Dad Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

"I can see why he's obsessed you're fucking beautiful." "And hot." Tasha's muffled voice adds in as she munches her last piece of chips. "And smart, funny, stupid and she makes horrible puns too." Jackson says casually, a stupid smile on his face. "Fuck off." I say dryly, a smile tugging at the side of my lips. "He's right, Iris." Tasha nods agreeably. "And let's not forget the horrible Dad jokes too." "Really, Tash?" I sigh, which makes her burst out in laughter.

Tony was right behind him as he spoke. "Did you just audibly say the word 'gasp' at me? Hahahaaaaaa, dork! Hmmm, might I suggest something else to be blown?" Tony couldn't help but crack a wide smile when he heard Dillon snort and chuckle. "For fuck's sake, haha! You did not! Ugh, raunchy 'dad jokes' now? Ahaha!" "Well, half-dad joke, haha." Tony grabbed Dillon's proffered hand and hopped down the last few feet of the incline onto the ground.

Bright and early the next day, I showed up at the office as usual. I ignored the whispers and stares, and made a beeline for my desk to start clearing it out. That was when Lily waltzed over, oozing fake sympathy. "Janice, can't you take a joke? "Come on, it was just a little toilet cleaning. Why'd you have to go and tell Mr. Hoffman you're quitting? No need to blow things out of proportion. "Look, I'll even dip into my own wallet and toss you a little extra cash to make up for it.

he wiggled his brows at him and I was getting worked up by whatever the hell was going on “Oh, you both were fucking!!!” Stan shouted so loud that I almost jumped in fear “We sure were” Jere joined them laughing I was both embarrassed and disgusted. Embarrassed by how they laughed, they were laughing in my face and he was laughing with them Disgusted with how he put my business out to them, to fucking randos I didn’t even know

Jenna laughed, “Yeah, in my timeline, the big craps (she makes quotations) just go down into pipes. No dumping needed.” Yale looked at her, “Hmm, that sounds too good to be true. And what did you do with your hands when you said that.” Jenna shook her head, chuckling, “That’s called quotation marks. It's sarcasm with your fingers.” Yale smirked, “Interesting. I’m not saying I believe you, but I can go with it for now.” Jenna smirked as her stomach grumbled, and both men looked at her. "Was that your stomach, or do you need to use the bucket?” asked Clay.

“What are you, blind, you idiot?” Daniel laughs and shrugs. “It was a turn of phrase! Hyperbole!” “Oh gross, are you and Fay going to use big words all the time?” Janeen asks, turning to sneer at him. Jerome laughs again and Daniel just narrows his eyes at her, but he can’t help his smile.

"I don't like your ridiculous piercings. I don't like your ridiculous tattoos. I don't like those ridiculous pink shorts you're wearing right now. I don't like your ridiculous voice. I don't like your ridiculous Instàgram posts. Matter of fact, delete that group selfie you just took. I don't want me or my wife being on your ridiculous feed. It's embarrassing to be associated with you. You are ridiculous. The only reason people cling on to you is because of your rich dad." "Is this some sick joke?" "The only joke here is you, Leo." "Do you know who the fùck you're talking to?" "Yes." Damien nods. "I'm talking to Leo Giovanni. The biggest joke on the table. An embarrassment to his family. Fail

Come on, I'll take three shots as punishment—consider it a toast to you and Macy! Todd stood to the side, his expression shifting between anger and panic. He stared at me intently, as if I were the cheating wife, the disgust in his eyes practically spilling over. Looking at the bunch of fools in front of me, I couldn't even be bothered to be angry. I turned my head and glanced at Terrence. He'd worked under Dad for 20 years. There was no way he'd be able to tolerate anyone insulting me like this. He suddenly raised his hand, about to slap Miguel across the face.

This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, right? I swear! That's funny. Wow! If you join to stand up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner." "Na," said Mommy quietly. Chiko still showing his smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit!

“Joke’s on you. We’re going to win. And when we do, these boys are taking off their clothes and skinny-dipping with us while you clean our dirty clothes with your tongue.” My brows lifted. “You’ve been watching too much reality TV.” “I have this crazy feeling one thing’s going to lead to another and I’m gonna get that hockey boy money.” “Sure, Molly,” I said, flashing a cold smile. “Keep those dreams alive. Meanwhile, I’ll be living in the real world where your team of girly girls has no shot at beating a professional hockey team.” Something flickered behind her smug mask. A tremor. A flash of what if I’ve messed up.