Depressing Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

Laughing? No fucking way!

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

He started again, his stance switching from playful to serious in one second. I don't want to talk about it. Is that so hard to ask for? "Yeah, that talk." I said flatly after him. "Aw, don't sound so depressed, it's for a good reason." He purposed, trying not to laugh at my facial expression. "I sound so depressed cause I am actually depressed." I said flatly, burrowing more comfortably into the sofa. "I kinda figured this out, we're all depressed anyways." He replied, shrugging his shoulders along with what he was saying.

“Uh…air. Just air.” He glanced up then, suspicious. “You’re strange.” “I get that a lot.” [System Tip: Try humor using self-deprecation. Humans find it relatable.] I sighed. “Dream, if I die under your management, tell my funeral guests I was killed by deadlines and your resting glare.” His fingers paused on the keyboard. One heartbeat. Two. Then, very faintly, almost inaudibly, he exhaled through his nose. [System Alert: Micro-laugh detected. Progress 75%.]

I shook my head and went to sit across Audrey. She was laughing at the quotes on the wall. “These are hilarious,” she said, reading one aloud: ‘I don’t need you to brag about me, I just don’t want you to deny me in front of people. – FART!’ Her laughter burst out, filling the café. I just stared, completely captivated. Every laugh, every sparkle in her eyes, it was contagious. “Here’s another one!” she giggled. ‘What a life! Eggs every single day… eggs, eggs, eggs… Do you know who said that?’ Her eyes gleamed mischievously.

“ Now that you know, it feels less lonely.” “ We have to try and get you treated…” He cackled and shut his lips, subduing a laugh. I stared at him puzzledly. There is nothing funny about what he's going through. “ You think it's funny that you are dying?” He shook his head. “ The fact that you think that a remedy will jump down from the sky for my own sake, meanwhile you haven't spoken about yours…son. That is funny.” “ You can't give up just yet.”

"This is not funny, so stop laughing, this is too much." "I know, but she means well, it is obvious she is doing a terrible job at showing that, but she is really about this shell you have crawled into, and if I didn't know you so well I would say you are starting to act like some depressed old woman" She replied. "Fuck you" I cursed out as she laughed loudly. "You could try talking to her, though, you both may come to an agreement that suits you both," She advised. "You know what, I would do just that."

The quote for this picture said: Don’t take life too seriously. You’re not getting out of it alive. From the passenger seat, Isobel burst out laughing. “Oh my God, that’s hilarious.” Holding her side, she rolled to face me. “Who is it a quote from?” Her eyes glittered with joy and I had to admit, it felt nice, knowing she realized I’d made sure to find out the answer to that question already. “Elbert Hubbard,” I said. “Or at least, it’s similar to one of his quotes.”

We all knew he was hinting at Hope’s upcoming engagement. “What? Me, feel down?” Hope chuckled. “Not a chance! Even if the whole world bullied me, I’d still be like Uncle Ryan—never sad, just laughing it off. I’m all about living life to the foolest! F-O-O-L-E-S-T! Foolest!” “Your brain cells are fried, Hope. It’s the fullest! F-U-L-L-E-S-T!” Love corrected him. “Boring if it’s to the fullest! It should be the foolest! Sometimes, I imagine if everyone in the world was just a little silly. It’d be so much fun on Earth—just laughter, no stress, no depression.”

The camper van was filled with a lot of laughter and everyone seemed to be avoiding to bring back the topic that they have finished discussing. Why depress themselves when they can be happy and kick asses when time is due?