actually funny jokes

“Kayleigh, you will either take your pants off, or I’ll do it!” Alexander Hearst warned her. If her thighs were not swelling and in pain, this could probably lead to something else because the way he said it turned her on. “Then do it.” She could not take her joke back because he had already opened the button and pulled down the zipper of her pants. Carefully, he took her pants off, and she could hear him gasp as he carefully touched the red skin. He jolted when she yelped in pain. “What’s this, Kayleigh?” His voice was low and angry. She wished to tell him she was lucky her father did not hang her on the wall to punish her for getting married without telling them. It was an accidental marriage, only for convenience, but who would have thought she would be married to the stranger she met at the elevator, the gorgeous, sexually attractive, and the luscious man she had ever met.

What happens when an all-business alpha planning to marry his chosen mating ceremony smells the most intoxicating fruity scent that belongs to his curvy mating ceremony planner. The confident plus size Ji'lahni Nelson, her two cousin and their best friend owns a successful Wedding planning company along with a dance self-defense workout studio, when they're asked by their new friend who is like a mother to them to plan her sons' wedding, I mean mating ceremony? What will happen when the sassy plus size women steps into a world of werewolves? Let's read to find out!

Aria Carver has never known that she's not related to the Kent family by blood. When her childhood sweetheart and the rest of the world turn on her, the Kent family kicks her out and tells her to search for her biological parents in the hole she'd crawled out from… Aria laughs it off. She's about to stun everyone by revealing her secret identity, but it turns out the "hole" the Kent family had mentioned is actually the richest family in Janovin, the Carver family! Over the course of a single night, she goes from the Kent family's fake daughter, who's despised by everyone, to the actual daughter of the richest man in the country. She also has six brothers who absolutely adore her! Her eldest brother is a domineering president. "Let's pause the meeting right here. Get me a ticket back to the country—I wanna see who are the people who have the nerve to bully my sister!" Her second-eldest brother is a famous celebrity. "Cancel the function. I'm gonna take my sister home right now." Her third-eldest brother is a god in his industry. "Postpone the competition. Nothing's more important than my sister." This rocks the country! The Kent family regrets every wrong move they make, and Aria's childhood sweetheart tries to win her back. But before she can reject him, Landon York, the president of York Group and the son of the renowned York family, proposes to her. It makes her the talk of the town!

Please be advised, words and scenes can be very, very steamy. This book is a collection of wild erotic adventures and fantasies. Adventures to some and fantasies to others. Sex is delicious. No one in their perverted mind will claim otherwise. So when a chance for a too good to be a true moment of one's life knocks at its door or when what happened a while ago was something you would never think it would have happened, some people grab these chances, while some regret it for a lifetime not indulging. A one-night stand or a quickie with a consenting individual is an easy fix.

The day that was supposed to be her happiest turned out to be her worst nightmare. The man that she had dedicated her life to, turned out to the complete opposite of her expectation.On the eve of her wedding day, she learned that she was just a pawn in the man's game of raising to power. The man she had been proud to call her future husband did not love her one bit. She was supposed to smile and pretend that everything was okay when in real sense, her heart was bleeding to the extent that she could not breath.Having been framed by her husband's mistress for killing her unborn child, Ella was forced to leave the city or face life imprisonment. But after starting her life over, she realized that she was pregnant, because on their wedding night, the man who hated her had actually gone to her room and made love to her.***Five years, Ella returns with her five babies, ready to take on the world. But she never imagined that her little babies had a mission of their own, until a a man she thought she would never seen again stood in front of her and said; "Thank you for the cute babies darling, now, will you marry me?"

Nate Wolf is a loner and your typical High School bad boy. He is territorial and likes to keep to himself. He leaves people alone as long as they keep their distance from him. His power of intimidation worked on everyone except for one person, Amelia Martinez. The annoying new student who was the bane of his existence. She broke his rule and won't leave him alone no matter how much he tried and eventually they became friends.As their friendship blossomed Nate felt a certain attraction towards Amelia but he was too afraid to express his feelings to her. Then one day, he found out Amelia was hiding a tragic secret underneath her cheerful mask. At that moment, Nate realized Amelia was the only person who could make him happy. Conflicted between his true feelings for her and battling his own personal demons, Nate decided to do anything to save this beautiful, sweet, and somewhat annoying girl who brightened up his life and made him feel whole again.Find my interview with Goodnovel: https://tinyurl.com/yxmz84q2

When they were married, billionaire tycoon Mr. Seven said, "That goth bitch is just after my money and my looks. If she dares to ever touch me, I'll chop her up into pieces."After the divorce, Mr. Seven went around telling others, "My wife has been bullied by her family all her life. She is the most gorgeous woman on earth. If you look at her funny, I'll gouge your eyes out!"Mr. Seven, do you even hear what you're saying?

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

Her marriage has been unsuccessful since that day she got married to him. One sided love, and his unknown hatred towards her. "I'd rather sleep in the guest room than with you". His threatening voice echoed inside the room before he left. She finally understood the reality, married to him for a whole five years, only to discover now that he only used her to claim his inheritance. She was so heartbroken when she caught her own husband and his Mistress on a date that he has never taken her to, not even once. Anyways, who was she to call her his Mistress?. She should have understood that the Lady was his only Love of his Life, on the other hand, she was just an urgent second choice because his family didn't support his marriage with a lowly class. But now he actually became the Boss that he was, he didn't care about any bullshit from his family. "I guess, I won't regret what I'm about to do, I'm tired". Night falls, her drunken Handsome Husband she had admired all those years was finally at her own mercy. "There's no backing down this time around!. I won't always be treated like some pushover!". When the morning time arrived, a document "DIVORCE AGREEMENT" could be seen at the top of the bed. "Where is she?!". "E…. Em…. Your wife already left Boss".

"It was a mistake! I apologized already," feeling so terrified as I moved backward."You should have known me better than this, little sparrow," He chuckled deeply, his gaze fixed on me."Lucas please!" I cried, now stopped by the wall as my heart beats faintly."Don't worry it's just a little game, you and I will play, you'll love it, little sparrow," He smirked.I knew this was a trick, Ben lied when he said he wouldn't hurt me and I stupidly fell into the trap.Now, I was alone with him and in his room.I think this is the time for me to announce my funeral..."Strip!" His cold voice snapped me out,as he stared at me with a deadpan expression while I gazed at him in ultra shock.******************Camilla Evans is a gentle nerd in her finals at Watermark Highschool. As a nerd, the stereotypical notion of her wearing thick rimmed glasses, out-of-vogue clothes and shoes which were eighty percent of the time, twice her size still stands. Having been at the bottom of the food chain in Watermark Highschool, Camilla was liable to predators and the most annoying one of them all went by the name, Lucas Liam.Camilla had no idea why the hottest guy in school would even spare her a glance not to mention actually spending the whole day bullying and teasing her to no end.Could there be something else to these false acts of bully and teases from Lucas?Find out what happens when the Cheerleader, Jenny Layton put Camilla's life at stake?Will she be able to handle all the torments she's passing through especially when her mum died and her sister left her behind?CONTAINS EXPLICIT CHAPTERS!!!