Always On My Mind Novels & Stories

That’s why staying here felt annoyingly different, because even with the distances i could still see her. Staying here, no matter how busy I tried to keep myself, my mind still found its way back to her very single time. I thought about her while sitting through meetings, the same hought would run through my mind when I’m having dinner with investors. The thoughts of her muddled my mind late at night when I’m finally alone in the hotel room. Whatsoever was happening to me was becoming a serious problem, an irreversible one at that. By the time the plane landed, I was already mentally exhausted.

× Trix × This morning’s been a mess. My mind’s like… all over the place, bouncing from one problem to the next without even a second to breathe. Feels like there’s this invisible playlist on loop in my head, frustrations from training, weird vibes from the pack, and Dixie, always Dixie, like a song you can’t stop humming. By the time I finally get to my room, I’m just over it.

There was order, logic, and structure. But today… I couldn’t focus. My mind wasn’t on the quarterly reports or the upcoming acquisition meeting. It wasn’t even on the emails piling up in my inbox. It was on her. Kimani. Every time I tried to concentrate, she appeared in my thoughts — her laugh echoing softly in my head, her smile tugging at the corners of my memory. The image of her sitting by the pool yesterday with her friends, sunlight brushing her skin, her hair catching the breeze — it wouldn’t leave me.

I was glued to the spot, my mind racing with a single thought. That bullet aimed at me.

Those problems should be occupying my thoughts. Instead, my mind keeps returning to one stubborn woman with no memories and a talent for disrupting every ounce of control I possess.

But always, I’m quick to cast it from my mind. These past few days, I find myself thinking about him a lot. My alpha. Sometimes, I wonder if the only thing holding me back is me. Tonight, with my oldest friend Lily sharing my bed, off somewhere in dreamland, I don’t sleep. Though my eyes are closed and my breathing is even. I am fully awake. Thinking. I think. And I think. And I think some more. By the time dawn comes and the sun begins to rise on the horizon, I’m still in the same position, hands clasped over my chest.

My stomach twisted at the thought. I tried to focus on something else, anything else. The faint scratch of my pen against the paper. The rhythm of my breathing. The steady, predictable ticking of the clock on the wall. But none of it helped. My mind kept circling back, again and again, like it was stuck on a loop I couldn’t break. Maybe I should say something to him.

Close enough that I could’ve seen him. And I didn’t. I focus on the next order. The next movement. The next task. But the thought doesn’t leave. It just stays there. Quiet. Waiting. Like it knows I won’t be able to ignore it forever.

Although my mind is still occupied by a certain youngest member. What could possibly be the problem?

The vivid image haunted me, lingering in my thoughts at all hours. I couldn't believe it was on my mind so much since it occurred that I was even dreaming about it now. The incident had been unexpectedly shocking, leaving a deep impression on me. I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around it, trying to understand how such a situation could impact me like this.