Cop Jokes Novels & Stories

I asked, getting irritated by their insipid jokes. “What slave girl are you talking about? The one who appears to be the group leader said. “Have you been smoking weed” another asked. “You look like you need help” the skinny one added. “Stop it!” I screamed at the four of them, I was getting frustrated with their stupid pranks. Are they trying to drive me nuts, what was with all the clownish attitude?

We had been working together for weeks now, and I had grown to trust him implicitly. Speaking of which, I suddenly remembered a silly joke my brother used to tell me when we were kids. "Hey, Claus, why did the chicken go to the doctor?" I asked, trying to stifle a grin. Claus raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "I don't know, why?" he asked. I giggled. "Because it had fowl breath!" I exclaimed, bursting out laughing. Claus chuckled, shaking his head. "You're such a goofball," he said, smiling.

He said he won’t be here! To make things worse, Jackson approached them. Fuck. "Jackson!" JB's monolid eyes shrunk with enthusiasm. He welcomed Jackson with a fist bump. "I was waiting for you! The party is no fun without you." JB laughed meaningfully. "Hell yeah. You know I make things happier all the time." "You're my happy pill, man." "Coke ain't no happy pill, JB. It's a fucking powder." There was an exchange of ridiculous laughter. I guess it's how them crackheads understand each other's humor.

"Not me. I'm a bastard and straight, in case you forgot. I meant anyone else who isn't an obsessive idiot stalker." The tension spiked, sharp and hostile. For a moment, I considered lunging across the table and breaking his jaw. I could tell from the way the human's fists tightened he'd welcome it. He was actively taunting me. But then Conan raised a hand between us and blurted out: "Okay! Okay. How about a joke I've heard before? Let's see... Why aren't Koalas considered bears?" Silence. "...Because they never had the Koala-fications!"

It had been so long since I’d heard myself laugh. “I’m sorry to hear that.” I lied, “Maybe if you sent me a video of it I’d feel bad and change my mind?” Coop snapped his fingers, “That’s a great idea. Good, old fashioned guilt tripping. I like it, pretty girl. Don’t make fun of my crying face, though.” “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

He said and the other guys chuckled. The mockery has been non-stop. Every time we meet up, there always has to be at least one joke or parody in reference to Sophia. "Would you guys ever get tired of toasting me?" Huh?" I asked. "Never." Fred answered. "We love you too much." "I agree." Hendrix added. "Speaking of Sophia... Uh, has she finally told you where she is?" I refused to answer which made them all roar with laughter. "This is a running joke and it needs to stop. I mean it!"

She chuckled and then broke into delighted laughter. He grinned. “You get that I’m joking?” “Well, of course you’re joking. Vomity ones.” She laughed again. “Too funny.” “Most people don’t get my jokes. Say they’re inappropriate.” He finger-quoted inappropriate. “Are they idiots?” “Arguably.” She laughed again. “A woman who gets my jokes…” His pleased little grin turned into a broad smile. “Can I buy you a coffee sometime? Or a jet?” “A jet?” She laughed until her stomach ached and she had to bend over with her hands on both knees to catch her breath. “You’re killing me.”

His booming voice filled the air with glee, As he entertained us, setting spirits free. "Let's say old time jokes, shall we?" Chants of 'yes' sounded around the room. "Did you hear about the vampire who opened a bakery? He got into a lot of trouble because his cakes were always too bloody." The room erupted with laughter, a joyful sound, As we all shared in the mirth that went around. Stephanie chimed in with a witty remark, Adding to the humor, making the atmosphere spark. "Alpha Darwin, have you heard the one about the talking dog?

The woman burst into laughter, unable to contain her amusement. “Oh, hell no!” She exclaimed, shaking her head and reclining back, crossing her long legs. “But it was fun to see that look on your face. Priceless if you ask me, wasn’t it, Cooper?” Cooper chuckled in response, his grin wide and filled with amusement. “It definitely was. It’s a shame we couldn’t capture it on video. It could’ve gone viral as a great meme.”

"Pregnancy has become disadvantage to you, Kitcat...I bet he'll tell you the grass is too green for you to step outside tomorrow." "Shut up, Liam. I'm not trying to make jokes." "And see...your pregnancy has become a disadvantage to me too...look at him snapping at me because of a fetus." "I'd advise you to shut your mouth, Liam...his face is getting red, it's about to swell...he's transforming into..." "Angry bird!" Liam and Fredd bursted out into hysterical laughing at their apparently funny joke...but Zillon didn't seem to find it funny, he was as serious as judge. "F*cking idiots..."