Filipino Corny Jokes

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Praia was still grieving for her beloved father's death when problems flooded on her and she discovered that her family wasn't perfect as she think it is because her dad has a mistress— Florence. At first, she was mad that she wished not to see that woman but upon learning that Florence is the only key to her mother's freedom, napilitan syang hanapin ito. Kaya lang para syang naghahagilap ng multo dahil wala syang makuhang kahit na ano maliban sa apelido nito. She decided to take a risk and seduce Florence's older brother Zurich who was attracted to her para makalapit sa pamilya nito at makuha ang mga sagot na hinahanap. In other words, she played fire with him. May nakapagsabi sa kanya na masamang maglaro ng apoy at nangako sya na palaging maghahanda ng fire extinguisher para hindi sya nagawang saktan ng apoy na pinaglalaruan. Pero mukhang mahihirapan syang panindigan iyon dahil unti-unti na nyang nagugustuhan ang nararamdamang init. Can she put her tempting boss to the fire of seduction before she gets herself burned into the flame of her very own dangerous game? Warning: R18 Language: Filipino

BREAKING NEWS PHILIPPINES. "Maagang nagkatraffic sa kahabaan ng EDSA at sa ibang bahagi ng Metro Manila. Dahil ito sa pagrarally ng maraming mga Filipino. Isinisigaw nila na bumaba raw si pangulong Chavez sa kaniyang position sa palasyo ng Malacanang. Nang daraya raw kasi ito sa election kaya nanalo sa pagkapangulo. Sa ngayon ay hindi maawat ng mga awtoridad ang napakaraming mga Filipino na nagrarally sa harapan ng palasyo. Paulit-ulit na isinisigaw nila na bumabana raw si pangulong Chavez sa kaniyang pagkapresidente. Nakakamanghang isipin na nagkakaisa ngayon ang mga Filipino para pabagsakin ang administration Chavez. Maging ang mga OFW sa ibang bansa ay nauna nang nagrally ang mga ito kahapon. Isinisigaw rin nila na bumabana si pangulong Chavez sa kaniyang position. Ganoon na lamang ang pagkamuhi ng mga Filipino sa pandarayang ginawa ni President Chavez sa election. Sa ngayon patuloy ang pagprotesta ng mga Filipino laban sa administration Chavez. Ikinagulat ng lahat ang nangyayari sa kasalukuyan. Tinawag na rin ito na People Power Number three of the Philippines. Sigaw naman ng iba ay itigil na raw ang pagpuprotesta dahil marami nang nasasaktan. Pero sabi ng mga nagrarally. Hindi raw sila titigil hangga't hindi raw si President Chavez bumababa sa kaniyang position sa palasyo ng Malacanang." END OF BREAKING NEWS PHILIPPINES "A poor creature begging on her death. But sorry! Welcome to the hell!" Chavez really want to kill me merciless. Nakatutok lamang ang hawak niyang baril sa noo ko. Nag-uumigting ang panga niya sa galit. Patuloy ang pag-iyak ni Dave habang tinatawag niya ako. Wala akong magawa dahil mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ni Chavez sa buhok ko. Nasasaktan ako ng sobra. I know this is my death. "Patayin niyo na ako! Handa akong gawin ang lahat kapalit ng buhay ng anak ko! Pakawalan niyo lang siya! Nagmamakaawa ako!"

Harper Parisi was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Bilang anak ng Senador, nakukuha niya ang lahat ng anumang gustuhin niya. From being the latest luxury bags to eye-catching dresses, name it all and she have it. When she met Wyatt, she said to herself that she will make him fall in love--- by hook or by crook. But when the secrets of her past started unfolding, how would the Senator's daughter handle everything knowing that the ties that bound her and Wyatt involves her father's wrongdoing? The Senator's Daughter by: untoldjins FILIPINO • R18+

Eva Vergara is an orphan, craving love and family. She vowed to have a complete and happy family of her own and to never let anything tear her family apart. Then she met Jack Dizon, a charismatic young man with a promise of love and a happy family. But what if her prince charming was an evil incarnate? How can she survive for the sake of her only daughter? Will she have the guts to leave? Marcus Sullivan, Jack's childhood friend. A first-hand witness of Jacks evil. Marcus's sister died because of physical abuse from her husband. Marcus blamed himself. So he saves Eva and promised to love her. Can he keep his promise? Or is it just another nonsense? Norman Rosebush, a Filipino doctor from the states. He decided to come home after his wife cheated on him with his closest friend. What if Norman and Eva's path crossed? Can he save Eva from drowning in pain? Will he successfully show her that life is still worth living?

