Best Yo Mama Jokes 100 Novels & Stories

The rare complement from her is so out of character, it takes a while for my brain to process her words. “Thanks Mia.” I smile, then, “what did you just call me?” “Porky. You know, cos you’re suddenly adding all this weight. I mean if your butt gets any larger, I doubt Ophelia’s will have your size in stock.” “You should really watch it.” Stacy, who had joined the conversation adds. “There’s a lady in my yoga class, she let herself go when her husband left her. Now hubby is dating a model and she looks like a whale. I couldn’t bear it if that became you.”

She giggled again and teased, "I didn't know my baby was such an ass-man. But I'm certainly not complaining. Oh, that feels so amazing, baby. Lick Mommy's asshole! Shove your tongue deep inside me. Mmm...that's my good boy!" I grunted in pleasure as Mom began to roll her hips, fucking her asshole on my tongue. Her moans increased in volume as we both enjoyed ourselves. I tightened my grip on her ass cheeks and gave them both a hard smack, making Mom moan again. Mom moaned deeply as she added more speed and force to her hips. I grunted in pleasure as her asshole slid up and down my wet tongue. Mom giggled and continued to roll her hips back into my face, as she moaned out, "Mmm...that's it, b

Carla Abel: Go back to what ever he.l.lhole you crawled out from you wh.o.re Vivian Salazar: F.u.ck you bi.t.ch I hope you die. F.u.ck you pwhesttsBkn xydshyrdhylvza🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 Greg James: 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮 How could Dante choose this thing over Laura? She’s so ugly I think I’m going to be sick just looking at her 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

"That's your homework. Forget whatever the teachers give you." "Okay," Sam choked, feeling as if his throat was on fire. He made a mental note to buy a pack on the way home, as well as a tonne of mouthwash so his meddling mother wouldn't find out. She was one of those typical boomer generation people—terrified of cancer like it was waiting behind every corner to jump out and tear the organs from her body. Sam suspected most of the hype and warnings were just fearmongering. Last week they said bacon caused cancer too, and a world without bacon wasn't a place he wanted to live.

“No, Mommy. I don’t want to disappoint you.” Grandma smiled, her voice smooth and poisonous like honey laced with venom. “There you go, that’s a good girl. Listen to me, Iris. If you want your mother to keep smiling, you must always do as she says. Don’t argue, don’t resist, and never say or do anything that could make her sad. Everything your mommy does… it’s for your own good.” I nodded slowly. “For my own good.”

I have to do something! Right then Ryder talked. "I don't think I...." She started to say, but she didn't get to finish her sentence because a loud voice came from upstairs accompanied by sweet and cute giggles. Jeremy paled, feeling like his heart fell in his stomach. A big word of "FUCK" flashed past in his head. "Daddy Jeje, Leah said that Moon pooped in your shoes again." Jake's voice was heard from up the stairs. What daddy Jeje! What poop! Jake, my man, why are you embarrassing yourself like this? I told you to stay in your room!!!

Mama cackled. Mambo Nene reveled in the laughter from others at her jokes. I swore that if voodoo wasn't her priority and profession, she'd be a comedian. That comedic spurt stopped once she saw me, replaced with pure joy that came out as a suffocating hug. "Look at Miss Little Alize!" Mambo Nene exclaimed. Mama stood up and watched Mambo Nene squeeze me around like a ragdoll, her bangles and bracelets chiming together. "You're killing her, Nene," Mama said after a few seconds. "Let my baby breathe."

Assumera na kung assumera pero hindi talaga ako natatahimik kapag hindi ko nakukuha ang sagot na gusto ko. I saw how his jaw dropped then smiled. "Same Mary" bulong niya kaya napakunot ang noo ko "What?" "I said Holy Mary. It's not what you think. Loko-loko lang si Marc" Sinali pa talaga sa usapan si Mama Mary. Pero napahiya ako ron ah "Ah, abswelto ka na sa joke mo. Quits na tayo" this time siya naman ang napakunot ang noo.

“Will he have to go to the hospital? Will he pass out or get swollen cheeks? What will happen to him, Nana?” Nana beamed with laughter and I was perplexed as to why any of this was funny. “He'll go to the toilet multiple times—at least a hundred,” Nana laughed out loud afresh and I couldn't detain my laughter either. I held my hand over my mouth to stop the laughter but the imaginations that filled my head couldn't be stopped. Xander? Pooping? You can tell that I burst out laughing. “Nana? Stop laughing,” I told her sweetly while laughing myself. “Why didn't you tell me? You saw me when I started making the pies.”

I pleaded, finally breaking into tears. "Stop it with this 'good girl' act!" Henry snapped, pressing his face closer to my neck. "What? Does your husband’s c*ck not get up anymore, so you're looking for something hard? Are you that thirsty because you settled for a decrepit old man just for money?" "Sir, please don't talk about your Papa like that..." I pleaded through my tears. Henry let out a sarcastic laugh. "Don't you? Why does it hurt you? Or does it hurt because you know it's true? Tell me, what's your price? How much did Dad pay for you to please him?"