Zombies Funny Novels & Stories

Zeke said and glanced left and right at the bar, looking for the bartender. "The Mummy, Creature from the Black Lagoon, the Thing…" If you think about it, a zombie isn't very original. It's like a mix between a vampire and Frankenstein's Monster—undead and butt-ugly. By the way, why do you think zombies like eating human brains?" "Because brains taste delicious." "Really? Have you tasted brains before?" "Course not. I'm not a zombie." "You are sometimes, my friend. It's like you don't have feelings at all. You're numb and indifferent about most things that happen in the Colony."

"I'm with you, and my men are behind us." I shake my head and say, "It's just like what I thought would happen in the movie: malls are open but empty, and then zombies start coming in..." Then there was silence between Fabian and me. After a few seconds, they started laughing at me, and I could see that Fabian was almost shedding tears because he was touching his stomach as he laughed. “Stop laughing at me, I’m not joking…”

Since he have been buried for almost a decade . "I mean won't you be looking like a zombie like that." She said to him by imagining the dead mummy's body that she had seen in museum. "No I be fine .I will look like a normal human .Because I have the human flesh now ,that I sucked out from the bad guys ". He said casually as if it was normal for him. By remembering there body she gets nauseous.So she gives him a signal to go by covering her mouth with one hand. She starts to make breakfast.But before that she gave him instructions about how to brush and where is the bathroom and all.

The next day, Jackson and I were sitting in Karen's condo, watching the news on the television. Karen, on the other hand, was preparing some snacks. We were casually chatting about the school's upcoming programs and events to get us prepared for the possibilities until the news anchor's voice abruptly interrupted our conversation. "Breaking news, I repeat, breaking news," the anchor said urgently, causing us to immediately focus our attention on the TV. We watched in shock and disbelief as the news report unfolded in front of us. An entire village had been wiped out, believed to have been the work of wild animals but we believed from a group of vampires.

We looked back and Jenny wasn't around. "We're going to die, you know that right?" Benny asked me. "I'm sure I'll be a vampire tomorrow." I replied. "A zombie..." He said "A zombie prostitute!" We both spoke together and started laughing. It was an inside joke in our group, some years ago I listened to a song called Zombie prostitute by Voltaire with a very funny clip, so always when we said we were going to die, the joke was: come back as a zombie prostitute. I wiped the tears that were running from the corner of my eyes and walked to my bed.

“Lily, I never knew you had such a voracious appetite for chicken! Is there any left for the rest of us?” Lily’s face reddens even further, but she manages to muster a smile and plays along. “Well, Natasha, you know how irresistible chicken can be. I couldn’t resist its deliciousness!” I chuckle, feeling a sense of camaraderie with Lily in that moment. It’s a small reprieve from the heaviness of my own troubles, a brief moment of lightheartedness amidst the turmoil. “I don’t know if Zombies exist but you’re definitely a chicken zombie” my laugh becoming more and more uncontrollable.

Evelyn POV “Phantom there's no way in hell I am wearing this!” Zombie complained as he held the pink t-shirt that read: ‘Down to DEFCON’. Buddha walked into the conference room with a huge smile on his face. “I don’t know Z, this shirt is pretty awesome.” He looked down at his own pink t-shirt that he had cut into a tank top. “I think pink is our color.” Zombie rolled his eyes. “You don’t even understand computers but yet you are wearing a shirt that only makes sense to computer people!”

*** "Bubba. Missy. Let's move." I backed up fast, pulled the three cats into the security booth, and slammed the door. While they were busy yelling, a few zombies drifted up behind them. Before the apocalypse, they called me soft for keeping "useless" cats. Not anymore. They think they're so capable? Let them handle it. These zombies were different. They bit with intent—no stopping to feed. Before the lion or the crocodiles could react, over half the crowd was infected. Blood flooded the air, thick and metallic, pulling in more zombies.

She rolls her eyes and lifts her gun, shooting it with a bored expression on her beautiful face. “I thought there would be a little more action than this, but these zombies are weak. It’s just a waste we came to see this shit show,” Zoya complains. “I don’t agree,” I tell her and watch a few men run past us. They give us weird glances but say nothing. Lucky for us, they are drenched in too much blood and sweat and way too busy to tell us anything. Silently, I observe two men stop by a dead body. One of them hangs his head as he stares down at the corpse. Suddenly he hiccups, it’s a painful sound, and my entire body jolts in painful realization; they probably stood each other close.

Screams tore through the B2 level. Martha and I bolted for the stairs. Marcus stumbled behind. The smell of blood hit us like a wall. In the makeshift chapel, Sister Catherine was on her knees before the cross. A bloody hole gaped in her neck. A zombie was hunched over her, greedily tearing at her flesh. It had crawled in through an air vent. “Oh God…” Marcus retched. I grabbed a nearby iron chalice and slammed it into the zombie’s head.