Filipino Corny Jokes

[FILIPINO] Jeanna De Lara is stuck to her past love. Hindi man niya binibigyan ng pansin; alam niyang malaki ang nagawa ng nakaraan sa kanya—lalong-lalo na sa pagtitiwala at pagmamahal muli ng iba. Moving on seems impossible alone. Hindi na masama kung may darating para tumulong na sa kanya.At nangyari iyon dahil sa isang pulang stiletto! She finally had the chance to meet someone who could possibly be her solution... or not.Kieth Leandro Montelvaro is one silent killer. Literal na mas gusto niyang manatiling tahimik lang para sa tahimik niyang buhay. But Fate seems to plan something else for him. Kahit kailan ay hindi niya naisip na darating ang babaeng makakatapat niya at nakakapagpabago sa lahat. She brought change—and a lot of trouble.With that faithful red stiletto, their lives collides into a very life-changing situation.Love. Trauma. Lies. Right timing.Saan nga ba hahantong ang kwentong noong una pa lang ay hindi na sana nabuo?

As an avid fan of the well - known Filipino singer-songwriter, actor, and model Michael Hugh Perez, Hera Ashley couldn't resists his charm the first time she met him in person. To what extent will she express her love and adoration? What if she's just confused admiration with love? When the table turned, it was only then she realized her true love for her friend Zanjoe.. her blanket, her umbrella and savior. Before she knew it, he was already gone. Is it too late then?

"Stop right there, Evan! You can't fool me." Grace stretched out her hands to the right and left, preventing her best friend from leaving. "I know you're hiding something." Evan crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be so confident. And please, know your place. I have the power to replace you with anyone else." He leaned toward her and whispered to her ear. "Or, are you trying to seduce me? How much is your rate for one night?" Upon hearing it, Grace gave him a smack across the face. She was silent for a moment in disbelief. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You're so mean, Evan. I-hate-you," she said, heartbroken. She turned away from him without further ado. Evan teared up too, looking at his best friend leaving. "I'm sorry, Grace. I had to do it. We can't be together," he said weakly. Grace and Evan became best friends after he saved her and her mother following a traffic collision. Their friendship grew stronger for years until they became inseparably fond of each other. However, fate played jokes on them. They had to separate for years, lose contact and bury their dreams. When they finally reunited in the same workplace, everything was not the same as it used to be.

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Praia was still grieving for her beloved father's death when problems flooded on her and she discovered that her family wasn't perfect as she think it is because her dad has a mistress— Florence. At first, she was mad that she wished not to see that woman but upon learning that Florence is the only key to her mother's freedom, napilitan syang hanapin ito. Kaya lang para syang naghahagilap ng multo dahil wala syang makuhang kahit na ano maliban sa apelido nito. She decided to take a risk and seduce Florence's older brother Zurich who was attracted to her para makalapit sa pamilya nito at makuha ang mga sagot na hinahanap. In other words, she played fire with him. May nakapagsabi sa kanya na masamang maglaro ng apoy at nangako sya na palaging maghahanda ng fire extinguisher para hindi sya nagawang saktan ng apoy na pinaglalaruan. Pero mukhang mahihirapan syang panindigan iyon dahil unti-unti na nyang nagugustuhan ang nararamdamang init. Can she put her tempting boss to the fire of seduction before she gets herself burned into the flame of her very own dangerous game? Warning: R18 Language: Filipino

