambil segala nya dari kalista dan termasuk keperawanany. Sehingga kalista menjadi gila dan meninggalkan kekasihnya yaitu Robert. Perpisahan itu dan pertemuan kembali ketika Robert menemukan kalista menjadi salah satu pelayan di bar yang di miliki. Hingga akhirnya mereka kembali menjalin kasih dan menikah. Dengan segala upaya dari Robert, Kalista membalas semua perbuatan Andrew dan keluarganya yaitu mama-nya dan ternyata mama Andrew adalah mama angkat-nya

Isang maunawain, masipag, malambing at mabait na asawa si Janine, kaya naman nakatagpo rin siya nang isang responsableng lalaki si Rigor. Masaya ang buhay mag-asawa nila, kahit na tila hindi tanggap ng kanyang ina si Rigor, ganun rin naman ang mama ni Rigor sa kanya. Ngunit hindi iyon naging hadlang sa pagbuo nila ng masayang pamilya. Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan ay makakagawa ng matinding kasalanan si Rigor iyon ay ang nagawa niyang pagtaksilan ang kanyang asawa. Magawa kayang patawarin ni Janine si Rigor para sa buo at masayang pamilya nila o tuluyan niyang kalimutan ito at baguhin ang sarili. Paano sa pagbabago niya ay muling may dumating na bagong lalaki sa buhay niya. Sino ang pipiliin niya ang lalaking minahal niya noon at winasak ang puso niya o ang lalaking muling nagparamdam ng pagmamahal sa kanya?. "Gusto ko nang makakausap, pero wala akong makausap." "Gusto kong umiyak, pero wala akong maiyakan." "Gusto kong umalis, pero wala akong mapupuntahan." "I need a comfort but nobody's care. I want to run to leave the problem. But the world was so cruel. My grief seems endless." -Janine Mhae Santos-

“Paano kapag Ang taong Gusto mo at Mahal mo ay nakatakdang Ikasal sa taong Hindi niya Gusto. Mapapayagan mo ba Ito? Magagawan mo ba ng paraan? kapag ang Mahal mong Tao ay Humiling sa'yo ng Isang bagay na kaylanma'y Hindi Basta-basta Ibinibigay Lalo na kapag Ito'y Hindi mo kayang panindigan? Would you still grab the Chance to have The one you Love By Taking His/Her Virginity?” Ating Tunghayan Ang buhay Pag-Ibig nang dalawang taong Nag-aalangan sa bawat Isa ngunit sa Huli Hindi matatakasan Ang tinatawag nilang "Pagmamahal na Hindi matatawaran."

Bela, seorang gadis yang bekerja sebagai preman di pasar bertemu dengan Leon yang menawarinya kerja sama untuk menyingkirkan mama tiri Leon yang jahat. Mereka menikah agar mama tiri Leon gagal menjodohkan Leon dengan hadis suruhannya dengan tujuan untuk menguasai harta warisan dari papanya Leon. Perlahan Bela mulai mencintai Leon, tapi kehadiran gadis yang disukai oleh Leon membuatnya harus mundur. Bela pun pergi tanpa tahu kalau dirinya sedang hamil.

Caution: This Books Has Mature Content! “Mama…” I called her by a different name, wanting to touch her, but she flinched and moved away like I was some kind of devil— Though I am. “I promise I will protect you, love you, cherish your whole being. I will never make you sad again. I will stand by you in anything you do. Can you believe me and allow me to be your guardian?” I ask with caution in my voice. She scoffed, “Guardian? Don't you think that word is too heavy for you?!” She looked up angrily and my breathing couldn't help but quicken, her eyes were swollen and red, her eyes looked at me with disgust and anger. She continues, through the mind link, “Why is everything so against me?! Why does everything hate me so much? Got rejected by my mate whom I love so much, My parents got locked up, and I don't even know if they are alive, got banished, I faced ambush and lost my voice!” Her thoughts were going haywire, she was getting more agitated which is bad. I didn't know she had faced all this. I will surely kill them all! I tried to hug her but she pushed me away, then stood up as she looked at me with anger, her finger pointing at me, with her body just covered with a piece of cloth I had worn for her after she fell asleep after the deed yesterday. “You saved me, I was so thankful, but—” She stopped and swallowed hard and looked at me bitterly as she shook her head. ******************** Read The Story Of The Mute Alina and The Northern Alpha, Kennedy.