You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

LOVE HATES YOU ALANIS grew up without a mother, because her mother died with cancer when she’s still young. So her father raised her alone. He didn’t remarry again , instead he spent his time making a good relationship with his daughter to make sure she got everything. Alanis was okay with the set up, she loves her father dearly and she wants to make him proud in every way. But everything changed when his father decided to sponsor their driver’s son Rafe. She got jealous of him, she thought maybe her father was regretful that he had a daughter instead of a son. RAFE was offered a full scholarship by Don Miguel where his father worked as a personal driver. He grabs it, as an opportunity only comes once, but the Don wants him to stay and live at Esmeralda mansion so that he can focus on his studies without worrying about anything. It was when she met the young Alanis. He thought that she was just another spoiled rich kid when she treated him as if he’s invisible. There are times when she pulls a prank on him just to see how long he can stand the humiliation he’s going through. Years pass by without them having a problem until the Don suddenly dies in an accident and they find out that the Don leaves a will that Rafe will be the guardian of Alanis until she turns at the age of 25 or marry someone who’s capable of handling the Esmeralda Trading and it’ll depends whether Rafe agreed to it. Rafe promised to retract the guardianship after they solved the case of Alanis father's accident.

One Lust Dance is a modern Cinderella-type story with an interesting twist that all started with the masquerade ball. It is a romantic comedy with lots of naughty and intimate scenes. The plot revolves around a young, handsome billionaire named Edward who meets a mysterious, masked woman at a ball. Edward and the mysterious masked woman are locked in the cellar, and in order to keep themselves warm, they drink the wine and get drunk. The burning passion of lust tainted her innocence as she ventured into a world of desires and submissiveness. Edward wasn't able to see who she was because she was wearing the mask the entire time; all he could remember were her physical features and the passionate night they spent together. Edward searches the whole province of San Lorenzo to find her. He dated all the lovely women who matched her physical appearance in hopes of finding her. Little did he know that the one he'd been looking for was just in front of him.

Seven years back, Sam had met a cute , Sweet girl in a friend’s wedding reception. He has come across countless girls since then but no one could stir his heart like that girl..Seven years later, He is one of the youngest successful architect in the IT industry . Christine has been greatly appreciated for her work by everyone. Her Boss forces her to accept an on site role. However, Upon reaching Country N, she realises she has fallen right into the trap setup by someone.That someone is very “Powerful” and want his sweetheart to stay by his side . She is his true love. Author Notes: Mon- Fri 1 chapter DailyThere is no Rape or major misunderstandings in this novel . This novel is for those readers who are tired of CEO, Actress, Mistress plots. Warning : lT industry terminology used whereby necessary

(This book is a three part series) "She looks exactly like me but we're very different." Gabriella. "You're always gonna be beneath me no matter how hard you try." Gabrielle. Twin sisters, Gabriella and Gabrielle may look alike but they are definitely complete opposites. Gabrielle, the proud, popular and overly ambitious sister, who loves to be the center of attention and would go to any length to get whatever she wants, without any care of the consequences. Gabriella, as opposed to her twin sister is the quiet one, the gentle one and the smart one and she unlike her sister is not overly ambitious or power and fame hungry. Liam Helton, son of famous fashion designers in New York bumps into both sisters on the same day but on different occasions but falls in love with one and detests the other.

Controlled and beaten by her husband, Millie walker, a kind and caring person, saw no way out. She was trapped.That was, until her best friend Megan provided her with the perfect opportunity. It was one that she just couldn't turn down.With Megan's help, Millie left her home and the small town she grew up in for a new life. One without pain, one without control and one without him. Millie was enjoying her newfound freedom, however everything suddenly changed one fateful night. She had found herself involved in a world far more precarious than the one she had left behind.It was full of danger, werewolves and magic. A supernatural world which was only found in childhood tales and stories, had become her reality. Torn between fearing the unknown and embracing the need of her heart, she must contend with a handsome Alpha, his twisted Luna, death, deceit and betrayal.

