You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

Who would show up? When are they going to appear? What do they desire? Maya Asher has just turned twenty three in the year 2023... Thomas Roman was reborn in the year 1919. He become a watchful vampire guardian. He had been Maya Asher 's guardian since the moment of her birth, watching from between realities. Trying to remain unnoticed but bound by a blood oath. Their love wil be tested from the moment of that electrifying touch...that magical kiss...

Si Crisanta ay may matagal ng pangarap na maging isang sikat na news writer kaya naman madalas siyang tumambay sa opisina ng kanyang ninong na hepe ng pulisya sa kanilang bayan upang makasagap ng scoop or balita. Dito niya unang nakita ang gwapo at makisig na pulis na si Sergeant Alexander Ricarfort, pangalan pa lang ang kisig na. Tinamaan ka agad siya ng palaso ni kupido lalo na ng masalat niya kung gaano "katambok" at "katigas" ang abs nito. Gumawa siya ng paraan para mapalapit sa binata at ng makakuha na rin siya ng magandang article para sa kanilang newspaper. ayun nga lang mukhang lagi siyang inaalat, dahil sa tuwing mag lalapit sila ni Alex ay kung ano-ano namang kapalpakan ang nagagawa niya na lalong ikinainis ng binata sa kanya. Paano pa kaya siya magugustuhan ni Alex kung lahat ng gusto nito sa isang babae ay wala sa kanya? idagdag pa na meron na pala itong "babe". Wala na nga kayang pag-asa ang mapagmahal na puso ni Cris para sa makisig nating pulis?

Tara isn't your everyday beauty shit she wasn't a size 0 runway model, she was curvey thick and flawless nonetheless. It took her years to see that in herself after going through the ups and downs of being tossed through the foster system she had all but lost her faith in herself. This is why she chooses to become an advocate for foster kids like her. When she first launched her UFCP program she had only one private supporter. Now here she was at a huge charity banquet representing her program publicly and the program would now be recognized nationally. It was like a dream come true especially when she runs into the investor who happens to be an old friend from the foster system who was in the same house as her. Giovanni Berlusconi, he had glowed up since she last saw him all those years ago and he apparently felt the same about her. The only problem was he was a mafia king pin and Tara might have known much about the mob, but she sure as hell knew she wanted no parts of it. Especially after two of her colleagues end up dead in a mysterious car crash after questioning Gio's family connections to the recent spike in missing persons cases in the city. Tara had tried to blow him off politely but Gio wasn't having it. Stopping by her office unannounced. Tara was desperate to avoid the mob boss at all cost that is until she accidentally stumbles on to a private family meeting and witnesses him killing someone. Now she has only two choices marry the very man she fears or die.

Mia Thomson, an eighteen-year-old high school student, is heartbroken when she learns her longtime boyfriend has fallen for her best friend. Overwhelmed, she collapses and is rushed to the hospital. There, she unexpectedly encounters Shawn Mandez, the CEO of Beats Corporation, who urgently needs a spouse. Despite her predicament, Mia decides to help him out, only to be swiftly served divorced by him immediately after they finish signing their marriage certificate: “I’ll have my personal assistant send you the divorce papers," the CEO, who was not a man of many words, uttered coldly. Right at this moment, a sleek black Maybach pulled up in front of them. Without sparing the girl as little as a second glance, the demi-god stepped into the luxurious car and it soon disappeared out of sight. Mia was stunned.

"There should be rules if we are even going to do this," he said without looking at me. "I have always lived by the rules." He slid a file towards me. "This is the contract. The rules are stated there." I opened the file and glanced through it. "You can take it home and study them; give me feedback tomorrow evening. But I will read out the rules for you now because they start now, and in case your brain can't comprehend them, then I can explain." Anger seethed through me, and I almost threw the file back at him, but when I thought about the money involved and how it would benefit little Sophie, I bit my lower lip to push back the anger. He continued. "Rule number one; don't you fall in love with me." His eyes flipped up to me. "Crystal clear," I said. "That would never happen." Ellen never had fun in college. One night she decided to have fun with her friends and slept with a handsome stranger who disappeared before she woke up. A month later, she found out she was pregnant and searched everywhere for him, but to no avail. Five years later, she moved to a new city and met the same man she never thought she would ever see again. He didn't remember anything about her, and he was now a cold, arrogant man who needed a wife, and she needed money. They agreed to contract marriage with strict rules, one of them being never to fall in love with each other. They were sure they wouldn't break the rule, but as sparks grew between them and became too much, they found themselves trying hard to keep to the rules. Who will break rule number one between them?

