Funny Cartman Novels & Stories

he rambled on, blinking rapidly. I giggled at his words. “I mean, I don’t think I can move. You just made my brain explode with my cock,” he muttered in all seriousness, shrugging. I couldn’t help but to start laughing. “This is not funny, woman. I think you’ve broken me!” he declared, causing my giggles to become a full belly laugh. One of the things I loved about Wyatt was his sense of humor. “We better fix you quick because we’re going to be late for breakfast,” I chuckled, trying to catch my breath.

“You crashed a golf cart into the dean’s fountain.” “It was an accident.” “It was absolutely not.” “It was.” “You were racing.” “We were testing acceleration.” “You were racing.” “It was scientific.” Daniel laughed so hard I had to pull the phone away from my ear. “Scientific?” “It was.” “You launched a golf cart into a fountain.” “Technically the fountain launched itself into my path.” “Dave.” “It did.” “You’re impossible.” “I became a responsible adult.” “You became a billionaire.” “Same difference.” That made him laugh even harder.

When our lips parted we both couldn’t help the smiles that formed on our faces. “Goodnight handsome!” I giggled and slammed the door on his face. And I heard him yell through the door, “see you at the bar!” Before walking off. About a second later I heard a knock on the door and knew Liv was here. “Eeek!” She shrieked, and shoved me out of her way, sitting down on the edge of my bed. “Sooo, you know…!!!” She giggled. “If you’re referring to the Cartel then yes.” I rolled my eyes and smiled.

Although it was not on record that he killed, murdered, raped or extorted anyone unjustly, but if anyone offends him so much that he says to his followers, ‘no mercy’ then the person would be rendered useless for life whichever way he chooses. He was simply naughty and mischievous by nature. Vera snatched her hand from his grip, which he had grabbed mid-air and spitting out some funny words to him “you dare not touch me now, if you do, Martins will deal with you.” Rohan had never heard such a funny joke in his entire life. Of all the people who can deal with him was Martins. It was the joke of the century; it was so funny to him that he laughed out so hard that his assistant Omar who was on

He makes a noise of dissatisfaction at the back of his throat. “Jokes on him.” “Don’t…don’t rip it off,” I plead. He looks up at me. He looks just like he did after shoving Carter into the lake. Dangerous, smug, and far too pleased with himself. “Why not?” “Because I’ll be fucking naked?!” I hiss, my voice trembling. He clicks his tongue twice. “You’ll be naked anyway.” Laughter rises from the party behind us. Carter’s voice is the highest, I can tell he’s getting drunk already.

Joe gave a little moan as the old guy fondled Bambi’s huge jugs. “She’s got a great rack eh buddy?” Joe said to the guy sitting on his left, smiling stupidly. “You can say that again,” the man nodded, sporting an equally stupid smile. “She’s got a great rack eh buddy,” Joe repeated with a laugh, Joe wasn’t exactly the funniest guy in the world, despite his own opinion of himself. The other guy grimaced at Joe’s poor attempt at humor and diverted his attention back to Bambi as she moved on to a young man’s lap and rubbed her warm cleavage in his face.

Jeremy was waving his hand in frustration and tried to push Earl at the other side of the fence without giving up. "Is he... is he trying to find a reason to get in here..?" Jacques asked, pointing her hands at the phone. "Oh, yeah..." Scarlett rolled on the carpet holding her stomach and laughed. "Man! It's been a while since I've laughed this hard!" "Should we..." Jacques felt a little bad for Jeremy because he was laughed at like this. He probably thought it was a blind spot and tried this not knowing Bobby changed the angle of the cameras. "No need... he'll go away... But let me record this..." Bobby was excited. "I hope the little guy farts in his face... That would be amazing!"

I couldn’t help but smile back. “How are you feeling?” my mother asked Willow gently. “I’m okay. I actually feel quite good,” Willow replied. “That’s great to hear.” The atmosphere felt a bit awkward as we all struggled to reconnect. Carter, however, found a way to break the silence, “Well, while you all catch up, I’m going to take a piss.” “Come on!” “Carter!” “Seriously!” We all yelled after him as he stumbled from his seat, laughter bubbling up and helping to ease the tension.