Funniest Cartman Novels & Stories

It feels so ordinary that part of me keeps waiting for something terrible to happen. Maybe that's why I'm laughing so hard when Leo completely loses his dignity. All I did was tell him about how I got to watch Corrian and Jax and how it helped me sleep for 13 hours. It’s not my fault Leo made a strangled noise and a fluffy tail appeared behind him, knocking the grocery bags out the car as he tried to get out and lost basic motor control. "Oh my God." I’m doubled over laughing. "Oh my God, that is the funniest thing I've ever seen."

In fact, I haven’t been on in… oh… six years, at least. As soon as Grant sees a picture of Will Ferrell doing a beer bong hit, he says, “Seriously? This is your secret hacking lair?” I click the mouse and Al Pacino yells, “Shut UP!” Grant sighs. “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of…” I click again. “I don’t wanna hear any fuckin’ shit, and I don’t GIVE a shit!” JP snorts in amusement. Grant glares at him. “This is not funny. This is idiotic.”

I asked him. “What's so funny?” he asked, irritation laced in his voice. “You're so funny, uncle. Sometimes, I wonder why you didn't go into comedy.” sarcasm dripped as I spoke. “Your highly respected Karl Palmer has been arrested and you are here laughing. What's so funny?” “Why would anyone dare to arrest Karl Palmer? Can't you just think of anything else that could sound real?” he spat. “You know what else won't be real to you? Your life in jail,” I countered.

snickering the golden boy threw his head back " God , how do you even fuck that bitch ? her hole is big enough to fit two of me or maybe your pencil c*ck is too small and you don't feel a thing " Some Longhorns gasped while the other snickered along with Jacob , hooting and jeering at Shotton . Understandably , Shotton who was being made the joke of the evening trembled in anger and the video shook even more but that lasted only for a few seconds , before it stabilised . " Oh yeah , you think that you are the shit huh , Knight ?" hollered Shotton " well news flash , you ain't on the top of the list anymore . "

Just when I thought he would put me down, he placed me inside the cart, leaving my jaw hanging open in astonishment. "You might want to sit down," he suggested, and I pursed my lips, but complied, sitting in the open area of the cart. He casually pushed the cart down the aisle, confusing me initially. But then I realized his plan when he spun the cart around and pushed it down the aisle at a lightning-fast speed. I giggled, leaning back as laughter erupted from me. A couple further up the aisle glanced at us, and the lady smiled at our silly antics. I became a giggling mess in the cart while Hayden watched me with a smirk. We reached the cereal aisle, and I hopped out, attempting to reach fo

One of Carter's brother who had blonde hair, Justin suddenly spoke, his voice filled with malice. "Yes, I'm his wife" I replied politely, choosing to ignore the tone he used on me. For some reason, my reply made them all burst into laughter, except the overly quiet guy who just sat, studying me. "Is something funny?" I asked. "I didn't know Carter's standard could go any lower, guess he's still in the business of being the worst among us. Well, I hope he treats you well." The brunette brother, Sabastein spoke this time around.

He said. Everyone glanced at me. "Oh wait. It wasn't funny." I quickly said. This time everyone laughed. Even Roman, although he tried to hide his behind his hand. At least he was being considerate about my feelings. "I can sense some double mindedness here." Carter said after his chuckling. He moved to the wood pile and picked up two sticks. "It's okay for you to admit that anything Phoenix says is the funniest thing you've ever heard." Rowena chuckled. She had a cunning expression on her face, although she was a little pale still. At least she seemed to be enjoying my misery so there was that.

"I'm not reading into anything. I'm just observing that you laughed at my joke earlier. Actually laughed, not the polite fake laugh you do when you're being professional." Carter was smiling slightly. "Made me realize I haven't heard you really laugh in years." "You made a joke about Marcus's lawyer looking like he wanted to cry. It was objectively funny." I tried to remember laughing, couldn't pinpoint the moment. "Doesn't mean anything." "Maybe not. But it was nice. Seeing you less guarded for a second." Carter went back to his food. "I miss that version of you. The one who laughed at stupid jokes and got excited about strategy sessions."

But then, something came over him, and the laughter bubbled right on out. It was an extraordinary thing actually… that he could find anything funny right now, with so much going on. The fact that it was his vehicle getting annihilated, well that was just plain insane. But he had pictured her laughing and snorting, running around and trying to be quiet while abusing his hummer… and that was just about the funniest shit he’d ever imagined.

“So tell me: what the fuck is the problem now?” Carter laughs, but it’s a cold, lopsided laugh, the kind that carries more disgust than humor. “Do you really want to convince yourself that you’ve always been like this?” He tilts his head, studying me critically. “Do you want to lie to my face and say you’re not at rock bottom?”