You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

“Let's make a deal.” He said, his fingers tracing down my neck, sending shivers down my spine. “I'll help you get revenge, but on one condition.” “W–what?” I stuttered, blush creeping in as he smirked. “Your soul.” He whispered, his eyes glowing eerily under the moonlight. “It's mine.” **** Being rejected by her mate in front of everyone, on the night of her anniversary, Anna thought the worst had come, but she was wrong. So very wrong. That same night, he had introduced his wife, the official Luna to the pack, and that was the final snap. Without a second thought, she had fled only to meet her mate. Everyone thought she was crazy, but what they didn't know was that a few years later, she would return. With a thirst for revenge and a son. Their goal? Claim the pack.

Inabutan ko na mag-isa at abalang nagsusulat ang guro na nakahuli ng atensyon ko. Hinila ko ang necktie niya atsaka nilapit ang mukha niya sa mukha ko. Bigla ko siyang hinalikan sa labi… matamis iyon ang una kong naisip. “What do you think you're doing, Ms. Faunteen?! Get out in my office!” “Marking my special toy, Mr. Dereux.” Kumindat ako na siyang lalong ikinausok ng matangos niyang ilong. Tumayo siya at binuhat ako palabas ng pinto ng office niya. Pagkatapos ay marahas niya akong pinagsarhan ng pinto. Shit! Bakit ganun?! Ako ang nang-aakit pero bakit parang ako pa ang naakit? How dare him ignore and blatantly reject my near Aphrodite-beauty?!

On my fifth birthday with Zachary Murdock, I sit once again in front of a full table of cold food, just like every year before. Zachary had promised, as always, to spend the day with me. And, as always, he breaks that promise. This year, it's because his childhood sweetheart wanted to shoot a set of "artistic photos". She invited him and a few of his close buddies to be part of it. Without hesitation, he ditches me again and runs straight into her arms. At 11:00 pm, his childhood sweetheart posts a photo to her social media and sets it so that only I can see it. In the picture, four men are in nothing but black briefs and Windsor-knotted ties. They kneel around her while she is draped in sheer fabric like a goddess. The caption reads, "Some people beg for crumbs, but I own the entire bakery." I take a screenshot. Then, I send it to the girlfriends of all three of Zachary’s best buddies. If they all look down on me this much, let's hope they don't end up on their knees begging me someday.

When she was framed that she cheated on her mate, her pleas fell on deaf ears and to top it all she found out that she was betrayed and deceived by her best friend before she died. Now Scarlet is back, the moon goddess has given her a second chance to live. she has returned to take vengeance on the people who hurt and betrayed her. follow the journey of the Reborn mate as she takes the path of vengeance.

True is an ex assassin,Joe, Josephine is an actress,with a secret disorder,which makes her want to live the life of her characters. True's grandad might not make it quarter way through the new year,and requests one thing from True. That he gets himself a girlfriend. Will True be able to find someone he can truly relate to and can Joe find solace somewhere and learn her who she really is? Can they both work together,pretending to be a couple and get the one thing they both need from the world. Can they both find freedom?

Pangarap ni Christian ang maisama ang kanyang pamilya sa lahat ng kanyang tagumpay sa buhay. Gayundin naman ang nais ni Arris na kahit pag-aasawa pa ang kahilingan ng mga ito. Lahat ng ito ay nakatatak sa puso't isipan nila nine months ago. Hanggang sa nagkatagpo ang kanilang landas dahil sa isang failed blind date! Sa kanyang sinapupunan ay may isang bata na ang hindi kumpirmado kung sino ang ama. Paano ito nangyari? Sino nga kaya ang tunay na ama?

This is BOOK 1 for the TRILOGY: The Devil, the Mercenary & the SaintNicholai swear not to love again. His life was on auto pilot after Amanda, her first love died. Then faith played with him one crazy night, he met Cassie, a young beautiful angelic innocent girl. Now, he is in battle whether to keep his promise to his first love or break it to be with a woman he can't keep his hands and mind off with. He created a wall to guard his heart but then he met her. They were united by one crazy night, can they stop from falling to each other. Both can't take their mind from each other, both can't deny the attraction they have. Can they stay together when the past holds him hostage? This is a roller coaster story will give you one hell of a ride. When can he finally stake his claim and say angel you're mine.Book 1: Angel you're MineBook 2: Save MeBook 3: Broken Vows

Austin Monticillo had all luxury in life. Money, fame, power, perfect family and of course, women he constantly changes depending to his moods. He is a total womanizer. Alam niya iyon, matapos makapag-graduate ay agad niyang pinamahalaan ang kanilang kompanya. But, out of nowhere, ay may isang Georgina Czsharina Abejuela ang maghahabol sa kaniya dahil naanakan daw niya ang pinsan nito. He fucking don't know about it, hindi niya kilala ang sinasabi nitong pinsan, at mas lalong wala sa taste niya ang babae. Dahil sa isang kasunduan, ay inalok ni Austin ang babaeng si Georgina ng pera para matahimik ito, pero hindi 'yon tinanggap nito, she refuses the money. "Trabaho! Iyon ang kailangan ko!" that word makes his heart rolled out of beat. Dahil ang totoo, nagugustuhan niya ang pagiging arisgada, bulyawera at pagiging matapang nito. He even admires her dahil tumayo itong ina sa batang inabandona ng pinsan niya. Naging single-parent ito sa bata, he didn't saw it coming na magkakaroon pala siya ng bagong figure, at 'yon ay ang maging ama sa batang napamahal na rin sa kaniya. Magiging perfect pa rin kaya ang pagiging daddy figure niya kung may isang epal na darating para balikan si Georgina Czsharina? Sino ito? Ito ang businessman model boyfriend nito na muntikan nang maging fiancé ni Czsharina, si Garret. Mayaman din ito, mas gwapo sa kaniya at hindi hamak na may kinabukasan si Czsharina rito. What would he do to claim her as his? May magagawa ba ang gaya niyang Austin Monticillo lang?

On the day of my wedding anniversary, I was cleaning my house when I found a picture album. As it turned out, my husband had been religiously taking pictures with the girl of his dreams every year on this precise date. He had been doing it since he was forty years old and he was now sixty years old. His hair had progressed from a jet black to a faded white and yet, he kept up the tradition. There was a written message in his handwriting at the back of the picture that read, “Eternal Love.” Since he doesn't love me, I will no longer bother washing his clothes and cooking for him. I will no longer care for his children and grandchildren. I may have foolishly wasted half of my life, but it was not too late to make a change.

Umaasa si Pauleen na kahit isang beses lang. Makakasalamuha siya ng isang kalahi ni Adan after being tore down by her bastard college boyfriend na ipinalit siya sa babaeng Donsol sa Architectural Department. Humahanga na siya sa mga Blue Warrior pero mas lalong nadagdagan ang paghanga niya sa FVC members. Kaya nang makilala niya si Beverly Hernandez-ang babaeng nagdala sa kanya sa naturang lugar. Tuluyang nakamit ang isang pangarap niya sa buhay. Doon niya nakilala ang antipatiko at hambog na si Bruce Bergman. Naglaho ang fascination niya dito lalo na ng palagi siya nitong binabara dahilan kung bakit tumubo ang iritasyon niya sa binatilyo. Ano kaya ang mangyayari kapag itong dalawa ang palaging nasasangkot sa walang humpay na bangayan?