Batman Happy Birthday Funny

"There's a foreign object lodged in the patient's lower region. Due to the unique circumstances, we need the patient's next of kin to sign the consent form for an extraction procedure." My body stiffens when I see the name on the consent form. "I'm Renee Becker's next of kin." It's Liam Cassidy who says that. He's the first love of my wife, Renee Becker, who has been away for a month, claiming she's off on a business trip. Liam doesn't recognize me. He takes the pen and signs the consent form. In the section to mark his relationship to the patient, he writes the word "husband". After passing the pen back to me, he grips my hand tightly and beseeches me, "Doctor, you must do everything you can to help her. She's carrying my baby." As I wrench my hand back from him, my wedding ring slips off and falls onto the floor.

The end of the world had never been so romantic—for Alisa Vega, at least. In an alternate universe where Earth survives the first apocalypse, humans live side by side with other species in a society where impossible things become possible. And yet, with all that magic and technology, love remains to be the most mysterious and unpredictable thing of all. Alisa Vega is a popular celebrity well-known for her beauty and charisma. Growing up in a loving and privileged environment, she had never wanted for anything in her life—until she meets Jester Lee, the rising star of the Adventurer community. Jester saves her life and steals her heart in the process. She confesses her love, but Jester is having none of it. Apparently, he's too busy saving all three worlds from a second apocalypse to entertain any thoughts on romance. But Alisa is convinced that he is THE ONE for her—and she is not taking no for an answer. Join Alisa and Jester as their stories unfold side by side: from gala appearances, photoshoots, and dodging the paparazzi, to navigating through a mess of man-eating monsters, secret identities, and uncovering conspiracies, all in the name of true love. *Author's Note: Some parts of the story may include scenes of violence and gore, dark (morbid) humor and possible emotional trauma (for the characters). Although the author encourages freedom in reading, this warning is in place for those who may find such topics disturbing. Reading should be fun for everyone, after all. Thank you! ^_^

As my murderer's claws tear into my abdomen inch by inch, my father and brother are seated in our family's banquet hall. They're celebrating Carly's 18th birthday and coming-of-age. "You'll always be my little girl." "Happy birthday, Carly." They light 18 pink candles for her. On top of the exquisite red velvet cake is a wolf figurine that they carved for her, and there are well wishes and laughter all around. Meanwhile, I'm curled up in a sewer filled with liquid silver as I bleed to death. My phone has been crushed, and I can't get out. I can only cry for help. A few days later, my father and brother show up together at the autopsy room. My brother stands by the operating table with a scalpel. He slices open the body and sews it back up like it's nothing. My father just covers his nose as he shoots a disgusted glance at my body. He urges my brother to hurry up with the autopsy report. "The victim is a young female wolf presumed to be of pure lineage. Before her death, she was subjected to prolonged captivity and torture. Her throat is nearly severed, her cervical spine is dislocated, and her chest cavity has collapsed. She was also injected with liquid silver before death." Hearing the report, my father looks so calm that it's just like a case study of no consequence. Neither of them can recognize that the body belongs to me—their daughter and sister!

The kingdom teeters on the edge of chaos as turmoil grips its very core. Stricken by a fatal illness, the King knows his time to rule is slipping away, urging him to seek a worthy successor. Yet, his heart yearns for the one person he cannot have Michael, a trusted confidante and devoted shield, who shares a bond of love forbidden by the kingdom's laws. Discover a tale of forbidden love, untold secrets, and the relentless pursuit of a legacy.

On my birthday, the dining table was loaded with all my favorites. My mom had been cooking and baking the entire afternoon, insisting everything be perfect for when Mike got home from work so we could celebrate together. But then, he called and said his first love had been drugged at a bar, and he had to go help her. I stopped him and begged him not to go. Mike snapped at me. "Jesus, Em, don’t pull this jealous wife crap. She’s alone, defenseless, and unconscious—I can't let some random dude take advantage of her!" My mother heard those words and was so enraged that she had a heart attack. She died on the spot. Just like that, my mom died on my birthday. I called Mike, asking him to attend my mom's funeral. But before he could reply, I saw Cathy Miller's latest Instagram post, captioned: [Mikey… after all these years, it was always you.] Mike had liked it. My thumb moved before my brain caught up, typing out the only words that mattered: [A homewrecker and a lying bastard. Hope you rot together.]

