Darkest Jokes Novels & Stories

He added and Arya chukled. "He wanted to announce to all the boys that I'm off the hook, and If anyone comes even 30 feets close to me, he will dig out their intestines, feed it to them and watch them eat it while they die," Arya replied and he bursted into laughter. "What!!! Your brother is really something else," Jeremy said laughing uncontrollably. "He has always been like that, I'm used to it already," she replied. "He's one of the many reasons I stayed away from you, his sharp claws are always ready to tear anyone that comes close to you, I couldn't deal," Jeremy said.

Sam spits and gets all worked up when Aziel starts to laugh and it's always the same with Sam's short temper. "Can you two stop it!" I say when I see Grayson shake his head while he walks over to the sideboard and starts to make himself a sandwich and place them on a plate before he comes back. "Oh, you got some sausages! I love sausages with flavor!" Sam says and I just can't hold my thought to myself. "You hear Grayson, now you down have to wash your wiener anymore. She likes it with flavor!" I say out loud when the whole table falls silent for a short moment before everyone burst out laughing, I see Sam drops her sausage and wipe the corners of her eyes.

Jaida covered her mouth, her chuckles brimming with ridicule. “It's utterly laughable. Truly, this is the biggest joke I've heard in years. The less a person knows, the bolder the lies they spin," Jett sneered.

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.

Jon admits. “You know what? I don’t either.” I open my eyes, looking around the dark room. I can’t see Jon, and even if I roll over and look him in the eyes, his expression will be hard to read. It doesn’t make sense, but there’s something safe about the dark. It hides the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts. “I say things like that with sarcasm and dark humor, but it’s not really funny, is it?” “Sometimes you laugh so you don’t cry.”

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that we are very much a part of the business they did want in the first place so they have to keep up appearances and make themselves known. If anyone of my guys should be feared it would be Dante. He’s the jokester, the fool everyone thinks can’t be serious. Dante’s imagination and fascination with mid-evil torture divides a gore makes him one of those people who would take enjoyment out of watching someone slowly bleed out while watching them suffer until he gets his answers.

Sarah wasn't even sure what the word 'trio' meant, but she didn't want to seem dumb so she nodded slowly nonetheless. "Great! So how about I tell you some hilarious jokes about your mate over there?" He jerked his head in Damon's direction and finally took a glance over at him. But the hazel eyes that met his were totally different from the hazel eyes he had looked into not too long ago....these ones were deadly.

Liam said with grin “It most certainly is,” Bruce said with a frown. “You didn’t even give the joke a chance,” Garth said. “A joke that involves bestiality doesn’t deserve a chance,” Bruce said haughtily. “Where did you hear these jokes? You guys have never been joke tellers.” “That hotter than smoke brunette in the red dress,” Garth answered bluntly. “She’s been telling all kinds of jokes for the past forty minutes to various people.” “Like who?” Bruce asked with concern.

“Uhm, my car is this way. It’s pretty small, sorry. I don’t usually drive lumberjacks around, so I got a compact.” I laughed warmly. “So that’s all I am to you, huh? A lumberjack?” “I guess you would be more of a timber wolf?” she said, tapping her chin with the tip of her finger. “And you say I tell bad dad jokes?” I asked incredulously. “That one blows Fur Sure Solutions right out of the water.” Marley giggled. “What? I thought it was clever.” “The joke, much like you, was very clever,” I said indulgently. “But it was also very bad.”