Drunk Funny Stories Novels & Stories

"Well that just cruel who knew I will be accused of murdering a pretty girl twice in one night " "That's not my normal Friday night if you ask me , Tuesday nights yes but not Friday" he says which makes me laugh at his joke . "Well sorry for that I will come back on Tuesday"I say with a laugh and he cackles like what I said was the funniest. "You are a funny girl you know that and by the way it actually the latter " "I don't give away free drinks to all the pretty girls I meet because in an exclusive club like this, you meet a lot but sometimes"

Sounds of plates and wooden utensils rattled against each other, along with curses and slurred words ringing throughout the room as drunken men bragged on about their exploits to other lands, while prostitutes and servers alike hang on to every word like one does with a gossip. The bartender-a scraggy old man of mid 80’s shook his head at the chaos in his tavern and continued on cleaning the drinking keg in his hand, muttering at the sheer absurdity that some of the tales he was hearing.

Rehana had already passed out while Rudra was talking. Rudra and Anu shared some of their high school stories, most of them were embarrassing. Ana turned all red when Rudra told us how she went strip poking in front her landlady when she was drunk. I had to bite my lips to the point they bled, to stifle my laughter. "That must be quite a show." I added while chuckling. "Oh, Shut up, not you too." My wife groaned beside me. "Actually it's fine you can do that again if you want, just make sure I am in the audience. The only audience to be more precise."

"The hospital arranged for a driver. They’re definitely going to have us drink later. Just a heads-up—I’m not good with alcohol. Please don’t make me drink too much, especially you guys. If I lose control after drinking, don’t blame me." "Haha..." Everyone burst into laughter. Someone chimed in, "Are you issuing a warning before you misbehave?" "I’m just saying, don’t push me. If you do, and I drink too much, I’ll come after whoever made me drink." "In that case, I’ll drink for you," a male nurse joked. The laughter grew louder. The female nurse playfully hit him, and the two started bickering. The onlookers joined in, teasing, "Why don’t you two just get married here and now? Dr. Lane and D

He then said, “Well, okay, after you left with the girl, I was throwing up like a pig. Luckily the very nice girls from the brothel got me a couple of aspirin and a taxi.” I told you it was a bad idea to keep drinking,” I said in a mocking tone. “ “Shut up, ass face, you drank more than I did,” Jaime said, to which he couldn't help but laugh, following, I could hear Jaime's screams complaining, but I preferred to put the phone away and keep on laughing. The screams went away, so I put the receiver back to my ear.“Leaving the jokes aside, how are you doing with the story” He asked.

If dogs could roll their eyes, this one would have done so. “Coward!” Mellisa screamed at the dog. And that wasn’t the end of it. Mellisa found herself inspired by an old joke involving a drunken goat. Spying a glass of foamy beer nearby, she couldn't resist the opportunity to bring the humor to life. Turning to what she believed was a stranger, Mellisa grabbed the white sleeve of the unsuspecting individual. She initiated the quirky exchange. "Hey, have you ever heard about the drunk goat?" The stranger, intrigued by the unexpected question, smiled and admitted that he was unfamiliar with the tale. “I sure have not. Educate me.”

Luna asked doubtfully. Jane fell silent. She then nodded slowly. "Many things can happen when someone is drunk. Most of them lose control of themselves and do what their subconscious thinks. It's not uncommon for people to do strange, embarrassing, and even criminal acts when they're drunk." Jane explained. Luna took a deep breath. If something like this happened by accident, Luna would just forget about it. She didn't want to complicate matters by exaggerating the matter.

Our regular day drunk walks into the bar, which catches our attention. "You attend to him." We say simultaneously as we point at each other. "I said it first," Jean says as the man approaches them. "Plus, don't you need to appear busy for Jeff?" This guy comes in every day, and loves to tell stories when he is drunk. The problem is that he repeats his stories and it's now boring. Neither Jean nor I want to be stuck listening to the same stories for hours. "Fuck off." I cuss.

I shook my head, feeling nothing but pure humiliation surging through me. He twirled himself under my arm, and I burst out laughing, unable to help it. The guy was a comedy legend, stone-cold sober, but he was a scream when he was drunk. I had to gasp for air because I laughed so hard, my stomach muscles hurt. I couldn’t see anything because my eyes were filled with mirthful tears. He would not remember this in the morning. I doubt he would believe me even if I told him. “Aww, man, you’re so wasted.” I grinned.

Some jackass did 14 jello shots in the span of an hour thinking they weren’t all that strong. Then that jackass decided to puke in the kitchen sink and all over the front porch. The vomit was this nasty, congealed mix of vodka, jello, and beer. He left the party and out of the blue he had only one shoe. 😂 Then there was this other asshole who went straight through the fridge. As they were watching him from across the room, he grabbed a full bottle of Italian dressing and chugged the whole thing. He walked out like it was completely normal behavior.