Alpha's Picture of Regret

Silja POV

My head is pounding. That’s the last time I celebrate anything with Romy. Her idea of fun is drinking until we stop using good judgement. Even though we are wolves, we can still get lit. It only takes having liquor with some aconitum mixed in to get a wolf drunk. Since I basically live my life in the human world, putting something like that in our drink would be a rare occurrence. The problem is I don’t know how I got home last night.

I’m afraid to open my eyes. I already know my headache is going to get worse when I do. I need to brave it though. I have to get to the studio shortly. I don’t even know what time it is, but I can’t imagine it’s late afternoon yet. I have my first clients and it’s my step forward to having my dream realized.

I take a deep breath and slowly open my eyes. Luckily, the windows are still closed and only a soft light is peeping through the black out curtains. It’s enough to make me realize I’m not in my home. I don’t have black out curtains. I turn my head slowly to the side and I see a beautiful male body lying next to me on the bed on his stomach and facing away from me.

I silently curse myself out. I have never had a one-night stand. I had never had sex either. That was my first time and I don’t remember it. I robbed myself of that memory. I do a self-check of my body and notice I’m uncomfortable between my legs. Yeah, I definitely lost my virginity to some random guy, and I could kick myself for it.

My body feels achy and all my senses are fuzzy. I can barely see straight, and my mouth feels parched and my sinuses feel stuffy. Damn spiked whiskey. I’ll strangle Romy when I see her for not stopping me. I quietly get up and grabbed my clothes off the floor as I prepared for my walk of shame. I have no idea where I am, but the vibe of the room feels like a hotel room at some swanky hotel.

I quietly get dressed and realize I can’t find my panties. Well, fuck it. I just have to be careful not to bend down. I pulled my hair back and tied it with a hair tie that was in my bag, and I tiptoe out of the room. I slowly closed the door behind me, careful not to shut it too hard and then I started walking down the hall until I found an elevator.

When I get in, I realize I’m on the top floor. Isn’t that where the penthouses or presidential suites are usually found? I shake my head, well, I can’t remember who the hell I let take my virginity but at least I’m not in some sleazy hotel. I wish I could remember if he was any good or not. Judging by the pain in between my legs, I’m guessing it was a wild night.

I can’t blame the guy. I got way too drunk and ended up in this situation. The only thing I can hope to do is forget it ever happened. I should probably make time to get the morning after pill. But first, I need actual painkillers for this freaking headache.

I stepped into the lobby and even though I’m sure everyone is talking normally, the sounds of people’s voices sound amplified. It’s making my head pound harder. I searched my bag for my sunglasses and put them on. That helps me to see more clearly. I walk outside and hail a cab. There is so much noise out here, I feel like my head is about to explode.

Once inside the cab, I gave the cab driver the address and asked if he could lower the radio.

“Looks like someone had a good time last night.” He chuckled.

“Mmm.” I said as I rested my head back.

Just as my head was finally starting to calm down, my phone started buzzing. I looked at the caller ID and it’s Romy.

“Hello”

“Silja! Did you finally hand in your V Card with Mr. Tall, Dark and Brooding?” She asked excitedly.

“First, I have a massive headache. I will never get drunk with you again. Second, seeing how I can’t remember anything and I’m achy, I probably did. I’m not happy about it either.” I said seriously and with my temples throbbing.

“Well, he said his name was David and he was seriously in your space last night. He couldn’t keep his hands off of you and you my dear innocent one, that is not as innocent as I thought, you were grinding your perky peach all up on this manhood. He wasn’t stopping you either.” She said happily.

I feel my cheeks heat up, even though she can’t see me through the phone. I put my hand to my face trying to hide my shame from an invisible crowd of people judging me in the taxicab. “Oh, my Goddess. I didn’t.”

“You most certainly did. He whipped out a black card and paid the tab before leaving with you. The guy is a fancy rich dude if he is sporting that black card. In terms of the situation, it could have been a lot worse. You were swept off your drunken feet by some rich guy, and he probably gave you the time of your life.” Romy said.

“This is not making me feel any better.” I said as the cab pulled up in front of my two-story walk up. As I’m paying him and telling him to keep the change I tell Romy, “Girl, I can’t be mad at the guy. He didn’t know I was a virgin. You knew that I wanted to save myself for my mate. Why would you let me go with him? Clearly, you were still lucid and knew what was happening.” I said and I can hear the hurt and anger in my voice.

The other line became really quiet, “I’m sorry Silja. I thought you meant it when you wanted to have fun and hook up with someone. I wasn’t abandoning you, I swear. I wouldn’t have let you go with some scumbag. I’m a terrible friend. I’m not even a friend.”

“Whatever. Listen, it’s fine. I will come to terms with all of this. It’s not like I’m going to make this David guy responsible for me. We aren’t living in those kinds of times anymore. I just really wanted my first time to be special, and I don’t even remember it. But that’s on me.”