You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

A king crab in the company's storage is about to die. In order to prevent the company from suffering a loss, I decided to buy it at the price of 480 dollars and treat my friends to a nice feast. The next day, my boss, Mitchell Wright, calls me to his office. "Ms. Langford, it's true that the net price of a king crab is 480 dollars. But the company has a rule that states that if an employee buys the company's products, they still have to pay according to the selling price." While I'm quite displeased, I still transfer an additional 400 dollars to the company's bank account. But Mitchell raises his voice at me. "Stop being a smartass! The selling price of a king crab is 88 thousand dollars, not 880 dollars!" I do my best to refute. "But we give all of our customers a 99% discount! Surely you can't force me to spend 88 thousand dollars on a crab!" Mitchell just chuckles icily in return. "Rules are rules! While customers are always right, you're nothing but a corporate slave! What makes you think you deserve to receive the same treatment as the customers? "If you refuse to pay the selling price for the crab, then don't blame me for being ruthless!" As I watch Mitchell, who keeps yelling at me with spittle flying everywhere, I find myself filled with an eerie sense of calm. I hope that Mitchell will still be able to chuckle when he finds out that my dad is the biggest seafood supplier.

ว่ากันว่าอัลฟ่าและโอเมก้าต่างดึงดูดกันด้วยกลิ่นฟีโรโมน แต่ทว่าโชคชะตากลับเล่นตลก เมื่อพวกเขาต่างดึงดูดกันด้วยโรคประหลาดที่ต่างฝ่ายต่างพึ่งพากัน แยกขาดจากกันไม่ได้

Just a hug. You're running away. Gets stuck in some trouble. A guy saves your life. Who also happens to be a really famous singer. Now, What if you hug him instead of taking an autograph? What if you both feel the spark? What if you get scared? But...what if he doesn't let go? ------ "You're stuck with me, angel." Asher whistled from behind me. "You'll wish you could take back those words." I said noticing a sort of sinking feeling in my stomach as I turned and looked at him. "What if I don't?" He asked leaning quite close to me. "You will. Everybody does." I said stepping away and continuing to walk. "Even if I'll want to, just hug me and I'll stay." He said making me stop and look back at him. He winked with that breathtaking smile. "Okay, Asherboy." I said back as a smile formed on my lips too.

สองคนที่ต่างกันสุดขั้ว..โดยมีน้องสาวฝาแฝดของหมอซายน์เป็นสื่อรัก หมอซายน์ผู้ไม่สนใจอะไรในโลกใบนี้จากเรื่องงาน.... ครูดาวผู้สนใจเรื่องราวของทุกคนราวกับเป็นสำนักข่าวรอยเตอร์.... ความรักที่สุดแสนจะวุ่นวายจะลงเอยยังไง...

When Avery Cole planned a graduation trip with her long-time boyfriend, she expected a romantic proposal under the stars. Instead, she caught him cheating the night before their flight. Determined not to waste the money, Avery embarks on the trip alone, only to face a string of misfortunes. Her worst humiliation? Being walked in on while pleasuring herself… by a stranger… who turns out to be the rightful occupant of her hotel room. Since every other room is fully booked, the smoking-hot stranger offers to share the space for the night. One poker game turns into strip poker, which turns into a night of passion Avery can’t forget. She leaves her number, hoping he’ll call, but he never does. Weeks later, Avery lands her dream job at a prestigious marketing firm, only to discover her new boss is none other than the man from that unforgettable night. Now, Avery must juggle professionalism with undeniable chemistry, while her mysterious boss seems to have secrets of his own.

"He was once mine but then I lost him. I couldn't protect him even as I had vowed to do. But, I brought him back to life. Now, he is reborn and so is I. I will walk through hell and high waters. I will break laws and bones until I have had him in my arms once again and this time, even death can not prey him from my loving grasps." "And if in this life, another Williams or Priest shall arise, then I will go on a rampage, a mad killing spree. For his sake, I will become my demons, my monster, and I will hunt them down and pluck them out until there is nothing left of them and they will never hurt what's MINE ever again." "There is only ONE for me in this world and that ONE is HIM." **~~** Second Book of 'Poisoned Affairs'. It can be read as a stand-alone novel but if you want to learn better about their previous lives then you might wanna go check out PA first. **~~** Danny and Louis are reborn but one was born with the memories of their past lives while the other stays bound to the last words spoken to him on his deathbed. The only clue to unraveling their eternal bonds lies in their identical birthmarks, one of great meanings and importance yet even the marks wouldn't be enough to stop fate from trying one more time. Let's follow Levon and Dylon as they journey through discovery, acceptance, lust, hurt, and uncontrollable love for one another. Hope this time fate smiles better on our boys. **~~**

Celeste is a worrywart single mother who has a phobia about her past catching up on her. Her teenage son, Neil, is growing up so quickly, and at his phase, needs a father figure which she's unable to give to him. Running from her past, she ran into Nathan, a talented chef. A handsome hunk is an ex-marine planning to start his restaurant business putting his wonderful cooking craft into reality in Celeste's hometown. There Neil takes a liking and a fond attachment to Nathan leaving Celeste no choice but to admit there is more than just the chemistry between them and she wants him in her life as a friend, lover, father to her son, and most importantly a life partner. But all seemed impossible when an acquaintance from Celeste's past comes to hunt her putting the lives of the most treasured people in her life in danger. With reassurance, faith, and love Celeste discovers there's more to life than just being uptight and playing hard-to-get. Nathan was one who is made just for her.

BLURB In a world where power, wealth and betrayal intertwine, Isabel reclaims her place among the elite after years of being hidden in the shadows. The very people who thought they’d rid themselves of Isabel, are in for the shock of their lives when she steps back into their world. Now, as the long-lost daughter of the prestigious Montgomery family, she’s ready to face her enemies—starting with her ex-husband, Alexander. The man who discarded her after an affair with her best friend. As old wounds reopen and dangerous secrets come to light, the question remains—will Isabel’s heart betray her thirst for vengeance? Or will she finally bring down those who sought to destroy her once and for all? The final act of this twisted game will be one no one sees coming.

Sekar hanya seorang gadis remaja yang biasa saja dengan penampilan biasa. Ia juga hanya seorang gadis pendiam yang selalu menjadi bayangan bagi orang lain. Tapi dia tidak pernah menyangka bahwa akan datang suatu hari ia memiliki cahayanya sendiri berkat bantuan seorang remaja laki-laki. Laki-laki yang sama biasanya seperti dia. Pic: Pinterest

"Don't you think that skirt is short for you?" She says, changing the subject and taking another long hit from her blunt. Since when does she care about my clothing? Besides it's not like it's affecting anyone, so why does it matter? "Um, no. Why do you care anyways?" I ask suspiciously, while looking down at my skirt. It's not even short. "People are looking at you in there, and maybe it's because of what you're wearing," She throws her blunt on the ashtray that she has, and turns her attention on me staring fiercely into my eyes. "Why does it matter? It's not like it's a bad thing." I say, now worried at this point. I don't know what's going through her mind as she comes closer to me, again my back is against the wall beside the balcony railing. "It is a bad thing because it seems everyone in there wants to fuck you, and for some damn reason it's bothering me." Heaven says lowly, barely audible. ----- Hatred. Despite. Mixed feelings. Read to find out about Valentina and Heavens relationship, which starts off as despiteful, then turns into something pure.