1000 Funny Ways To Die นิยาย & เรื่องราว

"And no disappearing this year. Last birthday you vanished halfway through your own party." I smirked. Last year was adventurous. "That's because uncle Derek got drunk and started crying over Beyoncé again." "That man has emotions." Mom defended immediately, though she was fighting back a smile. "That man was singing Halo with tears in his eyes ma." From the kitchen doorway Lilith laughed softly into her coffee mug and I swear my entire body noticed it. She doesn't know how much hold she has on me. She was wearing an oversized shirt with tiny sleep shorts underneath and her hair was still messy from sleep. No makeup. Still the prettiest woman I had ever seen in my entire life.

Such a relief! Thea told me that I was going to be here a while so I should freshen up. At least they understood the meaning of sanitation! She also told me that if I tried to run away, I’d be shot in the head from thirteen different directions. Um… Yeah… It was cool with me. I told her that I would rather like to die in a snowstorm or due to a volcanic explosion or something awesome like that. I don’t want people not to know how I died. And I wanted to die in a cool way…

“It is true there are rules that prevent me from directly interfering with human fate. But there are other ways to make it happen. The Big Book is full of general conditions that I always find my way around. For instance, as a prank I can cut the brakes of a car that I calculate will be at a certain place at a certain point in time. It is not an exact thing, mind you. More like trial and error. But it IS one way to bring about the claiming of a life. “Another ingenious method is to place mysterious cigarette-sticks around a human dwelling to tempt a mortal of weaker resolve. It matters not if the bait is deemed a gift of Providence. The prank is as unremarkable and innocuous as when your key

"Mr. Han Fei, right? Your biggest reliance is gone now. How do you want to die next? I have thousands of ways to die. Do you want to do it step by step or follow procedures?" What!? Thousands of ways to die? Did you want to finish the program in one step or go through the program? Staring at Yang Xiao’s gloomy face, Han Fei’s scalp suddenly felt numb, and his back felt even colder.

I mumbled bluntly and the two fates laughed at me. "Look sister, the mighty death in love, is more frightening than him in death mode," Morgan chuckled. I rolled my eyes and scowled at the pair. "How long do I have, can you at least give me that," I asked rudely. The two sisters looked at each other and turned to me.

" You will die!" What!

“I thought long and hard about this. I want to make your death memorable. Something fitting for a man like you.” He paused, “So, tell me which you’d prefer: should I skin you alive and then burn you? Or maybe electrocute you to death? No, wait… my personal favorite—” He grinned wickedly. “Bury you alive in a coffin filled with mice, so they have to eat you to survive. What do you think?” I murmured something under my breath, my voice too low for him to hear. “What was that?” he asked, leaning closer, his curiosity piqued. “Come on, don’t be shy. Which one will it be?”

"You heard me very well! If you're going to kill me, do it here. And tell your cowardly boss, who couldn't kill me with his own hands, that I'll be waiting for him in Hell." When he heard this, John began to laugh. "Did I say something funny?" I was angry that he was taking everything as a joke. Even the murder of a human. "Actually yes." he continued to laugh. "I didn't come to kill you. I'm coming to walk you around the mansion. As for Richard, he went to ride his favorite horse, Spirit. When he gets home, he does this first." Poor animal, had a terrible owner. "Oh, that means I should feel lucky." I replied irritably.

Tom shouted as my face was buried in the cushion. I couldn’t mutter anything I was drained of the remaining dignity I had. My mind kept thinking of ways I can kill myself. Poison, gunshot, stabbing, hanging, running into ongoing traffic, drowning, burning myself, drinking acid. The endless choices sounded more like paradise than the way I was being treated. I decided to close my eyes to think about paradise