Darkest Jokes Novels & Stories

I love it when Jorge smiles at me. We were laughing about my latest pay in Cards Against Humanity. The black card asked us to complete the sentence, “Nothing in life is certain except death and ….” I put “kids with ass cancer.” “Damn girl, you are against humanity,” Jorge joked, laughing like music to my ears. “Sorry, I didn’t have anything else,” I laughed back. Stretch my legs out and Jorge picks them up. He starts rubbing my ankles. “I can’t believe my pregnant sister made that joke,” Solen choked out as he laughed.

Max looked amused and a little puzzled, and I was flabbergasted into silence. “And you lot think I am crazy!” I suddenly burst out laughing, but none of them were laughing with me. This was a cruel joke. They were playing a cruel joke on me. They wanted me to believe that I was more than I was. I was just hurt that Max would be a part of such a horrific joke!

Just a curated myth of wealth and control. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. This wasn’t a G****e job. She launched her encrypted browser and typed in "Rehabilitation Society." Dead links. Old threads. Wiped pages. Then—something. A forum tucked inside a forgotten corner of the dark web: Echoes of Control. She clicked. At the top of a buried thread was a blurry photograph—Adrian Blackwood, unmistakably tall and sharply dressed, surrounded by others in formal wear. The caption made her stomach twist:

“Lies! He takes longer showers than I do. Claims it’s ‘thinking time.’” The audience laughed. Jada: “Biggest pet peeve?” Marlene: “He leaves coffee mugs everywhere.” Me: “She steals my hoodies and never gives them back.” More laughter followed from the audience. Jada: “Dream vacation?” Both of us, at the same time: “Anywhere quiet.” The crowd went “aww” again. Last question: “What’s next for you two?” Marlene looked at me, eyes soft. “Building a life,” she said simply. “The one we want. Not the one anyone else expects.”

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

Now that I know his deepest, darkest secret, I'm sure he wouldn't think twice to end me just so he could keep it for the rest of his life. Aargh! I groaned loudly, feeling frustrated at how I am still horny despite thinking about my own death in his hands. I saw him look at me through my peripheral vision but I didn't bother to glance back. To say I am embarrassed was an understatement. I'm pathetic!

“I do not fall.” There was a pause. “No,” he said calmly. “You just look very funny while slipping.” The line went dead. I stood there for a long time. Then I began laughing again. Because if I did not laugh, I might start screaming. The televisions behind me kept talking. The city kept moving and for the first time in my life, I understood what it felt like to be the joke. But jokes can turn dark very quickly and I am very good at dark.

"He has a very small dick and collapses after the first round. He has a weak wolf." I couldn't hold back the laughter, "but you stuck to him." "That was because I had fallen in love with him. I didn't mind enduring that much with him." "Can I make a dark joke?" I asked. She raised a suspicious brow, "Okay, let's hear it." I giggled wickedly, "You would have taken the same step your mum did if you ended up with that man." Raven's silence scared me at first, as I thought she didn't take the joke lightly.

He added and Arya chukled. "He wanted to announce to all the boys that I'm off the hook, and If anyone comes even 30 feets close to me, he will dig out their intestines, feed it to them and watch them eat it while they die," Arya replied and he bursted into laughter. "What!!! Your brother is really something else," Jeremy said laughing uncontrollably. "He has always been like that, I'm used to it already," she replied. "He's one of the many reasons I stayed away from you, his sharp claws are always ready to tear anyone that comes close to you, I couldn't deal," Jeremy said.