Funny Cartman Novels & Stories

He stated his boundaries, making Cam and I laugh lightly. "Fine." "So Cam, I've got new jokes for you." "Alright, let's hear them." "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The interrupting cow." "Did you get that joke from the cartoon 'Home'?" Cam laughed. "Gee, I hoped you wouldn't know it." Rodney clapped his forehead and we all laughed.

“Sounds like a real skill set.” “Damn right it is,” a smirk stretched his upper lip. “And for a small fee—say, your number—I’d be happy to share my wisdom.” Niya exhaled sharply through her nose. Same Carter with the same dumb joke or ridiculous story. Annoyingly good at making people laugh, he had a way of sensually flirting with every new girl that set foot in the store. He was never outright sleazy, just smooth enough to make it all seem harmless. And as much as Niya hated to admit it, he was funny. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t disgusted just thinking about it.

He froze. "You-. can-. See-. Me-. Right? Kiikikikik." He thinks this is the end of his life that he always longed for, but still, it's pathetic if he dies due to a paranormal experience like this. As he accepted his destiny, he heard chuckles from various directions. “Pfft-haha. Hahahahaha." “Hahahaha Havi, you are funny!” “Did you catch it on camera? His face is so tense! You're nuts, dude! Ha ha ha ha!" Clement laughed so hard that he even clutched his stomach.

Carter said with a smirk, “You seem to think that this company can’t function without you,” “No, this company can’t function without YOU. I think you’re the one who can’t function without me,” He said then paused for a moment before adding, “Wait! Isn’t that the same thing? The company really can’t function without me,” “You’re a conceited asshole,” Vincent said with a chuckle as he leaned back on the couch seeming to enjoy the banter. “I have to be in order to live with a jerk like you,” Carter answered. Then both men chuckled and sighed after that as if they had their doze of banter for the day after holding back for so long,

Bradley Fry, my CEO husband, loves bringing his friends home for meals the most. He claims that this makes them feel like an actual family. As they drink in the feast I've whipped up for everyone, one of Bradley's friends comments smilingly, "I knew that you were a virtuous one, Emily! Now this is how the legitimate wife should act!" My expression doesn't falter as I ask in a half-joking manner, "Oh? Does Bradley have a spoiled and pampered mistress by his side, then?" His friends are stunned by my question. A trace of panic crosses their eyes simultaneously. But Bradley just wraps an arm around my shoulders with a smile. "Don't listen to their nonsense, Emily. Who else is worthy as my

“Mia challenged me to a style-off and Carter agreed. The makeover of Darius Carathurs has suddenly become a competition between me and my intern. How the fuck am I going to polish that turd?” Parker laughed. It wasn’t just a polite chuckle or a cough to disguise his amusement. It was a full-on belly laugh that had him throwing himself back in his seat, his head back and his mouth wide open. “Yeah, go ahead and laugh,” Liam muttered. “Just wait until Carter gets a brilliant idea for your blog.”

Why am I getting upset about it though? I opened the refrigerator and found myself a milk shake then sat on the couch. Today's new year, but you just left just like that. even without a wish. so much for loving me. I placed the carton on the table in front of me and stared at it. the carton had a picture of a cow laughing at me. "Why are you laughing at me? Are you mocking me? You can't laugh when you're dead." I took the carton and dumped it in the trash before going into my room again.

I eyed Clairmont, who looked like he was almost dancing behind Carter as he did his magic, and Clairmont eyed me back. “Say something.” I told him internally. “What? Me?” Clairmont stood straight and pointed at himself, while looking taken aback. I then grinned at him. “It’s a joke. I know you wouldn’t know what to say in this situation.” Ignoring Clairmont’s semi-hostile glare at me, I crouched down a bit, trying to look at Carter’s lowered face.

"That's my boy." "Oh, he just farted, for Pete's sake," Amos said. Then he took a sip of his coffee, made a face, and spit it back into the cup. Chase and Lauren stared at Amos until he looked at them. "What? It's true.It's a fart thing baby's do. They feel good after they fart, so they smile. If he takes after his daddy, he'll be smilin plenty," Amos chortled. Chase took his mug out of his hand and said, "How would you know, old man? You ever

he yelled in a pissed of voice. "Look at it" I said pointing towards the carrot in his hand. He gapes at the carrot in his hand, his face turns a bit red. He seems conscious and quickly kept the carrot aside. "So there was nothing funny in it" he said looking at the other side and putting on that rude and stern face. "Stop acting like you are crazy " He said with a plain face. "Don't fly too high; Mr Annoying we do know who is more crazier" I said resting the spatula on his neck.