Pull The Trigger

"Make sure to wear your safety gears before we start our classes."

I tied my hair up before I grab my Glock 43 Caliber 9mm pistol and put it in my drop leg pistol holder. I just let my ultrasonic earmuffs hanging on my neck. I made sure that my safety glasses don't have scratches before I wear it. I rolled my eyes, sino bang tanga ang hindi magsusuot ng safety gears kapag ganitong klase ang pinasukan mo?

Damn, bakit ba pati ito pinagkakainisan ko? I feel like I'm having a bad day.

"Gaya ng dati, only two shooters and spectators are permitted per lane. Who wants to go first and try?" The range safety officer asked.

I'm currently bursting ball of energy right now. It's not my first time, I'm just too busy for my personal life and ito na lang ulit ang oras ko para gawin ang bagay na 'to.

"Ms. Hermano, you have experienced gun firing. Why don't you try first?" 

I'm not surprised when he mentioned my surname, actually, I'm really expecting it. They're reading all our backgrounds about gun firing, and they also know that I have my own licensed gun. I smiled a bit before I took off my leather jacket, I'm now wearing my black racerback and short. Hindi naman ako nakatakas sa mga tingin ng mga kasama namin dito, maybe because I didn't even object.

My lips curved before I walk near the first lane. As I expected, I saw the B275 green qualification target in front.

"Do you need a guide? Sa tingin ko'y hindi na, you're not a beginner, based on your annual range card."

I almost rolled my eyes again. Yes, I'm not a beginner because someone taught me already. Nakakasuka lang banggitin at alalahanin kung sino, and I can't even deny the fact that he's the reason why I'm here, living my whole life while loving this kind of area, I always love to be in this kind of place, shooting range. Annual range card, also known as our membership form, andoon rin lahat ng backgrounds namin about gun firing, that's why I expected that they really know me.

I get my gun in my leg holder, I pointed it downrange for safety, it's also one of the rules here. I heard the other students gasped when I cocked the gun.

"Watch her properly."

I keep my finger outside the trigger guard, I extend my arms straight and flat. I hold it tight on my 'firing-ready' position. I fix my gun on the target while aligning my front sight with the rear sight. I remember what the asshole said, I control my breathing before pulling the trigger.

I heard them clapped their hands nang makitang maganda ang resulta no'n. My lips curved once again, knowing that I'm still good. Ang tagal na rin nung huli.

I took off my earmuffs before I put back my gun in my leg holster.  Agad ko rin nilagay muna sa lalagyan ang safety glasses ko. Ang iba doon ay kanya-kanya nang pumwesto sa designated lane nila.

"You're good. Sino ang nagturo sayo?"

I stopped when I heard someone asked. I saw Gianna's mouth formed an 'O'. I smiled before I face the girl who asked me. I can feel a sharp pain in my heart, but I still manage to answer her question using vulgar words, not intentional, at least.

"Why? Papaturo ka? Patay na e," I responded in a monotonous voice.

Her eyes widened, tila hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi ko. Kita ko ang pagpipigil ng tawa ni Gianna, she's covering her mouth. Gaga talaga.

"I'm sorry for your loss po," she sounds so apologetic. She even smiles like she was really sorry. I almost choked a laugh, but I hold it.

My jaw dropped when I realized that she really took that seriously. It's supposed to be a joke! Pinatay ko na ang taong hindi pa naman talaga patay, tutal ayaw ko lang talaga maalala kung sino ang nagturo sa'kin humawak at gumamit ng baril. I didn't expect that she wouldn't get my point, she looks so innocent.

I remember myself from her.. before.

I closed my mouth before I clear my throat before I smiled at her, Gianna knows what kind of smile is that. Sarcastic.

"It's okay. Anyways, join them, so you can learn more about gun firing," I advised, while watching the spectators teaching the other students.