Samantha Collins is a wild and rebellous rodeo girl, the daughter of Kevin Collins, the famous bronc and bull rider. She has spent her entire adult life traveling from Rodeo to Rodeo with her best friend and team mate Danielle Morgan, banking their earnings so that they can buy out her Father and take over the family's horse training and breeding facility. When she decides to attend the Red River Cattle Company's three day rodeo weekend, her father worries but sends her on her way.Alexander Bennett is the eldest of the four Bennett brothers, and the future Alpha of the Red River pack. He is in charge of the security and safety of the packs and, for only the second year in a row, the humans allowed to attend the rodeo. When his father, Alpha Michael, receives a registration for a Samantha Collins, he becomes increasingly anxious about her arrival. He places Alex in charge of her safety, and increases the patrols. He refuses to explain why, and simply attributes it to having humans at the rodeo.After running into the Bennett brothers, and having an accident at the camping site when she first arrives, Sam and Dani are into a world of werewolves, and secrets. Will Alex be able to keep her safe when she herself doesn't even know exactly what is going on? When a stranger appears at the rodeo, and Sam's past is revealed, can the pack's future be saved?

WARNING: Mature Content... ‼️‼️‼️ ISANG balikbayan si Elorda Manalastas, ang may long-time boyfriend for 5 years at in-long distance relationship. Pero gumuho ang lahat nang magpakasal bigla ang boyfriend sa kapatid niya na mas bata sa kanya. Ngunit, maiiba bigla ang kanyang kapalaran. Nabuntis siya at nagpakasal sa isang bilyonaryo na hindi nalalaman ng kanyang buong pamilya. ------- "WHO the f^ck are you!" Malakas na mura ni Jav, nasa isang kuwarto siya at katabi ang isang babae. Bumalikwas ng bangon si Elorda nang makarinig siya ng malakas na sigaw. Nanlalaki ang kanyang mga mata nang makitang hub^'t hub^d siya at katabi ang isang lalaki. "I-Ikaw? G*go ka!" Mariin siyang napatiim, umigkas ang isang kamay niya at dumapo ang palad sa pisngi ng lalaking estranghero. Natigagal si Jav at napahawak sa kanyang pisngi na sinampal ng babae. "P^t*ngna mo rin! Ako pa minura mo... ikaw, na kumuha sa v^irginity ko. 35 years kong iningatan ang katawan ko... ang puri ko. G^go ka!" Mga bulyaw ni Elorda, unti-unti nang naglaglagan isa-isa ang butil ng kanyang mga luha.

In the darkness of the night, a 26-year-old fashion designer counters the murder of an innocent woman in the city of love. She is confronted with the most horrific scenario by the biggest mafia in France, which gets her in trouble. Daniel Richman, 28, is MI6 agent assigned to find the head of French mafia gang leader Tiago Pablo. However, he is backstabbed by someone he must investigate, he meets a mysterious woman named Rania. She doubts him yet at the same time is attracted to the English man and cannot stop thinking about him. Daniel is drawn to the lady and he finds himself drawn to her within these short hours, and before he knows it, he's in love with her. What will happen when the night is over? Will they stay together or will they part ways like strangers do?

It was just a one night mistake but turned into a lifetime imprisonment. Allanna and Giel’s agreement is to be married for convenience with a written contract and their signatures on it. Will Allanna be able to act along with Giel for the sake of the contract, or will her feelings grow for him?

[R] Restricted [Under 18 requires accompanying parents or adults guardian.] Kenaikan jabatan Nur menjadi kabar baik bagi anak dan istrinya. Tetapi sejak saat itu, masalah dan ancaman tidak pernah berhenti. Bisakah Nur mengatasi semua itu disaat dia menyaksikan keluarganya berantakan? Apakah dia mampu menyelamatkan keluarganya disaat nyawanya sendiri terancam?