Always On My Mind Novels & Stories

Yup, it's his damn fault because no matter how hard I try to distract my thought even for a little tiny bit, I still can't get my mind to focus and forget anything and you have no freaking idea how terrible that fact alone is making me feel. I hate the very fact that, my mind is constantly reminding me of what happened and it's fucking horrifying because I can't do anything to change it. Thinking about it alone is enough to make me wanna puke my guts out. It's a fucking abomination. My phone buzzed in my pocket after a couple of minutes went by and I quickly reached for it, only to see, I have received a text from Ryder. Fucking hell. How could i have gotten, today is Thursday and I have a l

To which, I had no answer to. For weeks, I had been asking myself, the same question. Why? Why was this woman constantly on mind? Ever since our meeting at the club, she has been at the forefront of my thoughts, my member always getting hard as soon as the thought of her came across my mind. Even now, my member was standing high and mighty, ready for battle. I had to sneak in little squeezes, in order to calm down my situation, but it wasn’t working. I was even suspecting that I was leaking.

And somewhere in my already overwhelmed mind, one thought keeps circling over and over, like a broken record. What the actual hell just happened?

I couldn't wait to get home. Something kept scratching at the back of my mind. Like I'd forgotten something important. But every time I tried to catch the thought, it slipped away again. Off. I couldn't explain it. I checked tomorrow's schedule one last time. Locked my drawer. Signed out of the system. Then I left. All evening, something kept nagging at me. I couldn't figure out what it was. I replayed the day over and over. The meetings. The reports. The schedules.

But I felt the notification sitting in the back of my mind for the rest of the afternoon like a low sound you cannot quite locate, present and unresolved. Five days.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

None of it works. There's only one name on my mind. I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t. But it won’t leave me alone. Just tonight I tell myself as my thumb hovers over the blocked list then I click on unblock. Kai.

At the table, on the stairs, in a living room, everywhere! Morning light came through the big windows of my office. None of it made a room feel any warmer! I sat still at my desk and looked at the screen but did not really see it. My mind would not pay attention to work. Usually, I can read many pages of papers without losing my focus. Now, my thoughts drift to the same spot again and again. Every little while, Noah's face popped into my mind. No matter how much I tried to keep busy, his memory always sneaked its way back in.

𝙈𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩. 𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙. 𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡, 𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙡𝙡...𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬� �𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪.

"So you are thinking about me!" "You're constantly on my damn mind," he growled, sounding almost pained. "I can't escape you, no matter what I do. Your image is seared into my brain, printed on the backs of my eyelids. Our memories haunt me, stealing me away from myself at every turn." He exhaled heavily, as if suddenly overwhelmed. "Not even burying myself in work can fill the void you left inside me when you walked away."

I said instead. Pilit ko man na ituon ang aking atensiyon sa aking ginagawa ay sadyang hindi ko na magawa. Dahil palaging ang tungkol kay Monette na lamang ang aking naiisip. I can't concentrate on my work because of it. My mind keeps on playing it like an insane drama. The more that I'm trying to ignore it, the more that I remember it clearly.