Jika Waktu Berakhir

The night before the study abroad application deadline, the class group chat blew up.

[Oh my God, Ryan, why did you switch your application to the UK? Weren’t you supposed to go to France with Emma Bennett?]

Ryan Hawthorne replied like it was nothing.

[Yeah, I changed it. She has my login anyway.]

[Once she sees it, she’ll switch too. She always follows me around. She can’t function without me.]

I stood there with my phone in my hand, my mind going completely blank.

Scattered across the floor, half tucked between my open suitcases, was the gift I had prepared especially for Ryan.

I left the group chat, threw the gift away, and never opened the application portal again.

What he did not know was this.

He could give up the future we were supposed to share for Sophie Quinn.

And I could give him up too.

I could choose my own future without ever looking back.

All those late nights, all those years of work, had never been only for him.

Ryan’s words cut straight through me.

The school in France was one we had chosen together after twelve years of working toward it.

And now, just like that, he had changed his mind.

He had not even bothered to tell me himself.

Someone in the group chat asked him.

[What if Emma doesn’t see it? The deadline is midnight tomorrow.]

Ryan gave a short, mocking laugh.

[She’s been checking the portal every ten minutes since applications opened.]

[She’s more obsessed with it than my mom. There’s no way she won’t see it. Whatever. You guys wouldn’t understand.]

The others immediately started hyping him up, calling him bold and acting as if he had done something impressive.

Then someone else asked.

[But what if Emma doesn’t switch? Isn’t the school in France better for her?]

Ryan went quiet for a few seconds before answering, his voice suddenly colder.

[Bullshit.]

[Emma has separation anxiety. Last time we went one day without seeing each other, she dropped everything and came looking for me. This time, if she doesn’t follow me, she won’t see me for three years.]

[To her, I matter more than any school. She’ll choose me. She definitely will.]

The chat went silent after that.

After a long moment, someone spoke up carefully.

[Ryan, isn’t that kind of unfair to Emma? We all know how hard she worked for this.]

[You should at least tell her.]

Ryan clicked his tongue impatiently. It took him a while to answer.

[Too much trouble. I don’t want to deal with it.]

[You all know how Emma gets. If she finds out I changed it because of Sophie, she’ll cry until my head explodes.]

[Better not to say anything. Saves me the headache.]

The group chat came alive again.

[Fair enough. Emma’s great and all, but compared to Sophie, she’s still missing something.]

[Ryan really does have girls wrapped around his finger.]

Their jokes almost crushed me.

I wanted so badly to call him, lose my temper, and demand an explanation.

But my finger hovered over the screen, and I could not make myself tap his name.

In the end, I simply crawled into bed in a daze.

I stared at the ceiling as my thoughts slowly scattered.

How could someone change so completely?

Back when we decided to go to France, the two of us had studied French until we broke down crying in each other’s arms, but neither of us had ever thought of quitting.

Every time we felt like we could not keep going, we would pull up a picture of the Eiffel Tower and tease each other until we found the strength to continue.

The day we received our offers, we laughed and cried at the same time, thinking all the suffering had finally been worth it.

But now, when the future we had dreamed about was finally within reach, he had shaken me off and run toward someone else.

Honestly, if he had wanted to change his plans, I would not have blamed him.