MADU, YANG DIBELI OLEH MERTUAKU

It's time to go. And yet, I'm hesitating.

I tighten my grip on the handle of my suitcase, staring at the massive door of Mycroft Manor before me. One word from me, and it will open so I can leave. Months ago, when I first arrived here, I thought I would be looking forward to this moment. I thought spending all this time around the man who had broken my heart would only make me suffer. 

I’m so stupid. It took seeing him every day again, hearing his voice and touching him, just like when we were married, for me to realize that my feelings for him never really died. My ex-husband was the one who destroyed everything that was between us with such ease. Just because of one lie.

And yet, I'm hesitating.

“Are you okay, Eden?” I hear Mae’s worried murmur behind me, which makes me struggle to put a smile on my face. I know it breaks her heart to see me go, but I know I can’t make a scene and put her in an awkward position as the Mycroft's’ housekeeper.

“Yes.” I swallowed as quietly as I could “It’s time to go. Just… Read my letter to him, will you? I want him to know that we’re still best friends.” Tears began to burn my eyes, but I refused to let them fall “It doesn’t matter what happened between me and his father, and it doesn’t matter if my job here is done… He’s an amazing kid and I love him.”

“Oh, Eden…” Mae sobbed, and I would have loved to hug her right then, but I knew it would probably break me “You don’t deserve this… Not you and not that poor little boy…”

“This is how it has to be.” I muttered, trying not to sound as heartbroken as I felt. “We all knew this was only temporary. Now this family can go back to treating me like I’m just a stain on their past, and eventually, even he’ll forget about me… Just like his father did.” I reached out, touching the cold wood of the door. “It’s time to go.”

“Eden!” a tearful voice cried out, causing my arm to lose strength instead of opening the door.

“Theo!” I gasped, turning to see him running down the stairs so fast his little legs almost tripped him, while one of his nannies ran after him “Watch out! You could get hurt…!”

“Why are you leaving?!” He finally reached me, wrapping his arms around my leg and lifting his head to show me his tear-filled blue eyes “You promised me you’d never abandon me! You promised you’d take care of me! Why are you leaving?! Was Dad or Grandpa mean to you again?” Theo sobbed, the sadness on his face making my chest ache “I hate them! They’re making you abandon me…!”

“Oh, Theo…” I sniffed, leaning down to hug him, trying not to think this would probably be the last hug I would give him “Don’t cry. I’m not abandoning you. I… I just need to go back to my house.” I tried to smile, wanting to calm him down “You’re better now. You don’t need hospitals or needles anymore… Or me.”

“No! I’m still sick! My chest still hurts!” He hugged me even tighter, his tears wetting my arm “You can’t go! You can’t!”

"Theodore…"

“I want you to be my mommy!” he cries, making me freeze “I’ll be good. I’ll eat all my vegetables and never complain about taking my medicine again, I promise! Please, don’t leave.” his small body shook with sobs. “Please…”

This time, I wasn't strong enough to stop the tears from flowing, so I just hugged him back, letting my heart break all over again. What was I supposed to tell this little angel? That I loved him too and would love to be his mother, but that wasn't enough? 

He already had a family and, sadly, I wasn't part of it. 

“Eden!” another voice called out to me and for a moment, I just closed my eyes tightly, hugging Theo closer “What are you doing?”

I needed all the little strength I had left, but I still stood up with Theo still in my arms, raising my eyes again towards the stairs. And, there he was. The father of that little boy I loved as if he were my own, even though we didn't have a single drop of blood in common. The owner of that dark mansion, which always seemed to try to swallow me. 

The man who had once been my husband.

“Connor…” my voice was cracking, but I still tried to keep it together “I… I tried to make this as painless as possible for him. I didn’t expect Theo to find out…”

“That’s not what I’m talking about!” Connor growled, stepping closer to me and his son, though his eyes were on my forgotten suitcase on the floor “You can’t…” His teeth were clenched, but he looked more disturbed than angry “You can’t just run away! Come on, bring your stuff back to the room. Let’s talk about this…”

“I’m not running away.” I grumbled “You saw the examinations. Theo is fine now. I did my duty, so there’s nothing more to do here. You said so yourself.” I lowered my voice as much as possible, not wanting Theodore to hear this.

“Things were different back then, Eden. You know that…” he ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated “Listen to me…”

“This is going too far, Connor.” I took a step away, even though Theo was still in my arms “There’s no reason for me to keep living here…”

“No!” suddenly, his hand was on my arm, pulling me close again “You don’t understand.” His arms wrapped around me, as tightly as his son’s “I can’t let you go! Not again.”