Banana Jokes Novels & Stories

What if your brother's best friend became your worst distraction? Klaus, with his chiseled charm, piercing gaze, and reckless smile, was that distraction for Morticia. •••••••••• Morticia Addams had always noticed Klaus, her brother's best friend, since they were young. He was the ultimate forbidden fantasy. The man who could have anyone, and usually did. But she? She was an off-limits--an innocent nerd who lives in the shadow of her protective brother. Or at least, that’s what she told herself. She had always thought she stood no chance with Klaus because he's a notorious womanizer who chased everything in a skirt. For years, she watched as Klaus broke hearts and left women craving more of his reckless love and lust. But when she got into the same college as him, everything changed... Then, she discovered a different side of him - fierce, primal, and unapologetic. ~~~~~~~~~~ "Wha—is that a banana in your pocket?" Her gaze dropped on the bulge between his legs. He moved closer, trapping her against the wall. "Yeah. Would you like to eat it up?" His eyes drifted to her chest, lingering on her hardened nipples. "I wouldn't mind."

"She is not property. She is my mate and you will not mention 'her' like you're talking about a burnt banana peel."   My breath hitched.   No one had ever defended me like that.   Not once.   Kael glanced over his shoulder at me, his expression softer now, protective. "But it’s her choice. Not mine. Not yours." .......................................................... At just eighteen, Meeva Vale thought that she had found her fairytale ending, an Omega chosen as Luna by the Alpha of the Sinhound Pack. But six years later, her marriage to Alpha Jared has left her silenced, sacrificed, and stranded in a life that no longer feels her own.   When the powerful Alpha Kael Edgar of the Brawnstorm Pack storms into her territory to confront Jared over a broken trading treaty, everything changes. With a single glance, the bond between Kael and Meeva ignites. But Meeva is already claimed, married even.   But Kael doesn’t give two fucks.   He lays siege to the pack and takes Meeva with him, officially staking his claim as her mate. Her wolf betrays her heart, surrendering to him long before she does. What begins as a sinful passion quickly transforms into a deeper whirlpool.   With a dark sorcerer on their tail, their story is about to take a very unnerving turn.  

Robert Blackwell promised to marry me, then postponed it thirty-eight times. The fifth time, a car crash broke eight of his ribs, and I signed seven critical-condition notices. The tenth time, on the way to get our marriage license, he and the car were thrown into the sea, and his suit was torn apart by sharks. By the thirty-eighth time, his heart disease had worsened and his life was hanging by a thread. Eight months pregnant, I changed flights three times and flew twenty-three hours across half the world to find him. When the door opened, a little boy who looked exactly like him lifted his face and said, "I thought Mom was back." Robert rushed out barefoot, panic written all over his face. I turned around and saw my best friend of twelve years standing behind me with a key in her hand. The little boy ran to her and threw himself into her arms, calling her Mom. So the fiance I had waited seven years for was my best friend's secret husband all along. "I will not wait through these thirty-eight near-death weddings anymore." "Robert, I do not want you either."

Prisca, alias Prisca Ese Gideon, is a fast-rising diva who gets into trouble after photos and videos of herself being intimate with her boyfriend gets leaked on the internet. Her fame and success in the music industry begins to crumble. Her family dissociates from her, she loses many big money endorsement deals, and worse of all, she loses her fan base. The public now sees her as a sex object, making fun and dirty jokes about her. Due to these actions, she isolates herself from the public, vowing to herself never to speak to anyone or have a personal relationship with any person in particular. Months after her rock-bottom escapades, she finds love in the hands of a die-hard fan, Diri, who helps her get back at her boyfriend, Clem (sound engineer of S.K. records, the same record label Prisca was signed into) and helps her get over her rock bottom experiences.

If these three months pass and I don't shed a single tear because of you, Chris... you will apologize to me and my family at the door of our home in my city, on both knees in our neighborhood! His eyes narrowed and shone intensely, only seconds until he came towards me and I was still leaning on the door, he stood right in front of me and raised my chin with his left hand.. He forced me to stare at him and said coldly: I apologize to you?? you ?! I have heard many jokes in my life..but a funny joke like this..I have never heard of it..this was what our agreement stipulated before I threw myself into his world, but events took another turn that I did not expect..who are you!! Which one of them would you be? What is the nature of your colorful world?! Rather, the most important.. What is my fault in all these intertwining and where fate takes me?