She just nodded before she gave me a wide smile. She's not my age, she looks younger than me. Her innocence made me forget all the wicked people here in the world. I also look so sweet and innocent before, until shit happened. Yes, shit happened, not just a normal 'what the fuck' moments because it's really serious.

"She's so naive, just like you." Gianna stated as she walks closer to me while holding her tumbler.

"Before," pagtatama ko sa kanya. She just shrugged. "Let's eat, I'm starving," halatang umiiwas sa topic, but Gianna ignored that, respecting what I want. She knows how sensitive that topic is, for me.

My stomach is growling like a hungry lion. I'm too excited, to the point that I can no longer eat my breakfast. I just got my break from my work in our own company, I'm drowning with ton of paper works and I need time to breathe. I'm finding a shooting range and ito ang sinuggest ni ate Vivian, my older sister. Hindi hassle dahil malapit lang sa company. It's really weird, kailan pa nagkaroon ng interest si ate sa mga ganito? I mean, it's not impossible na malaman niyang meron nang ganito malapit sa company, but she really suggested as if alam na alam niya dito.

"Paalam muna tayo," she answered kaya tumango na lang ako. Hanggang mamaya pa kasi sana ang tapos ng session namin, but I really need to it, marami pa akong gagawin mamaya. 

I took off my drop leg holster before I safely put it in my gym bag with my licensed gun. I wear my jacket and check my face on the camera of my phone, I still look fresh. I smiled bitterly when I noticed that my face became more mature now, I remember my face when I was in high school, innocent and fragile, too easy to manipulate. Kind of face that he doesn't want. But he kinda did manipulate me. Yeah, based on what I know. Sa dami ng nangyari.

I returned to my senses when I saw Gianna calling me to come over, she's currently talking with the manager of this shooting range. I just gave her an asking look but I still walk towards them.

"I'm sorry Ms. Hermano, but can you wait a little longer? The owner of this shooting range wants to formally welcome his new students," he smiled.

Gianna and I looked at each other, my mouth formed an 'O' saka niya ako marahang siniko.

"So lalaki pala ang may ari nito? Pogi kaya? For sure magaling rin gumamit ng baril 'yon. Shit, putukan niya ako," agad umawang ang bibig ko nang makarinig ng malalaswang salita kay Gianna. Wala talagang pinipiling lugar. Parang nawalan ako ng gana kumain dahil doon. Umagang-umaga, napaka halay ng nasa isip.

I glared at her, buti na lang ay busy ang iba sa pag gu-gun firing. The manager left us first because it looks like someone was calling on their landline telephone here. Baka tungkol nga iyon sa pagbisita nung may-ari raw. Half of me wants to stay because I also want to meet... well, whatever the gender is, because he literally save my life, sobrang convenient for me ng naisipan niyang place for his shooting range. But I really can't constraint my hunger! Sana naman bilisan niya, 'diba? Damn, demanding.

"Why? To--"

"He's here!" The manager announced. "Gather up first, the owner has arrived and he wants to formally welcome you all."

We immediately fixed ourselves. Napaayos din ako ng tayo ang biglang na-conscious sa itsura ko though kasasabi ko lang na fresh ako kanina. Pati ang iba ay tumigil muna at tinanggal ang kanilang mga safety gears. Gianna pouted her lips before she shrugged, bored lang akong tumayo while crossing my arms over my chest. Can't believe I ignored my hunger for this.

"Ang tagal naman, I'm already thirsty," I complained, siniko naman ako ni Gianna, umirap lang ako.

She just handed me my tumbler. I feel like my throat is already dry. Masyado na pa-VIP ang owner na 'to, buti siya hindi nagugutom.

I'm currently drinking from the tumbler she gave me when I saw men coming in. I almost drown as I drank when I recognized someone. I covered my mouth so I could not pour the water inside of it, dahil do'n ay nasamid ako. Agad akong tumalikod, para na akong nahihilo. I also felt Gianna stiffen beside me.