BREAKING NEWS PHILIPPINES. "Maagang nagkatraffic sa kahabaan ng EDSA at sa ibang bahagi ng Metro Manila. Dahil ito sa pagrarally ng maraming mga Filipino. Isinisigaw nila na bumaba raw si pangulong Chavez sa kaniyang position sa palasyo ng Malacanang. Nang daraya raw kasi ito sa election kaya nanalo sa pagkapangulo. Sa ngayon ay hindi maawat ng mga awtoridad ang napakaraming mga Filipino na nagrarally sa harapan ng palasyo. Paulit-ulit na isinisigaw nila na bumabana raw si pangulong Chavez sa kaniyang pagkapresidente. Nakakamanghang isipin na nagkakaisa ngayon ang mga Filipino para pabagsakin ang administration Chavez. Maging ang mga OFW sa ibang bansa ay nauna nang nagrally ang mga ito kahapon. Isinisigaw rin nila na bumabana si pangulong Chavez sa kaniyang position. Ganoon na lamang ang pagkamuhi ng mga Filipino sa pandarayang ginawa ni President Chavez sa election. Sa ngayon patuloy ang pagprotesta ng mga Filipino laban sa administration Chavez. Ikinagulat ng lahat ang nangyayari sa kasalukuyan. Tinawag na rin ito na People Power Number three of the Philippines. Sigaw naman ng iba ay itigil na raw ang pagpuprotesta dahil marami nang nasasaktan. Pero sabi ng mga nagrarally. Hindi raw sila titigil hangga't hindi raw si President Chavez bumababa sa kaniyang position sa palasyo ng Malacanang." END OF BREAKING NEWS PHILIPPINES "A poor creature begging on her death. But sorry! Welcome to the hell!" Chavez really want to kill me merciless. Nakatutok lamang ang hawak niyang baril sa noo ko. Nag-uumigting ang panga niya sa galit. Patuloy ang pag-iyak ni Dave habang tinatawag niya ako. Wala akong magawa dahil mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ni Chavez sa buhok ko. Nasasaktan ako ng sobra. I know this is my death. "Patayin niyo na ako! Handa akong gawin ang lahat kapalit ng buhay ng anak ko! Pakawalan niyo lang siya! Nagmamakaawa ako!"

Anne came from an Island in the province of Leyte. She was raised by an old couple who wasn't blessed with child. Nang mapalayas sila sa kanilang bahay, nagpasya sila na lumuwas ng Manila upang doon makipagsapalaran. Napadpad sila sa Quiapo. Upang mabuhay, nagbenta sila ng mga halamang gamot at kung ano-ano pa. Doon nakilala ni Anne si Rose, isang nakakatuwang babae na mayroong guwapong asawa at higit sa lahat bilyonaryo. The kind woman take her into her house and offered her a job. At doon niya nakilala ang guwapong si Craig, na huli na niyang napagtanto na hindi pala Craig ang pangalan nito kundi Marko. Paano niya mababawi ang gayuma na napainom niya kay Craig dahil sa pag-aakalang siya si Marko? Na inakala niyang si Craig. Ang gulo! Pero mas magulo pa ang isip niya dahil pakiramdam niya tumatalab na ang gayuma na napainom niya kay Craig dahil wala ng ginawa ito kundi ang buntutan siya at hiritan ng kaniyang mga corny na pick up lines. "Miss, may mapa ka ba diyan? Gusto ko kasing malaman ang tamang daan papunta sa puso mo."

Harper Parisi was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Bilang anak ng Senador, nakukuha niya ang lahat ng anumang gustuhin niya. From being the latest luxury bags to eye-catching dresses, name it all and she have it. When she met Wyatt, she said to herself that she will make him fall in love--- by hook or by crook. But when the secrets of her past started unfolding, how would the Senator's daughter handle everything knowing that the ties that bound her and Wyatt involves her father's wrongdoing? The Senator's Daughter by: untoldjins FILIPINO • R18+

Eva Vergara is an orphan, craving love and family. She vowed to have a complete and happy family of her own and to never let anything tear her family apart. Then she met Jack Dizon, a charismatic young man with a promise of love and a happy family. But what if her prince charming was an evil incarnate? How can she survive for the sake of her only daughter? Will she have the guts to leave? Marcus Sullivan, Jack's childhood friend. A first-hand witness of Jacks evil. Marcus's sister died because of physical abuse from her husband. Marcus blamed himself. So he saves Eva and promised to love her. Can he keep his promise? Or is it just another nonsense? Norman Rosebush, a Filipino doctor from the states. He decided to come home after his wife cheated on him with his closest friend. What if Norman and Eva's path crossed? Can he save Eva from drowning in pain? Will he successfully show her that life is still worth living?