I thought I was happy. I thought my life was perfect. I realised how wrong I was when I met her.~~~Melody started a new school 3 years ago and since then she's had a near-perfect life. An amazing group of friends, top grades and a loving, caring boyfriend. But when Thalia shows up and their paths collide her whole world starts to come crashing down.Now only one question is standing in her way. Are you happy?

I was eight months pregnant when my water broke—the same day as the birthday of my husband’s adopted son. To keep my child from being born on the same day as his adopted son's, he forced me to wait until after midnight. He refused to take me to the hospital and locked me in the basement. Adrian Shaw looked down at me. His eyes were dark and hostile. “Elena, you're really good at picking the timing, huh? Of all days, you had to go into labor on Evan’s birthday.” I begged him to take me to the hospital. A trace of disappointment flashed across his eyes, and his voice turned cold. “You’re still trying to lie to me? I asked a doctor. Even if your water breaks, you don’t give birth right away. Some women don’t deliver for three days. “All this scheming is just to secure your position as Mrs. Shaw, so your child can compete with Evan for his birthday and his place. You've really thought this through.” I took a deep breath as despair washed over me. “The baby I’m carrying is yours too! Adrian, I’m begging you. Please, for the child’s sake, save her. As long as the baby is safe, I promise I’ll never show up in front of you again.” His expression darkened. He bent down, grabbed my chin, and replied harshly, “Don’t play games with me. “As long as you stay here quietly until after midnight, I’ll take you to the hospital. Once the baby’s born, you can finally use the child to secure your place and truly marry into the Shaw family.” Later, when my contractions grew unbearable and I cried out in pain, he found me too noisy and took Evan and his mother out to celebrate instead. By the time he remembered me and asked whether I had a boy or a girl, his secretary’s face paled. “Mrs. Shaw is… gone.”

I secretly ordered a delivery of a thousand roses for my wife's birthday, hoping to surprise her. After the delivery was completed, I got a message from the delivery guy. [By the way, I tossed the trash by your door on my way out. Didn't expect you to be so kinky. Good for you, man!] He even sent me a photo. In the picture was an open trash bag stuffed with shredded pantyhose. My mind went completely blank. I was overseas on a business trip. My wife was the only one at home.

On the 26th of my birthday, my true love gave me divorce papers and a broken heart. One meant to wound. One meant to finish me. Life has a way of giving gifts that are both unexpected and profound. If the people you love the most can hurt you this deeply, then perhaps it is only fair to return the gesture, quietly and carefully. This is a thick and cruel world. But I am still here. And some gifts are returned with interest — Bianca Winter. *** “Please, Bianca,” Charles Warren begged, crying on his knees. “Give me a chance. Give us another chance.” “Dear ex,” Bianca Winter replied coldly, “I would have to be blind to walk your way again and even blindness wouldn’t excuse that mistake. You already showed me the darkness, Mr Warren, and I will not step back into the shadows.” With no trace of remorse, Bianca turned and walked away with her head held high.

On our wedding anniversary, I canceled all my meetings and made a reservation at a restaurant. That evening, my wife, the renowned investigative journalist Amaya Shaw, called me. “Efim, I’m sorry! I just received a tip from a source. It’s urgent. “It involves inside information about a well-known company. I have to go verify it immediately!” But the next day, I saw that Javor Furey, the junior she had brought along, had posted a collage on his social media. The central photo showed Amaya wearing a childish birthday hat. Her head was pressed against Javor’s, as they made a wish together in front of a cake covered in candles. This was the caption. [Thanks, my dear Ms. Shaw! Even in the midst of her busy schedule chasing big stories, she remembered to give me this surprise birthday!] [Chasing big stories.] I stared at those three words. Then, I glanced at the limited-edition bag on our dining table. It was the one she had been raving about for half a year. It was the anniversary gift I had prepared for her. I felt absurd. I commented just two words under that post. [How touching.] Her call came in almost the second I hit send. She sounded furious. “Efim, do you have to be so sarcastic? “It’s just an anniversary. How old are you? Why are you still celebrating such childish anniversaries?” From our first year of marriage to the present, her “tip-offs from informants” and “special circumstances” always took precedence over our promises. This time, she could not even be bothered to come up with a plausible excuse. I did not say anything. I hung up and blocked her number. This marriage was over.