Funny Astrological Sign Descriptions

When they were married, billionaire tycoon Mr. Seven said, "That goth bitch is just after my money and my looks. If she dares to ever touch me, I'll chop her up into pieces."After the divorce, Mr. Seven went around telling others, "My wife has been bullied by her family all her life. She is the most gorgeous woman on earth. If you look at her funny, I'll gouge your eyes out!"Mr. Seven, do you even hear what you're saying?

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

Nate Wolf is a loner and your typical High School bad boy. He is territorial and likes to keep to himself. He leaves people alone as long as they keep their distance from him. His power of intimidation worked on everyone except for one person, Amelia Martinez. The annoying new student who was the bane of his existence. She broke his rule and won't leave him alone no matter how much he tried and eventually they became friends.As their friendship blossomed Nate felt a certain attraction towards Amelia but he was too afraid to express his feelings to her. Then one day, he found out Amelia was hiding a tragic secret underneath her cheerful mask. At that moment, Nate realized Amelia was the only person who could make him happy. Conflicted between his true feelings for her and battling his own personal demons, Nate decided to do anything to save this beautiful, sweet, and somewhat annoying girl who brightened up his life and made him feel whole again.Find my interview with Goodnovel: https://tinyurl.com/yxmz84q2

Noah Lloyd has long since gotten sick of me—we dated for three years and have been married for another three. He uses divorce to threaten me. He wants me to give up the racing championship title I risked my life to win to please his new lover. He's caught off guard when I sign the divorce papers without hesitation and kick him to the curb. Later, he comes to me with a bouquet and the ring I've discarded. He also rents massive billboards to beg me to remarry him. Asher Princeton has someone turn off all the billboards. Then, he wraps an arm around my waist and whisks me away. "Haven't you asked around about me? How dare you propose to my wife?"

Brittany is just looking for a sperm donor. 'Yung kayang mag bigay sa kanya ng isang maganda lahi. But, everything was messed up when her boss Jonathan Montejo offered his own sperm. A never-ending journey of a woman. Who was craving for a child and ended up. Pursuing love she's not prepared for.

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.

After being betrayed and threatened by her own mate, whom she had believed truly loved her, Riley is ready to leave the pack and start over, but her ex-mate wouldn't let her go just yet. In her desperate attempt to escape him, she is forced to sign a deal with the very dangerous but equally alluring Alpha Thane. . The deal was simple. Riley only had to act as the Alpha's mate for six months, and then she was free to leave with a fortune as her pay to start a new life. Alpha Thane didn't do relationships; he made that very clear to her, but he wanted her in other ways, and he was going to have her. ~ "How do I know that you won't hurt me? How do I know that I would be safe with you?" I asked, lowering my eyes. His intense gaze was on me, and he looked every bit a predator. "You are not. I am not a very gentle man, Riley, and you should know that about me. I would protect you from every other person but myself." "You would hurt me?" I asked His hands trailed down my cheeks. "Yes" . Could Riley be signing a deal with the Devil himself?

Hindi type ni Bernard ang mga babaeng masyadong bata sa kanya. Dahil ang pakiramdam niya ay magiging baby sitter lang siya ng mga ito kapag inaatake ng tantrums. Ngunit may isang babaeng gumulo sa kanya, si Marie, secretary ng dati niyang nililigawan na naging asawa ng kaibigan niya. Naiinis siya dito dahil mapang asar ito, hanggang isang gabi, bigla na lang niyang narealize na pwede pala niya itong magustuhan. At kabaliktaran ng pagkakakilala niya sa babaeng mas bata ang ugali nito, matured at maunawain ang dalaga. Kahit siya ang may kasalanan ay nagsosorry ito. Bigpang dumating ang kangyang first love, si Eleanor o mas kulala sa tawag na Ellue, akala niya, masisira ang telasyon nila dahil dito, ngunit si Marie ay siya lang ang pinapaniwalaan. Kaya naging maayos pa rin ang takbo ng relasyon nila, until makilala niya si Domeng, kahit noon lang niya nakilala ang kaibigan nito, sinakmal siya ng matinding selos, lalo pa at may mga ipinakitang pruweba sa kanya si Ellie na niloloko siya ni Marie. Lalo siyang nagalit sa babae. Ng matauhan siya sa mga nangyari, at nalaman niya ang totoo, parang huli na ang lahat. Kulang na lang isumpa siya ni Marie sa sobrang galit. Ayaw na siyang balikan ng babae. May pag asa pa kaya na mahalin siya ulit ng dalaga? Paano niya mapapatunayan ang pagmamahal dito kung pati mga kaibigan niya ayaw ng makialam sa kanila?

Charles is given his first assignment in a cult group, he is asked to murder a teenage girl, he agrees to do this since he is after the reward. What happens when he finds out that he his assignment is the only girl he has loved... He is left with two options, Either he does his assignment and loose his lover or he doesn't do it and loose his life and reward.

Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann are so very happy with their love affair. They have had five years of being alone with each other, and they have talked about having a third party in their relationship. Being bisexual they both love women but they both agree it would take someone so special to love both of them. All Millie Ashton wants is a family who loves her. Her mother has zero maternal instinct, and her two older half-sisters, twins and fashion models Pearl and Ruby, use her as a slave! After a massive row over a ruined top, Millie leaves home. On a wet and windy March day, Millie walks into what seems to be akin to a tiger's den. Superstar rock-god musicians Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann, need a housekeeper. Was looking after the twins a case of better the devil you know, or will Millie find the most wonderful family.