Logan Yu, nag iisang anak ng at tagapagmaan ng angkan ng mga Yu. Logan is a half Filipino and half chinese. Logan never felt loved by his parents. Dahil sa naranasan na treatment naganrap na ang binata ng simpleng buhay pero buo at masayang pamilya. Cristine Ally Perez a hopeless case, but now Ally is ready to get the revenge sa mga taong binawi ang saya niya mula pa kamusmusan. Hahanapin ni Ally ang mga dahilan at kasangkot ng pagiging ulila sa kapatid na hindi niya alam ay tunay niya palang ina. Ang nakaraan nga talaga ata ang hahadlang sa ligaya niya. Ngunit hindi naman uso kay Logan ang sumuko at iwan na lang basta ang pangako niya sa babaeng nakikita at alam na alam niyang tanging mag bibigay ng ligaya sa kanya na matagal ng hangad. Ang puso nga ang tunay na magdidikta kung ano at paano mananaig ang pag-ibig nila. Ilalaban ang alam na tama makamit lang ang kanyang nag iisang My Only Probinsyana..

It’s all fun and games until a body washes up…. Beth Monroe just wants to make it through the summer baseball season without being the constant target of her brother Shane’s jokes, but he is relentless, and she’s ready to lock herself in her room and hide. Until the new girl shows up. Halley appears in small town Barryville like a ghost. No one knows where she came from or anything about her past, not even her last name. When she gives Beth a piece of unsolicited advice that, “It’s what’s on the outside that counts,” Beth changes everything about herself. By the time Beth realizes she’s becoming a monster, it might be too late, and Halley has already sunk her claws into Beth’s best friend Ryan—who might’ve been something more if Beth had opened her eyes a little earlier. As Halley’s past catches up to her, Beth realizes there’s more to this mysterious girl than she realized. Can she stop Halley from revealing her true, monstrous nature to Ryan before it’s too late?

Anne came from an Island in the province of Leyte. She was raised by an old couple who wasn't blessed with child. Nang mapalayas sila sa kanilang bahay, nagpasya sila na lumuwas ng Manila upang doon makipagsapalaran. Napadpad sila sa Quiapo. Upang mabuhay, nagbenta sila ng mga halamang gamot at kung ano-ano pa. Doon nakilala ni Anne si Rose, isang nakakatuwang babae na mayroong guwapong asawa at higit sa lahat bilyonaryo. The kind woman take her into her house and offered her a job. At doon niya nakilala ang guwapong si Craig, na huli na niyang napagtanto na hindi pala Craig ang pangalan nito kundi Marko. Paano niya mababawi ang gayuma na napainom niya kay Craig dahil sa pag-aakalang siya si Marko? Na inakala niyang si Craig. Ang gulo! Pero mas magulo pa ang isip niya dahil pakiramdam niya tumatalab na ang gayuma na napainom niya kay Craig dahil wala ng ginawa ito kundi ang buntutan siya at hiritan ng kaniyang mga corny na pick up lines. "Miss, may mapa ka ba diyan? Gusto ko kasing malaman ang tamang daan papunta sa puso mo."

"What do you mean. I have to marry you?"I asked as he faced me with a very dirty glare. "You'll just have to accept it missy". "What if I don't?"I asked folding my hands underneath my breast. "Then you'll have to pay me the money you owe me" "But I don't have such money " I whined. "Then face the consequences. You'll get jailed"His thick voice sent shivers down my spine. "You said it's just a few months stuff right?"I asked taking my eyes down to the ground. "A year to be precise" Well I'm Brianna Salvador and I just landed myself in huge trouble. I didn't mean to break his car. I just got angry so I hit it so hard with a rock and it broke. Brianna Salvador is a half American and half Filipino, she's out to make ends meet and prove to her parents that she can also become independent but when she gets herself into a huge problem she's forced to get married to an Italian demigod Diego De Lucas. Is an Italian business man out to take what belongs to him. He's inheritance is siezd by his grandmother and the only way to get it back is if he gets married and begins a family. He meets Brianna in a very odd way and decides to marry her to get his fortune back.

She is a free spirit, trapped in a bird cage of death, danger and despair. Little Alessa has always known one thing above all- she was born to be the perfect Principessa of the Cosa Nostra, the Italian Mafia. She was urged to smile when asked to, laugh even when the jokes were anything but funny, charming to all who were allies. She was perfection incarnate...well, that's what they think. They know nothing of her wild abandon, of her plans to be anything but the perfect princess, royalty of a world dredged so deep in blood, she choked on it. Her plans to run were absolute...well, until HE came along. The mysterious Pakan-a Don like her father- shielded by the shadows that he ruled from. He was the anomaly that she least expected. He destroyed her plans and she hated him for it. So why then does her heart beat so fast when he is near? Why is he the one she thinks about before she sleeps? Why does she so long to see him when she's sad? She wanted the freedom, the life beyond the shadows and explore the world. But Emerald colored eyes, cocky smirks, rough hands, cigarettes and darkness were starting to look a little more appealing...