Death Humor Quotes Novels & Stories

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the buggers." Memorable Quotes "Scattered showers my ass!" Noah. "I have no problem with you talking to yourself as long as it doesn't turn into an argument" Woody Allen. "If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Then quit. There's no point being a damn fool about it." W.C.Fields. "The one thing that all porn stars have in common is a dread of filming the scenes that don't involve sex" Fanny Lightfoot (Porn Movie Director) "For every human problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

“Right, let me remind you something. You better not resist like last time. You’d die horribly if you do!” Yuri crossed his arms, sporting a determined look. “Is that so? That won’t be good. It’d be hard for you to be buried if you died that way. Make sure you die less horribly, okay?” Harvey retorted. “Heh.” Yuri chuckled coldly. “I’ve seen a lot of idiots in my life, but you’re the biggest one out of all of them! Since you want to die that badly, then don’t blame me for what happens next!”

If you're really a Ford, I'll let you use my head as a soccer ball. The room burst into laughter. Mia's face darkened. Her voice turned cold. "Logan, enough. Keep this up and I'm really breaking up with you." My consciousness started fading. My limbs turned cold. Darkness crept into my vision. With difficulty, I turned toward a blurry figure near the doorway. Using the last of my strength, I forced out: "Help... me..." Aaron burst out laughing. "Who's going to save you? Your fans?" The crowd laughed as they shoved me back into the liquor again.

This was the most bizarre night of my life. "Are you…I'm sorry…Are you asking me, if you sexed a demon so good, you killed them?" "You're laughing but a man died today," she said solemnly. "Your laughing but I felt a man cum and die." "I'm…you're right, my apologies. Well, if it's any consolation, knowing Zee, he was probably very honored to spend his last moments doing what he loved best. But, I wouldn't fret too much here. Knowing Zee he's probably very much alive elsewhere, and this was only a minor inconvenience for the man. He's probably laughing it up."

Hopeless to call on Dean, it'd only distract him. You know how people say, you only know what you have when you lose it? I guess, it was then I appreciated the friendship with Dean. My life back on earth, everything. I could remember Dean licking ice cream for the first time as it fell on his shirt and he licked it. Said, nothing this delicious should go to waste. I laughed, but no sound came out. It was funny, being in front of death yet only happy memories I thought about. Life is funny like that, you only remember the best, when you're faced with the worst case scenario. You laugh out loud when you're dying, not because you're happy, but because death is comical.

I could literally die if I fuck up more than I’ve been doing…but, I can’t tell him that. “I’m here, okay? No matter what, you have me.” He looks me right in the eye, assuring me tenderly with a smile this time. “But damn, you really do look like shit right now, and when was the last time you used deodorant?” His unconventional joke in my time of sadness makes me break into laughter. It wasn’t funny but it was whatever it was and it makes me laugh. I just needed to laugh. It rolls out of me effortlessly, like everything was with Adam. While I choke on my saliva, he watches me, amused for the duration of my chuckling.

After Jessica recovered, she smiled, "Who knew he had it in him to crack funny jokes, Mr. Hemsworth?" He arched a brow up and replied teasingly, "Who said I was joking, though?" Jessica smiled and shook her head, "Oh My, It has been a long time since I laughed that hard. Thank you for that." Mr. Hemsworth nodded in response, patting her shoulders, "We all need some good laughs even in the midst of dire situations; laughter, they say, is medicine for the soul." "You are right," Jessica responded as she glanced at her wristwatch, "now I better get going. I have a husband to take care of and a speech to prepare," she added in high spirits.

She said that and I started dying on the floor, that was probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. "That is the fucking stoner spectrum!! Either you're a fucking Einstein or a fucking retard that tried to play baseball with a robot," I said, laughing through my words, causing Alex to break too, laughing and pointing out how fucked up my sense of humor is, "It's not my fault! Imagine having a fucked up humor before going through the dungeons of hell to become an arch-demon." "Tha-That's fair but still, that's fucked!" "Fuck me, that was funny," I said and the look I got from Alex scared the fuck outta me, she looked hungry but also cautious, "You good?"

His comment made the 30 over Rank 3 Mad Ox Dark Race beings laugh even louder. "Hahahaha!" It was as though they had never heard such a hilarious joke before. "Hey human, I guess you won't be scared unless you see your life flash before you. How dare you spout out big words when you're about to be our food?" Lucas' stunning face let out a smile as he said, "I won't let out a single tear even if death awaits me. That’s because that time will never come."

“Uh…air. Just air.” He glanced up then, suspicious. “You’re strange.” “I get that a lot.” [System Tip: Try humor using self-deprecation. Humans find it relatable.] I sighed. “Dream, if I die under your management, tell my funeral guests I was killed by deadlines and your resting glare.” His fingers paused on the keyboard. One heartbeat. Two. Then, very faintly, almost inaudibly, he exhaled through his nose. [System Alert: Micro-laugh detected. Progress 75%.]