My hands were shaking, and my heart is pounding so hard, tila gustong kumawala. There's a big lump in my throat, it hurts down to my chest. I feel like my knees are wobbly like a jelly, my hands are also sweating, as well as my forehead, my vision became blurry just like my memories with that person. I held my chest when I felt a torture hard stab in it. I'm chasing my own breath as if I'm going to die because of pain. Bakit? Bakit ngayon pa?

"Good afternoon, everyone. I want you to meet Mr. Damen Elliote Queriejero, the owner of this shooting range and the Chairman of Queriejero Armory Incorporated." 

Nakailang mura ako pagkatapos marinig 'yon, I remained in my position even though I hear them clapped their hands. How stupid of me? Bakit hindi agad pumasok sa utak ko na may possibility na sa kanya 'tong shooting range na 'to? Sobrang tunog ng apelyido nila sa ganitong mga bagay, basta connected sa mga baril. I really thought it was impossible for him to be here again!

Muli kong nabasa ang pangalan nito sa isang lane.

D.Elli House of Guns.

Shit.

"Ms. Hermano, are you okay?" I almost jump in panic when the manager called me. Tangina. I was caught off guard. He even mentioned my name! The way my body's shaking got worse. Naiirita ako, but at the same time--ang daming tanong sa utak ko.

I tried to look cool, unti unti akong humarap sa kanila. I cleared my throat before I answered, trying not to stumble on my words. 

"Y-Yeah."

I held my breath when our eyes met, it's so emotionless, his eyes so damn emotionless, he's like a book with different languages. He stared at me like I'm not familiar to him, like he doesn't know me at all, like I'm just kind of stranger to him. The pang in my chest makes me want to get out from this room, not because I'm hurt, but because I don't like the way these things are going. The sharp features of his face is a reflection to his body structure, very masculine. His thick eyebrows were shaped into an intimidating perfect arch that followed the slight curve of his eyes. He kept his mouth closed in a thin, straight line. He's wearing his suit over his broad shoulder. He looks mre masculine now. His dark eyes remained at me.

The way he pins his eyes on me, it is really intimidating. But I'm not weak, I also remained my sight on him. Naputol lang 'yon nang tumikhim ang manager.

"Do you want to be the first to teach them, sir?" The manager asked that's why he switched his gaze. Parang doon lang ako nagkaroon ng oras para huminga.

His jaw tick as he answered. "Sure," he responded in a manly voice. His voice is full of authority, none of us makes any noise. His voice is so deep as if it can drown you in the middle of the sea.

It breaks my heart, hearing his voice again. It feels like a double stab in my chest. Nakahinga lang ako ng maluwag nang magsimula na silang maglakad papunta sa mga lane, Gianna immediately approached. She touches my back, slightly caressing it.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

I smiled.

"More than okay, Gianna."

Of course, I lied, but even though I still feel the sting in my heart whenever I see him, I'll make sure that he can't distract me anymore. I forgot who I am, I forgot how I work so hard just to be myself now, at hindi siya ang makakapagpabago dito. 

"He's changed, pero ang hot pa rin," she commented.

I removed the tie on my hair, I let it fall as it bounced at my back.

"As if I care."

She gave me a teasing smile before she shifted her gaze to the asshole who's teaching the innocent girl that I've talked with earlier. Katabi niya ito habang tinuturuan kumasa ng baril. Just like old times, huh?

"What about pulling his trigger again, Vaine?"

I swallow hard before I grabbed my bag and placed it over my shouler. Humarap ako sa kanya, wearing my unbothered face, I confidently answered her question.

We are all living between the lines of life, between pain and joy. We are all just moving with darkness and light, but don't let anyone destroy you like they planted a lot of bullets inside you.

"I don't think so. I suffered too much because of him. WE suffered too much. And I realized that..." 

I cut my sentence as I shifted my gaze to him, watching him aim. He already pulled the trigger. Bullseye.

I turned my gaze back to Gianna, I smiled before I finish what I am saying.

"Nothing can fix bullet holes."