Funny Cartman Novels & Stories

Lucas POV “Hey guys glad you made it.” Carter had a huge forced and fake smile plastered on his face. “Did you enjoy the first act of the show? I know the second wasn’t so great.” Carter is so much out of character right now that I'm surprised that the rest of his own pack members aren't looking at him funny.

Karter jokes around the whole dinner, only pissing Lynn off a little but every time she looks at me, I give her a smile and her eyes soften. I on the other hand, love Karter’s humor. He just makes weird dad jokes sometimes and Lynn finds those the most annoying. Jayce feeds the fire though, he encourages the jokes and sometimes he catches Ryker off guard, making him laugh along. Maybe this is what Ryker meant by fun immaturity. Once we’re all done, we pile back into our cars and resume the road trip. Lunch was nice, I need to get more cinnamon roll pancakes in the future. Kehlani gets back into the drivers seat and Ryker sits at my side.

"Sorry, but your sense of humor sucks, Zachary! Keyboard emoticons are cheesy." It didn't take ten seconds for the cell phone to vibrate again. "My bunny is so mean... No big carrots for you, so... :')" I sighed and laughed at the same time, choking. I knew he was doing it on purpose. Act in a scrotum way to distract my mind. After laughing until the pain echoed in my belly, I was impressed when I found that it had worked.

I forget there is a reason they connected fast. “I am not in the mood for jokes." I warn. “And I do not mean to make jester too my Lord. Pray tell, my Lord, are we to expect some Dimitri minions in the near future." Where did I get friends like this? How is it that I am the only serious person? I face-palm myself the moment he starts to laugh. Well, maybe I should indulge in this conversation. Yelling at them does not work. Threats do not either. Hanging up cannot keep them away. But digging into their personal lives did the trick twice with Carter so maybe it would work the same way with him.

"Moms. Can't keep anything from their daughters." My eyes widened in horror. "What?! I actually passed out in front of everyone?!" He paused—too long—and then bit his lip, trying to choke back a laugh. I squinted at him. This motherfucker. "You're messing with me, aren't you?" I scowled. Carter lost it, bursting into laughter. "Took you long enough." "You are sick! That's not even funny!" He gave me a mocking bow. "Always here to serve, Hailey."

Reynold shouted to him as he made Veronica stand on her feet so he can also pinpoint the gun at her head, to make Carter lose his nerve. "I see, you told everyone that you left the mafia but it didn't seem like you did!" Carter smirked, seeing him back in action as his eyes hungrily searched Veronica for any bruise if wound. Reynold broke into fit of laughter. He laughed hard as he couldn't control it. "What are you laughing at fucker? I don't think I just said a joke" Carter shouted, his tone lethal with menace.

Had I not seen his expression earlier, I wouldn't have believed he was angry. “What took you so long? I even thought you were giving birth in there,” he joked, chuckling when I playfully punched his right arm. “Come on. No one stays in the restroom for 20 minutes, just to take a piss.” “Wait, you were actually counting?” I gaped at him, shocked. “Do you think I'm as jobless as you are?” Grumbling, he drove the cart towards the exit, nodding at the security man by the door.

he asks innocently. “A pup you dumbass,” Carter says with a smirk. I look at Carter and he just chuckles, enjoying torturing Stan instead of him being tortured. “That is amazing news – congratulations!” Stan says as he puts his hand on Carter’s shoulder. Kinsley pulls me in for a hug before Stan reaches over to hug me as well. Carter lets out a low growl, which made us all laugh.

She teased and Cartwright burst out into a peal of laughter. “Dude!” I exclaimed, “It's not funny,” I cautioned but he didn't stop. “Sorry, Mr Boner but don't worry about me, worry about yourself.” He teased loudly. Wynona giggled at his silly joke. “You made me worry for nothing.” “You must like her,” Wynona commented. “Of course, he does. She is hot.” Cartwright said.

I shouted so loud. I put my hand on my chest to check if my heart is still there. I looked at Dhaxzy who is laughing so loud while his hands are both on his tummy. Fuck, I got fooled by their cuteness. I shouted since the opening was so decent and then, suddenly a fucking nail fell and the sign of their cart fell on the pink character. Her face got wiped away and bloods were all dripping. It also happened to her friend but so much trouble. I stopped the video I could not watch this kind of cartoons. "Baby, this is not a cartoon for children. It could make you psychopath." I stated to him. He calms himself down and looked at me.