1000 Funny Ways To Die Novels & Stories

Saying this, they smiled at Ashley while she kept crying silently as one of them was still holding the gun in her mouth. Option one is to put six bullets from this gun in your forehead. Or we will cut you into pieces and feed you to the dogs. Or there is another option, we will throw you alive among sharks. Now you tell us how you want to die. We will kill you in the way you want to die. Although we wanted to bury you alive or skin you alive. This is our favorite way to punish someone. But since you are the lover of a powerful person, we are giving you options. Now tell us how you want to die? "

Adrian’s friends moved faster than he did. One of them reached out and ripped it from my hand, ending the call mid-ring. Another laughed under his breath, like he’d just seen something absurd. “Seriously?” someone scoffed. “Your fiancée runs into a little trouble and the first thing she does is call her mommy?” Another chimed in, shaking his head with a laugh. “Adrian, this is next-level childish. We’re grown adults, not kindergarteners. What’s she going to do next—cry for a nanny?”

I whine, sighing and hitting myself in the forehead. Throughout our talk I’d gotten into my jammies, gotten some chocolate and made popcorn. I was now in bed with a huge bowl that was half gone and a bottle of Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Mom never cared if I snuck a couple of her fruity drinks as long as I was home. “You don’t know until you try but here’s what you DO know … it ain’t happening with Punch. He’s clearly hell bent on shutting you down and now that’s fully in the Flying Death? Come on girl,” she points out, and I just knew she was making a face.

He raised his glass. "To the deadies who refuse to stay dead. May you survive what's coming. Or at least die spectacularly." We raised our glasses. "To survival."

I needed it or I'm gonna die of depression before dawn. The next twenty minutes, I stared at Nick's back and imagined all the easiest ways I can kill him without anyone noticing. Poison his food, goddamnit, nobody cooks in this house. Hire a gangster to shoot him or a planned accident. Which ever way I just want him out of this planet. For good.

Fiona said calmly. "We all know we are going to die at the age of 30 anyway so why fear death? If we're gonna die then we should harm these monsters enough to satisfy the fire inside us before dying." She blurted out and the brown-eyed guy chuckled while the other blinked at her horrified by her idea. Fiona glanced at the smiling guy. "What's so funny?" She muttered, getting annoyed by his behavior. "Not funny. It just feels good to know that there's some hope left in our kind," He said and her interest was piqued instantly.

" I'm not a terrible person so I'll let you choose your mode of death" She looked at him with disgust, if murdering his fellow human didn't make him a terrible person, then what would? " So tell me, will you like to die by hanging, poisoning, stabbing, drowning, falling off a balcony, gun shot,....." He listed a lot of dying modes to her but all she did was sob.

Such a relief! Thea told me that I was going to be here a while so I should freshen up. At least they understood the meaning of sanitation! She also told me that if I tried to run away, I’d be shot in the head from thirteen different directions. Um… Yeah… It was cool with me. I told her that I would rather like to die in a snowstorm or due to a volcanic explosion or something awesome like that. I don’t want people not to know how I died. And I wanted to die in a cool way…

I mumbled bluntly and the two fates laughed at me. "Look sister, the mighty death in love, is more frightening than him in death mode," Morgan chuckled. I rolled my eyes and scowled at the pair. "How long do I have, can you at least give me that," I asked rudely. The two sisters looked at each other and turned to me.

Seething at me. " What's there to laugh, baby doll?" He asks, and I shake my head in a no. Looking into his eyes to already see his death. Rage covers his features as he applies more pressure, but I continue to chuckle. " You death." He stills. His grip drops as he looks into my eyes in confusion. " What do you mean?" Who is going to tell him? " Your death is fun Ryder. It's the most inhuman and brutal death ever known in history."