After being forced to donate the blood from my heart to my Alpha's beloved witch, I die in the cottage that he'd built for me. Before my death, my five-year-old daughter runs to the castle in the forest to beg him thrice. The first time, she runs into the study and tells him I'm coughing up blood. My mate, Alpha Alaric sneers. "Is this one of Clara's new tricks? I can't believe she taught a child to lie!" He orders his attendant to take our daughter away. The second time, she knocks on the door cautiously and tells him I'm trembling all over. Alaric snorts contemptuously. "What's with the act? All I did was take some of her blood, not gouge her heart out. She'll heal on her own soon enough!" Once again, his attendant chases our daughter out. The third time, she kneels by the study door and weeps, saying that I'm already unconscious. She begs Alaric to save me. This time, he gets mad. He grabs her by the arm and throws her out of the castle. "I told you your mother won't die! Lie to me again, and I'll kick her out of the Wolffang Pack. She can die at the hands of those Rogues!" He breaks her arm in the process, and she clutches it. She has no choice but to pass the family heirloom—a ring—that represents her identity as the Wolffang Pack's heiress to a passing merchant. "I can give you everything valuable I have, Mr. Merchant! I don't want to be an heiress—I just want my mother to stay alive!" The merchant accepts the ring and soon brings a herbalist. However, Alaric's beloved witch, Elena has him taken away. "Sorry, but your father is worried that I'll be upset because my darling black cat is sick. He's ordered all of the herbalists in the pack to focus on treating my cat first." She snorts. "Your mother can wait."

Malayo naman ang Cebu sa Manila—dahilan kung bakit pumayag si Anastasia Ocampo sa proyekto na kaniyang dinaluhan sa Pilipinas, ngunit pagkarating niya sa meeting place ay nandoon ang lalaking pinakang iniiwasan—Mr.Tanner Grimes—pinakabatang multibilionare; ama ng kaniyang kambal na anak. Dalawang paraan lang ang alam niya; una 'wag na wag pagkitain ang mag-aama. Pangalawa, ay tapusin agad ang proyekto.

"Don't you think that skirt is short for you?" She says, changing the subject and taking another long hit from her blunt. Since when does she care about my clothing? Besides it's not like it's affecting anyone, so why does it matter? "Um, no. Why do you care anyways?" I ask suspiciously, while looking down at my skirt. It's not even short. "People are looking at you in there, and maybe it's because of what you're wearing," She throws her blunt on the ashtray that she has, and turns her attention on me staring fiercely into my eyes. "Why does it matter? It's not like it's a bad thing." I say, now worried at this point. I don't know what's going through her mind as she comes closer to me, again my back is against the wall beside the balcony railing. "It is a bad thing because it seems everyone in there wants to fuck you, and for some damn reason it's bothering me." Heaven says lowly, barely audible. ----- Hatred. Despite. Mixed feelings. Read to find out about Valentina and Heavens relationship, which starts off as despiteful, then turns into something pure.

"Strip naked." He commands with an authoritative seductive voice. "Huh! Why?" I asked because his outburst is surprising. "Just..." His voice trailed, as he made his way closer to me. "I want to see you naked." He whispers. I swallowed my saliva hard, as I made my way further inside the suite. Summoning up the courage, I unzip my red gown, while allowing the gown to freely flow down until it touches the floor. He smirks devilishly at me "Touch yourself." He commands. **** Cornelia Jamarreon is a young lady who is diagnosed with stage three cancer. All she ever wanted was to get married before her time on Earth came to an end. Her boyfriend dumped her on her birthday, leaving her so devastated that she ended up having a one-night stand with a stranger she knew nothing about. She awoke the next morning to discover that he had stolen her most valuable jewelry. 'Did I give my virginity to a thief?' She asked herself. "What would happen when Cornelia finally finds her Mister handsome? Will his family members accept her and her son?" "Will Cornelia live happily ever after, or will her cancer take her life?" Find out.....

"I don't like you, Mr. Decarlo,"He eyed me with his stormy grey orbs. "The feeling's mutual,"In which Newton's laws of attraction have been violated...️Aeliana Winslow, has to endure two whole years of physics lectures conducted by the awfully attractive Spaniard, Professor Antonio Decarlo.