To fulfill his sister's birthday wish, Anthony - a billionaire CEO who loves privacy perfection and orderliness - has to accommodate Vivian, a stubborn lady who doesn't care about details and is used to chaos. They start out as enemies, fighting over every little thing but they have no choice - Anthony has to fulfill his sister's birthday wish, and Vivian has nowhere to go as her parents sent her packing. Slowly, they begin to see the good in each other, and that they aren't all that bad after all. From small talks and jokes, they progress to filling in as dates for the other, until they fall in love. But Vivian didn't disclose everything about her reason for being disowned and sent away by her parents, Until her past and her arranged husband begins to haunt her. Will their love stand the test of time? Only one way to find out!

During a family dinner, I, Ingrid Sutherland, bring up divorce. My husband, Samuel Ziegler, lets out a cold laugh in exasperation. "Are you mad just because I peeled a banana for Whitney two days ago? I can't believe you're still throwing a tantrum over that now! She's my sister-in-law. What's wrong if I show her a little bit more care?" He did the same thing in my past life. Ever since his older brother, Charles Ziegler, got seriously hurt, Samuel always put me last and prioritized taking care of the supposedly weaker Whitney Lovette. Whenever I voiced my dissatisfaction, he would criticize me while standing on an irrefutable moral high ground. He would say, "Why can't you be more understanding and cut Whitney some slack?" When it was Whitney's birthday, she proposed going on a skiing trip. But then, an avalanche hit us. Samuel protected her the whole time and led her down the mountain. However, he left me to die in the avalanche. It was then I realized that Whitney was not just his sister-in-law, but also the one he loved. When I remain silent, Samuel chuckles derisively. "You'd better not regret it." It's like he's sure I'm just throwing a tantrum. In one fluid movement, he glides a pen across the bottom of the page, confident and composed. But this time, I'm really giving up on him for good.

Mia Hartley felt her heart pound with disbelief as she stood at the altar, staring at Nicholas Hernandez, her former tormentor from high school, now poised to be her husband.The memories flooded back,the cruel jokes, the relentless bullying. How could fate be so cruel as to bind her to him in marriage? Nicholas, now successful and charming, had meticulously planned this marriage to secure his inheritance. However, he became shocked when he saw Mia at the altar and also Mia’s best friend. . . Meanwhile, Mia's supposed friend, who harbored hidden animosity since high school, was equally stunned. As Mia's bridesmaid, she realized Nicholas, the groom, is the guy who she has been trying to force herself on for the past ten years. What happens when Mia realizes that her friend is her greatest enemy? How would Mia cope being married to her bully who she is scared of?

Georgia Brooks, the notorious, troublesome tomboy is the caretaker of Clark Brown, the mysterious, cold man who is an undercover billionaire. Georgia's motive is to uncover him and just make him happy. But what when secrets are revealed and the badass tomboy is close to tears? Join them on this rocky road of adventures which includes their occasional fights and revenge, stolen kisses, trip to a circus, journey to England, landing in jail and much more! Excerpt from a chapter : His lips curled in disdain and just when he was about to unwrap the towel, I quickly turned around showing my back to him. What the fucking hell? What if I saw his thing? "Don't you care? Like honestly, couldn't you just order like your usual self to get the hell out of your bedroom or just . . . turn around for you to change? You could have at least warned me that you were freeing your willy, I would have closed my eyes!" I rambled and felt myself feeling all jittery again. He didn't reply and I could mentally picture him scoffing or rolling his pretty eyes. A part of me which never saw a grown man's buddy down there was curious as to how it looked. Was it really long and monstrous like a huge sausage they describe in erotic scenes? Was it soft like a banana or hard like a radish? Was is it like spring that when you poke it, it would go wagging like a dog's tail? A teeny little peek would do no harm . . .

Misty I looked at the faces of my pups on the screen, being away from them was so hard but I had to make it better. I had to provide for them. Give them the best chance I could as a single uneducated Mother. They'd had such a crap start to life, mostly my own fault because if I hadnt stayed when he continued to allow the alcohol to become him, they wouldnt have been through the hell, but then if I hadnt stayed they all wouldnt exist and i dont regret any of them, No matter how they were conceived. My Life, My Legacy, My loves. I listened to them tell me about all their adventures and the feasts they ate from banana leaves. Id put out an ad searching for somebody to take care of them while I worked, somebody to love them and assure them i wasnt abandoning them just trying to make things better. Id found those angels, theyd accepted accomodation food and utilities in exchange for making sure my pups were fed, clean and cared for. I thanked the driver for the ride and entered the roadhouse, passed all the food that made my stomach rumble from its 48 hour emptiness, made use of the amenities and headed out back to try and get another ride north that would hopefully take me all the way back to my pups. I took a seat at an empty table, aware of the fact i hadnt showered in 3 days, I kept my eyes down and avoided contact listening for conversation that would point me to a driver heading north. That was the beginning of the rest of my life.