Darkest Jokes Novels & Stories

She moves closer, looking over my shoulder. I click on the post, and it’s still there. Another attempt to delete it gives me the same error message. “Let me read some of these,” Jenni says, sitting beside me, eager to dig through the replies. I let her, and together we scroll through the comments, reading them aloud. The first one I read is clearly a joke. DarkJester: Oh, baby, I’ll show you how to “shadow” someone. Ever wanted to play hide and seek, but you’re the one hiding and I’m the one… finding? 😘

Jason likely made the stupid bet because he needed someone to copy off so his dumb ass could pass. Those were the longest six months of my life. How did I convince myself I had been happy? It was pure torture. The jokes stopped, at least to my face. People got more creative. They started whispering behind my back and giggling behind their hands. Then swearing up and down they weren't talking about me.

His booming voice filled the air with glee, As he entertained us, setting spirits free. "Let's say old time jokes, shall we?" Chants of 'yes' sounded around the room. "Did you hear about the vampire who opened a bakery? He got into a lot of trouble because his cakes were always too bloody." The room erupted with laughter, a joyful sound, As we all shared in the mirth that went around. Stephanie chimed in with a witty remark, Adding to the humor, making the atmosphere spark. "Alpha Darwin, have you heard the one about the talking dog?

"I guess we're not allowed to order any drinks without upsetting wannabe George Lopez?" "Hey, motherfucker," Oscar said. "That's fucking racist." "Why?" I asked. "Because you stole that second joke of yours from the third season of his show, or because you can't actually think of anything funny to say?" "What, hey, I didn't steal any jokes!" Oscar fumed. "Alright, dude," you said. "Don't freak out. Just go watch the show, I'm sure you just did it by accident." "What the fuck? Hey, security, get this punk out of here," Oscar said.

My breath caught when I noticed the dark look on his face. "I'm sorry. I was only joking with you." He muttered in a rough tone after sitting beside me. "An inappropriate joke because we're at my workplace. If you'd done that in my house, I'd make you leave with a limp." I moved away from him toward the other side of the couch. He didn't hesitate to pull me back forcefully. Our eyes collided in the middle, and he had already ignited the spark of a war from his side.

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

At this point, I had given up already, and I was just hoping that the worst wouldn't happen. To think that I was being manhandled by this man, and none of them could ever help me. "Mere looking at her, you'd know that she is very fertile. She will definitely fill your home with plenty wolf babies." The emcee said, and they whole audience started laughing at me, again. I was just so pained. Here I was, sitting down in front of an audience of men who loved to capitalize on the weaknesses of others. The most annoying part of it was that they were actually laughing like drunk fools who had lost their minds. In all honesty, I actually didn't find anything funny in all the naughty jokes that they

Darkous laughed, taking a long draw of his cigarette as he raised an eyebrow, seeming to control his increasing humour. “Don’t begrudge a man for his occupation, besides that shits fun.” His brother chuckled as he lit a Cuban cigar, taking an equally long draw. Darkous shook his head in amusement, unable to disagree with his brother as he spoke, his tone light and bubbly. “I have to be honest brother, that shit is fun.”

The seating arrangements were quite tricky but we still ended up at a good seat. And soon, the show started. "Hello everyone, my name is Justin and I'm your comedian for today." He said and the crowd roared with applause. "So something happened to me a week ago that I want to share with you lot." He began. "My girlfriend dog died and I got her another one but she was upset." "I asked her why.." "And she screamed - what would I do with two dead dogs?" Justin said and the crowd roared with laughter. I laughed too. I've always found dark humor funny anyways. I looked to my side where Eve sat but she didn't seem amused at all.